In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.

In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the
doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained.

In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct
taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside
wanting to get out.

At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.
At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic.
At work we have managers.

A Liberal's Solution to crime is more work for the poor.
A Conservative's Solution is more Prisons and the Death Penalty.

At work there is a dress standard but I must buy my own clothes.
In prison there is a dress standard, but they supply the clothes.

In prison they will pay my way through school to learn a new career and give me time to do it.
At work they will pay for my education but I must do it on my own time.

In prison I can fall asleep on the job and no serious consequences comes from my actions.
At work if I fall asleep on the job I get put on the next RIF list.

In prison you have full medical coverage with no deductibles.
At work, you get partial coverage and pay all the deductibles.

It's so... realistic.

If I said anything more, it'd belong on the flamboard.

We never brought it up again.