When President Clinton finished his time here on earth and approached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter asked him, "And who might you be?"

"It's me, Bill Clinton, former President of the United States and leader of the free world. I'd like to enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Of course," says St. Peter. "But first, you have to confess your sins."

Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you can't call it dope-smokin' because I didn't inhale.

There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it adultery, because I didn't have real intercourse.

And I made some statements that were misleading, but you can't call it lying because, as far as I know,it didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."

With that St. Peter, consulted the Book of Life briefly and declared, "Okay, here's the deal.

We're sending you to someplace hot, but we're not calling it hell. You will be there indefinitely, but we won't call it eternity. And when you enter you don't have to abandon all hope, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."

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My mind wanders, but don't worry. It's weak and can't get very far.
--Steve Allen
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