posted
OnToMars, I'm getting here really late, but have you talked to your mother yet? If so, how did it go?
I can certainly sympathize with you on your situation. I've been in the same boat. My story is an extreme bit on the long side, so I'll save the story of betrayal, mistrust, and redemption for another day. I hid my grade problems for a long time from my parents. The main reason was that I did not want to disappoint them. They've always had high expections for me, and I've always wanted to make them proud. They never pushed me or nagged me about my grades, but there's just then instinctual thing in my head that tells me I need to do my best for them. I'm wondering if a psychologist would have lots of fun with me. You up for a challenge, Liam?
Anyway, I finally had to spill everything after my grade problems had reached critical mass. When I told my parents, I was just honest with them. I told then exactly why I was having problems. I let them in on how much my job in the dorms was affecting my ability to study effectively, and how at times I cared more about my job than school. I told them that I always tried to do well, but sometimes I just couldn't force myself to that. Fortunately, my parents were understanding. They weren't too happy with the four failing marks on my transcript, but they were glad that I finally told them what was going on.
OnToMars, here's my advise for you (if it isn't too late). Be honest with your mother. Do not lie; do not exaggerate. Simply tell your mother why things happened and how they were allowed to happen. Tell her that you are sorry that this happened, and try and convince her that you will do better the following semester. And beyond that, actually do better that semester. Sit down and think of everything that has distracted you and figure a way to fight against it. It's easier said than done, but it has helped me a bit.
Best of luck to you when you talk to her.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
-------------------- "Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting."
-Steve McQueen as Michael Delaney, LeMans
Registered: Mar 1999
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Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
Sure, why not. But I've already lined up 3 or 6 chicks who'll be above you. In terms of rank, that is. Not actually ABOVE you.
Jeff: No need. We found it. We went on Saturday. We bought something several inches long that requires C cells & glows in the dark of all things. Ain't that the bitch, yo.
-------------------- "The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"
posted
3 or 6? That's quite a range you got there...
Of course, if they are above me, what the hell is my job?
-------------------- "Lotta people go through life doing things badly. Racing's important to men who do it well. When you're racing, it's life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting."
posted
I dunno. I skimmed over most of the thread after the original post. It was getting late for me, so I just wanted to post my advice before getting some sleep.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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OnToMars
Now on to the making of films!
Member # 621
posted
Well, yes, that's the point. Shik's...shall we say phrasing...was unnecessarily rude. And I really wasn't in the mood to deal with anybody's shit.
But anyway, bit the bullet and called tonight. As it stands now, no car, no MDRS, and no acquisition of private pilot's license next semester. I'm really not sure how I'm going to get by another several months without my car. My car, to me, is more than a mode of transportation. It is a release, a way to clear my mind and vent frustration.
No real yelling, per say, just the smug patronizing "I knew this was going to happen." sort of subtext to the conversation. Which to me, is much more infuriarating than any good reaming out. Ugh, no support whatsoever. Just cold criticism. Arrrrggggghhhhhh!
-------------------- If God didn't want us to fly, he wouldn't have given us Bernoulli's Principle.
posted
Now that I've read the thread in its entirety, um, yeah, that was quite an interesting mini-Flamefest. At least it wasn't Jeff and Omega getting reamed out by the Top Dog this time.
OnToMars, um, yikes, man. That's really a raw deal you got there. From the perspective of someone outside of the situation, there was bound to be some sort of consequences since you willingly admitted blame for the class. But that really seems like a harsh punishment. I could see the extension of the car ban and even the postponement of the pilot's license, but the MDRS is something pertinent and worthwhile to your major. Will she not budge at all with you? Is there any chance that you could sit down for a few hours with her and try to strike a deal? There has got to be some sort of leeway in there something. A compromise or something. Give it a shot, maybe you can get the consequences lightened up a bit. Get the car sooner or go to the MDRS.
