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I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
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I wasn't originally going to fess up to this, Snay, but it seems I have a dirty little secret I can't keep any longer.
Today my car broke down, and I had to trek home to the farm to borrow my dad's truck. There are a few details of the farm I've never really told anyone here about. Secret things.
But what I saw this evening, I can no longer keep under my hat.
You see, my parents are raising an animal. His name is Bucky. He is a deer.
The secret, from the beginning: Around 1992, when my father was scouting property he wanted to build his farm on, he was driving through some acreage that was for sale, and he was walknig in the woods. At a clearing, a deer, a buck with marvelous antlers stopped and stared at my father for a moment. He then snorted and ran off. My father decided then what the farm he would build would be called.
The Snort'n Buck Farm.
I lived there from 1995 to 2000, never telling anyone that my parents were, in fact, deer lovers. They would watch the deer sample our many salt licks and photograph them as they danced around our fields. No Trespassing signes were added to our property to protect their precious deer from hunters. My Dad would often fire his shotgun into the air in order to ward off traveling hunters from entering our property and killing the deer.
At the beginning of this year, a deer was killed on our road in an automobile mishap (Ever been to R.I., Snay?). It had two younglings of its kind that were orphaned. My parents took them in, feeding them and nursing them to health (they were sick or something). At one point, neighbors were frightened by the animals wandering the street and not being afraid of humans, and reported my parents to the environmental police, who cautioned them to harboring wild animals. The female deer ended up leaving with a pack of deer once she was old enough to fend for herself, but groups of deer dont often accept new males, so Bucky is still staying at my parents.
He has begun to grow antlers, and lives in the backyard. My parents feed him, and my father admits that he has let Bucky in the house, and that Bucky likes to watch football.
I'm sorry Jeff.
-------------------- "Are you worried that your thoughts are not quite.. clear?"
Registered: Sep 2001
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Your parents should get Bucky a large orange jacket for him to wear. That way, he will be safe. You could also write his name on it, like a bowling shirt, and maybe you could put on little aeroplanes and maybe a star or a rainbow? Who knows, man. Let your imagination go crazy.
Registered: Oct 1999
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This is a good way to contrast my father's side and my mother's side of the family.
My father's family is in Wisconsin. They love deer. They care for deer. My father's side of the family is like CaptainMike.
My mother's side of the family is from Kansas. They love deer... for killin'. They care for deer... for eatin'. My mother's side of the family is like Snay.
Therefore, I am the product of a consummated marriage between Snay and CaptainMike.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
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I'm tired of your lip boy, go to you room. Don't make me get you Snay upset too!
For the record, I dislike animals, except possibly for cats. Tonight i had to slog through the mud in cold rain and help my father feed 2 llamas, 3 horses, 4 sheep, 2 goats, 1 pig, three rabbits, far too many chickens, 3 cats, 5 dogs and 1 deer. I don't much approve of the parents farm, especially since its a nonfunctional hoppby.. the only thing it produces is chicken eggs, the other animals are raised purely for pets.
But damn that deer was cute.. it licked my hand and likes when you scratch behind its ears.
Registered: Sep 2001
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[ November 14, 2002, 08:33: Message edited by: TSN ]
Registered: Mar 1999
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capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
posted
for the record, my dad could care less, but my stepmother is the nutty animal lover and she makes him take care of all sorts of this type of bullshit
Registered: Sep 2001
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Well, that is interesting Captain Mike... it sounds like you have a domesticated deer since it likes football. I'd say trim the antlers and teach the deer to belch after drinking a six pack and a touchdown.
-------------------- "It speaks to some basic human needs: that there is a tomorrow, it's not all going to be over with a big splash and a bomb, that the human race is improving, that we have things to be proud of as humans." -Gene Roddenberry about Star Trek
Registered: May 1999
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I was channel surfing last night, and saw a video clip of a deer beating the crap out of a guy. I'm not sure what was going on, but from what was said, the guy had put "Doe in heat" on him, in order to attrack the deer. I don't think he was hunting, but getting video of him feeding a deer, or something equaly stupid.
The Buck knocked him over and began to beat the crap out of him with it's forepaws. Whap said the deer, whap, whap whap,
They both got tired, the deer slowed down, so the asshole grabed it around the neck, and tried to wrestle it to the ground, and couldn't, but managed to roll away before the deer did anymore damage.
The White Tail population in West Virginia has grown to the point that hunting season was extended, doe season has had extra days, more black powder permits were issued, and yet the population is still growing.
But! Coyotes are making a major comeback in West Virginia, as are wild Turkeys, but I suspect the Coyotes will thin the deer herds over the next few years.
-------------------- Sparky:: Think! Question Authority, Authoritatively. “Believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what you see.” EMSparks
Shalamar: To save face, keep lower half shut.
Registered: Jun 1999
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Daryus: I think practicality dicates he should move beyond the bullbar.
-------------------- "I was surprised by the matter-of-factness of Kafka's narration, and the subtle humor present as a result." (Sizer 2005)
Registered: Mar 1999
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I dunno... There's a black Jeep in the city that has a bright yellow bullbar that covers the entire front of the Jeep, plus it goes up over the hood and fenders halfway to the windshield.
-------------------- I haul cardboard and cardboard accessories
Registered: Mar 1999
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