WizArtist II
"How can you have a yellow alert in Spacedock? "
Member # 1425
posted
OK, on August 20th, my wife's mother passed away. This is just 18 months from when her father passed away. It was her mother's birthday and she had just turned 59. So tomorrow, my WIFE'S birthday, we get to go to court to BEG that the court orders a release of money so we can actually bury her.
All because of one issue that her mom refused to correct.
You see, her mom had had Cellulitis for three yeas and had developed into other issues that were extremely painful (MRSA, Psuedomonus, kidney failure, etc.). My wife BEGGED her to fill out a "Power of Attorney" in case something happened and to fill in the beneficiary on her accounts so we could access them to do what was needed. My wife was her only child and she was divorced so she thought "What's the difference? It all goes to you (my wife) anyway".
Well, here's the difference. Had she simply put my wife's name as beneficiary on her accounts, we would have been able to claim that money immediately to pay for the burial and all the other things that go along with it. Since she did NOT do that, we are having to go to court to get an Exparte order to her bank to cut a check to us so we can pay her burial expenses. My wife has already filed to be administrator of the estate, however, that has to go before the court and will not happen for thirty days. There are a ton of other issues that I will not go into, but suffice it to say, that WE are now bearing the brunt of the expenses until the probate closes which will most likely be FIVE MONTHS from now.
I just want to bring this to everyone's attention. For the sake of those that will have to deal with things should the unfortunate happen to you, please make sure that you have all your accounts set up with correct and complete Beneficiary information. Also, setting up a POA will allow your spouse or whomever to take care of the things should you become incapacitated.
My wife was still dealing with the passing of her father and all the issues and emotions there and now she gets to deal with the courts to take care of her mother's property and because something as simple as filling out a form was not done, she now has MONTHS of legal crap to deal with.
-------------------- There are 10 types of people in the world...those that understand Binary and those that don't.
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
My mom went through a similar ordeal trying to convince my grandfather to set up safeguards on his accounts when my grandmother died. It's like talking to a Klingon. He's convinced people are all out to get his money.
I think my dad finally talked some sense into him so hopefully my mom and her sister won't have to go through what you're describing when the inevitable happens.
posted
Our family went through something similar a few years back.
My grand mother and grand father split up and started living apart but never formally divorced back in the late 60's as it wasn't that common of practice back then. My grand mother lived with the four kids and kept their original house and the two extra houses and owned and rented out to tenants as an easy secondary income. Four years ago, my grand father passed away.
When he died, he had another house in town he lived in and a summer cottage. After he was buried and a few months passed, the two homes he owned and the three my grand mother occupied were all to be left in her name as the survivor (and still married beneficiary). Unfortunately, there was one big snag.
Both being in their mid 80's and very old fashioned thinkers, my grand mother never had her name put on any of the house deeds or mortgages, nor did they have any shared bank accounts. Essentially, she had to fight a two year ongoing court case to get ownership of five houses and around 100k that he had left behind. She had 45 years to go to the bank and sign a few legal papers to avoid this, but instead we had to deal with this legal crap for ages as she isn't in the best of health and unable to pursue it herself.
Like you said, it's best to be prepared, if not for yourself then for those around you.
Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
Sorry to hear about your loss- and the hassle that is going with it, Wiz.
The thing is that no one wants to confront their mortality -and children trying to talk to their parents about this kind of stuff come across as vultures.
But hey. At least the Republicans are fighting against having doctors consult the elderly about such things- because having a physician talk about Power of Attorney and DNR forms would be "Death Panels". Fuckers have thousands of elderly people afraid of taking care of these things when the leglislation ws started by an elderly Republican.
-------------------- Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering. -Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
My parents have actually been incredibly proactive in this regard. My dad sat both my brother and down in front of his computer last year when we were both home and went over everything: where his money was, his stock, where all the documents are, who to call... all of it. Basically, if anything ever happens to him, all we have to do is open up a Word document and it's all the information we need is right there. I'm very thankful.
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