This extremely refined lady walked into a pet shop, carrying a beautiful female parrot in a cage. The pet shop owner came over to her and asked her if she needed any help, and she set the bird up on the counter. "I was wondering if you could help me with this parrot..." the Lady said. "What seems to be the problem?"..asked the owner... "Well, the former owner of the parrot was a man of rather shady backgrounds, and only taught this bird how to say swear words. I was wondering if there was something you could do to get it to stop saying them."... The owner thought about this, then pointed to a cage with two other parrots in it, in the corner. "I can put her between those two birds over there. They used to belong to a monk and all they do is pray all day. I'm sure they'll teach your bird to act like a Lady instead." The Lady liked this idea and left her bird to the owner's keeping. The owner then put the bird in the cage with the two other pious parrots. The first parrot turned to the second parrot and said "Good Lord, Charlie, our prayers have been answerd!"
------------------ "Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned What it is to be in love and have that love returned"
[Realizing that not everyone is an amateur student of humor, Baloo exerts superhuman willpower to suppress the impulse to post several variants of the above joke.]
posted
So this christian couple decide they wanted a pet. They go to a local pet store run by a fellow christian, and ask about a good christian pet. "Well, he says, I've got this dog that was raised in a good christian home; he's well manorded and very smart. The couple happily took the dog and returned home. Relaxing that evening, the man looked at his new dog and said, "Please bring me a bible form the other room". The dog jumped up and went into the other room and returned with a bible. The man was impressed, and said"Open it to the first chapter of Psalms". The dog easily found the right page and waited for the next command. The next evening the couple invited some friends over to show off there new pet. Their friends were awed as the dog proved he could find any book, chapter verse in the bible. one of their friends asked "Can he also do any regular dog tricks". "I haven't tried that"the man replied and turned to the dog and said "Heel". The dog put his paws on the mans forehead and bowed his head. (rimshot)
Printer-friendly view of this topic
