Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
Corporate Lesson #1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up hers when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour.
Bob, of course, is a little surprised at the sight. Before the wife can say a word, Bob says "I'll give you $400 to drop that towel to your waist". Well, the wife decides "what the heck" and lets the towel fall to the waist. Bob looks, blinks, gives the wife $400 and then says "I'll give you another $400 if you let that towel drop completely". Well, the wife decides "well, I've come this far" and lets the towel fall completely, leaving her stark naked. Bob stares at the sight for a few seconds, gives the wife the other $400 and then leaves. Confused, bud excited about her good fortune, the wife wraps herself back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob, the next door neighbour", she replies.
"Great, did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson #2 A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129".
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand, however he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
Further on while changing hear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129". Once again the priest apologized, "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129, it said: "Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory".
Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job or you may miss a great opportunity
Corporate Lesson #3 A sales rep, an Admin clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when the find an antique oil lamp. The rush to get it, and all three rub the lamp when a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I will give each of you one wish."
"Me first, me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next, me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"Ok, you're up," the Genie says to the Manager.
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
-------------------- "And slowly, you come to realize, it's all as it should be, you can only do so much. If you're game enough, you could place your trust in me. For the love of life, there's a tradeoff, we could lose it all but we'll go down fighting...." - David Sylvian FreeSpace 2, the greatest space sim of all time, now remastered!
Registered: Mar 1999
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