ROTFLMAO! Some gems: "vees-a peuple-a cell me-a a geneeoos. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Stoopeed und ifeel peuple-a cell me-a crezy. Bork bork bork!" "Yo' midday be some sucka else's midnight, some sucka else's sunwaaay down and even some sucka else's sunup"
capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
posted
I had thought it was too dangerous to put this one here too, but what the hell.. you only live once. The Burn-Maker @ thespark.com
Any text will instantly be transformed into a profanity filled diatribe.
Here's a familiar passage transformed:
quote: Space, the fucking final frontier. These are the fucking voyages of the fucking starship Enterprise. That piece of shit's five year mission: To fuckin' explore strange piece of shit new worlds, to fuckin' seek out piece of shit new life and piece of shit new civilizations.. Goddamn, you are a shitbag. To boldly go where the fuck no motherfucking cockgobbling bastard has gone before.
-------------------- "Are you worried that your thoughts are not quite.. clear?"
Registered: Sep 2001
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quote:Space, the fucking fucking final frontier. These are the fucking fucking voyages of the fucking fucking starship Enterprise. That piece of shit's five year mission: To fuckin' explore strange piece of shit piece of shit new worlds, to fuckin' seek out piece of shit piece of shit new life and piece of shit piece of shit new civilizations.. Goddamn, you are a shitbag. I should torch your ass. To boldly go where the fuck the fucking fuck no motherfucking motherfucking cockgobbling bastard has gone before.
Even better ... I typed in:
"We come in peace," Captain Janeway said.
I got:
quote:"We come in peace," Captain Janeway said. "Pop Quiz, why are you such a burning reamed bitch?"
posted
Then I got more creative ... decided to get creative, so I typed: "Eat shit and die," Ben Sisko said as the Defiant twisted on a stubby nacelle and cut loose with a volley of hot blue phaser fire, pulling a Jem'Hadar fighter apart in a series of cascading explosians.
quote:"Eat shit and die," Ben Sisko said as the fucking Defiant twisted on a fuckin' stubby nacelle and cut loose with a volley of hot blue phaser fire, pulling a Jem'Hadar fighter apart in a series of cascading explosians. What's wrong with you?
capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
posted
A little sacrilege music if you would!
Here goes:
quote: Fuckin' Genesis 1 In the fucking beginning God created the fucking heavens and the fucking earth. 2 Now the fucking earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the fucking surface of the fucking deep, and the fucking Spirit of God was hovering over the fucking waters. Mind if I wallop your ass? 3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the fucking light was GOOD, and he separated the fucking light from the fucking darkness. 5 God called the fucking light "day," and the fucking darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning--the fucking first day. 6 And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the fucking waters to separate water from water." 7 So god-damn God made the fucking expanse and separated the fucking water under the fucking expanse from the fucking water above that piece of shit. And that piece of shit was so god-damn. 8 God called the fucking expanse "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning--the fucking second day. 9 And God said, "Let the fucking water under the fucking sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And that shit was so, god-damn it. 10 God called the fucking dry ground "land," and the fucking gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that that piece of shit was GOOD. 11 Then God said, "Let the fucking land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the fucking land that bear fruit with seed in that shit, according to their various kinds." And that bastard was so, god-damn it. 12 The fucking land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in that shit according to their kinds. Mind if I fuck your ass? And God saw that that piece of shit was GOOD. 13 And there was evening, and there was morning--the fucking third day. 14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the fucking expanse of the fucking sky to separate the fucking day from the fucking night, and let them bastards serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, 15 and let them shits be lights in the fucking expanse of the fucking sky to fuckin' give light on the fucking earth." And that shit was so god-damn. 16 God made two great lights--the fucking greater light to govern the fucking day and the fucking lesser light to govern the fucking night. He also (in addition to the fact that you're a bastard) made the fucking stars. 17 God set them shits in the fucking expanse of the fucking sky to fuckin' give light on the fucking earth, 18 to fuckin' govern the fucking day and the fucking night, and to separate light from darkness. You are a pussy. And God saw that that shit was GOOD. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning--the fucking fourth day. 20 And God said, "Let the fucking water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the fucking earth across the fucking expanse of the fucking sky." 21 So god-damn God created the fucking great creatures of the fucking sea and every piece of shit living and moving shit with which the fucking water teems, according to their kinds, and every dirty winged bird according to its kind. Which is deeper, your used up colon or your reamed ass? And God saw that that piece of shit was GOOD. 22 God blessed them piece of shits and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the fucking water in the fucking seas, and let the fucking birds increase on the fucking earth." 23 And there was evening, and there was morning--the fucking fifth day. 24 And God said, "Let the fucking land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the fucking ground, and wild animals, each according to fuckin' its kind." And that piece of shit was so, god-damn it. 25 God made the fucking wild animals according to their kinds, the fucking livestock according to their kinds, and all the fucking creatures that move along the fucking ground according to their kinds. And God saw that that bastard was GOOD. 26 Then God said, "Let us make piece of shit bastard in our image, in our likeness, and let them piece of shits rule over the fucking fish of the fucking sea and the fucking birds of the fucking air, over the fucking livestock, over all the fucking earth,[2] and over all the fucking creatures that move along the fucking ground." 27 So god-damn God created dirty bastard in that bastard's own image, in the fucking image of God he created that bastard; male and bloody bitch he created them piece of shits. 28 God blessed them shits and said to their sorry ass, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the fucking earth and subdue that piece of shit. You are a fiery fried shithole. Rule over the fucking fish of the fucking sea and the fucking birds of the fucking air and over every fucking living creature that moves on the fucking ground." 29 Then God said, "I give you every molested seed-bearing plant on the fucking face of the whole damn earth and every bloody tree that has fruit with seed in that piece of shit. Them poo pirates will be yours for food. 30 And to all the fucking beasts of the fucking earth and all the fucking birds of the fucking air and all the fucking creatures that move on the fucking ground--every bloody thing that has the fucking breath of life in that bastard--I give every oozing green plant for food." And that shit was so god-damn. 31 God saw all that he had made, and that shit was goddamn GOOD. And there was evening, and there was morning--the fucking sixth day. Know this, I should crack your anus.
Ooh this is my Eagle post... # 956
[ November 16, 2001: Message edited by: CaptainMike ]
-------------------- "Are you worried that your thoughts are not quite.. clear?"
Registered: Sep 2001
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-------------------- "I was surprised by the matter-of-factness of Kafka's narration, and the subtle humor present as a result." (Sizer 2005)
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Or neither. See, it's just not funny to just add "fucking" as an adjective before every noun. No humor in it at all. I'd say "be more creative," but it's a computer program, and can't be...
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
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capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
posted
But i thought it was funny when God damned himself, and took his own name in vain.
-------------------- "Are you worried that your thoughts are not quite.. clear?"
Registered: Sep 2001
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posted
Actually, I kind of have to go w/ Omega on this one. The Burn Maker is only funny about the first time you see it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Is that your ISSTIC Charles, or are you just happy to see me?
(What the bloody hell is an ISSTIC?!)
-------------------- "Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting."
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