As someone who's been in a similar situation, man, that is a seriously rough deal you've gotten, OnToMars. No support whatsoever? Nothing but cold criticism? That's just yucky. This coming semester could be quite tough on you for those two reasons alone. Do you have any really close friends with you at school? Talk to them; let them know what's going on. Vent to them, and hang out with them. If you're mother isn't going to be supportive of you to the degree you need it, you're friends definitely will. I doubt very much that I could have survived my own problems without the help of my friends. Also, is it possible for you confront your mother about her attitude to this? I mean, if you told her the truth about the class, she should be satisfied that you're able to recognize that you made mistakes and intend on fixing them. It wouldn't completely override the disappointment of the class, but it's still a good sign.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
posted
Hmmm... well at least it's not hanging over you anymore, you can just try and pick up the pieces. I don't know your mother, obviously, but I don't think people stay mad for too long about stuff like that. After all, all you did was fall behind a bit in your Maths unit, and it wasn't completely your fault. If you feel a bit cheeky, ask your mother if she ever failed a class, or leave some of your most difficult-looking class notes lying around where she can see them, in an effort to get some sympathy. Also, you could try explaining the academic side of things to the Dean of your faculty (without the part about not working). You never know, you might be able to strike some kind of deal to allow you to catch up somehow.
If people ask why you don't have a car, tell them you're doing it for the environment
-------------------- "Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing. To hope's end I rode and to heart's breaking: Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red nightfall!"
The Battle of the Pelennor Fields.
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
[JOKING MODE] OnToMars - now if you screw it up on your next chance then we'll all come over and pistol whip you! [/JOKING MODE]
OK. Seriously now . . .
That does suck just a bit, but I can understand your parent's point of view - they are trying to teach you responsibility. But you know this and don't need me to tell you. Sounds like your education is as f***ked up as it is over here. Here they just want your money and that's it. To them you are just a number and nothing more. As for listening to a computer - I'm impressed with computers (when they work) but I'd never listen to one when it tells me to do something.
I now feel fortunate to have the parents that I have. I have had some troubles in my life. Firstly I was bullied and didn't tell anyone until it got too much for me and I got into trouble at school. My mum came to the rescue and has been my defender and supporter ever since. She listens to my troubles, knows when I have problems and urges me to talk about them.
I had trouble with my A-levels the first time around. I was a little scared to tell them what I had got - fearing the worst. But they supported me and helped me through my resits. I'm now a bit like you. Pissed at the education system and fed up after 17 years of it. I'm demotivated and so stressed that if you switched the light on I'd have a heart attack.
They are the steady rocks beneath my feet where I walk. I doubt that I could get through all the shit that I've been through without them.
Even though I am ashamed to admit to them that I am struggling and not doing as well as we would all like, I know that even though telling them is hard and painful, it is the right thing to do.
OnToMars - you may feel down now but I think that you've done a very brave thing. I'm proud of you son!
NOW GET BACK TO YOUR CLASSES AND W-O-R-K!!!
And if you ever catch me slacking I expect you to tell me the same!
Chin up OnToMars, things could be worse. At least you still have your parents, your health and you can always improve things.
-------------------- If you cant convince them, confuse them.
posted
BUGGER!!! It just lost my post!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oh well here we go again!
OnToMars: (Joking mode on) Now if you screw it up on your next chance then we'll all come over and pistol whip you! (Joking mode off)
Seriously: Pal I think you did a brave thing. It may hurt now but I think, I know that you've done the right thing. I'm proud of you son!
I have to say though, maybe your parents could be a bit more supportive of you - it wasn't all your fault. That stupid computer told you what to do. While I am impressed with computers, I would never do anything like that if it told me to. There's your second fault (the first being you're kinda lazy).
My parents are the steady rocks beneath my feet. Without them I'd probably never have gotten through all the shit that has happened in my life.
I know how you feel about the education system mate. Where I am now all they care about is your money. To them you are just a number and they don't give a shit about you. Not to mention all the stress with assignments and exams all the formula that I have to learn!!!!!
Keep your chin up OnToMars, things may look bleak now, but your parents are trying to teach you some responsibility. I know it sucks and I know that you don't need me to tell you this, so I won't. Look on the bright side: when you've achieved your grade you'll get your car and you'll appreciate it that much more. And every time you look at it you'll remember what you had to go through to get it. That way you won't make the same mistake again.
Like me!
-------------------- If you cant convince them, confuse them.
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