...the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
...you let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
...you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
...you think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
...Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."
...you think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
...you wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
...anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this"
...you've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
...you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
...your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
...you go to your family reunion looking for a date.
...your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
...you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."
...you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
...you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
...the bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
...you have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
...one of your kids was born on a pool table.
...your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
...you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
...you have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
...you can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.
...you dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.
...you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
...your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
...your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
------------------ American Society of Newspaper Editors motto: "Proudly Maintaining the (Continued on Page A-4)". www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/
------------------ "Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Yeah! Some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice. Whoo hoo! 'Cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love!" - Steve Miller Band's The Joker
And while they're slightly funny....I hope no one takes them seriously. *rolls eyes* Statements to the extreme some of those did--and which Foxworthy does on occasion--disturb and disgust me to no end. pleh. *very sick of the hillbilly-inbred jokes*
------------------ Clones are People Two
"The Force is like duct tape: it has a dark side and a light side, and it holds the universe together" ([[[[[[*]}�������������������������
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