I dunno if it's real or if an adult concocted this as propaganda. It's kinda cute and needn't be taken very seriously in any case.

A Third Grader Explains God...

Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, from Chula Vista, California, for his third grade homework assignment to "Explain God."

"One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way, He doesn't have to take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.

God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times besides bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because He hears everything there must be a terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless He has thought of a way to turn it off.

God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you should't go wasting His time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have.

Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our church.

Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of Him preaching to them and they crucified Him.

But He was good and kind like His Father and He told His Father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said OK.

His Dad (God) appreciated everything that He had done and all His hard work on earth so He told Him He didn't have to go out on the road anymore, He could stay in heaven. So He did.

And now He helps His Dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones He can take care of Himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary only more important.

You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to hear you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the times. You should always go to Church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God. Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong! And, besides, the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anywhere.

If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared in the dark or when you can't swim very good and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids. But you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you.

I figure God put me here and He can take me back anytime He pleases.

And that's why I believe in God."

Hmmm... Yup! I haven't noticed a lot of athiests in the pews either. They must all be at the beach. Waiting for the sun to come out.

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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.
-- MARK TWAIN
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

Sunday morning services were going very smoothly when suddenly a flash of light and smoke appeared in front of the pulpit followed by a large "BOOM".

When the smoke cleared, the astonished congregation saw a red figure complete with horns, pitchfork and tail. Immediately, panic set in. People crowded through the doors, trampling each other in their rush to get away.

Satan watched the retreat with great glee, but his mood was disturbed by the sight of one man still lounging comfortably in his pew.

"Do you not know who I am?", Satan thundered.

The man's reply was nonchalant, "Sure I do."

Satan was puzzled. "Do you not fear me?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

The man snorted, "What for? I been married to your sister for 35 years!"

And, yes, in case you're wiondering, my email is finally back online.

--Baloo

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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.
-- MARK TWAIN
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

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"Nobody is just anything . . . Everyone is of equal value, regardless of their station."
Romanian President Nicolae Carpathia to Cameron Williams of the Global Weekly

Cute story, Baloo.

I liked the second one, I'll tell that one around the office.

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WHO ARE YOU?

Anyway, forgive my for my hypersensitivity in this area, but I've seen what happens to you people. It isn't pretty.

Example:

I enter a room filled with a variety of people, including vegetarian athiests as well as orthodox Jews and Muslims, and declare in a loud voice: "Anyone who won't eat ham is a dolt!"

Despite my protests of innocence that the phrase was not directed at any one person, I am guilty of verbally insulting each person in the room who, for whatever reason, will not eat ham. If I intended to be insulting, that's one thing, but protesting that no-one has anything to complain about because I wasn't specifically talking about them, is deluded.

It is my personal opinion that the deletorious effects you ascribe to organized religion are actually caused not by a belief in God, but by the ability of human beings to rationalize greedy, selfish, hateful behavior with spurious logic. "Sorry I gotta hate you, man, But God says I have to."

Yeah. Right. And Santa Clause is my next-door neighbor.

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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.
-- MARK TWAIN
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

And I didn't call anybody a dolt. :-)

So what i'm basically trying to say here... is maybe it wasn't necessarily the religion itself that made the difference.... I mean, I changed religions because christianity wasn't my thing. But the ETHICS I've learned while being christian have stuck with me all my life, and I think THAT is what makes good children good.