Flare Sci-fi Forums
Flare Sci-Fi Forums Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Community » Officers' Lounge » Conundrums

   
Author Topic: Conundrums
Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33

 - posted      Profile for Saltah'na     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. OK . so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

18. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

19. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

20. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

21. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

22. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea. Does that mean that one out of five enjoys it

--------------------
"And slowly, you come to realize, it's all as it should be, you can only do so much. If you're game enough, you could place your trust in me. For the love of life, there's a tradeoff, we could lose it all but we'll go down fighting...." - David Sylvian
FreeSpace 2, the greatest space sim of all time, now remastered!

Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
WizArtist II
"How can you have a yellow alert in Spacedock? "
Member # 1425

 - posted      Profile for WizArtist II     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Somehow, the voice of Stephen Wright keeps popping into my head.

--------------------
There are 10 types of people in the world...those that understand Binary and those that don't.

Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged
Aban Rune
Former ascended being
Member # 226

 - posted      Profile for Aban Rune     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Saltah'na:
23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea. Does that mean that one out of five enjoys it

Well I sure know I do.
Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Josh
Member
Member # 1884

 - posted      Profile for Josh     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This reminds me of the "confused philosopher" bit on Air Farce. Canucks will know what I mean.
Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

 - posted      Profile for Sol System     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
WE CAN SEND A MAN TO THE MOON BUT OUR JOKES ARE STILL BAD
Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

 - posted      Profile for Sol System     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
(I kid with loving kidness.)
Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Ritten
A Terrible & Sick leek
Member # 417

 - posted      Profile for Ritten     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You Runed my day, beeting me to that.

--------------------
"You are a terrible human, Ritten." Magnus
"Urgh, you are a sick sick person..." Austin Powers
A leek too, pretty much a negi.....

Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
Daniel Butler
I'm a Singapore where is my boat
Member # 1689

 - posted      Profile for Daniel Butler     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You know, after the humor, all those things, of course, have answers, if you only know them. ...I do not know the answer to what hair color they put on a bald man's drivers license. I mean for someone who physically can't grow hair anymore. But I would assume they'd just ask him and he'd respond with his prior hair color.
Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
The Ginger Beacon
Senior Member
Member # 1585

 - posted      Profile for The Ginger Beacon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Or they'd put none perhaps?

My licence doesn't even mention hair (and the photo makes mine look black!)

--------------------
I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998... And... it's still alive.

Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Daniel Butler
I'm a Singapore where is my boat
Member # 1689

 - posted      Profile for Daniel Butler     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You know, I've never really looked at my license before. *rummage* Hmmm...mine either! Kind of feel stupid now..
Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Ritten
A Terrible & Sick leek
Member # 417

 - posted      Profile for Ritten     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Daniel Butler:
Kind of feel stupid now..

You are starting to fit in just fine.

--------------------
"You are a terrible human, Ritten." Magnus
"Urgh, you are a sick sick person..." Austin Powers
A leek too, pretty much a negi.....

Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

 - posted      Profile for Jason Abbadon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by WizArtist II:
Somehow, the voice of Stephen Wright keeps popping into my head.

A man who makes the idea of tearing someone's tongue out seem rational....even civic-minded.

--------------------
Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


© 1999-2024 Charles Capps

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3