The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

-- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous, speaking on Larry King Live

The police are not here to create disorder. They're here to preserve disorder.

-- Former Chicago mayor Daley, during the infamous 1968 convention

If you've seen one redwood tree, you've seen them all.

-- Forestry expert Ronald Reagan

Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.

-- Former Australian Cabinet Minister Keppel Enderbery

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

-- Former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle

The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people that make them unsafe.

-- Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo

The internet is a great way to get on the net.

-- Republican Presidential Candidate Bob Dole

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

-- Andrew Mathis

It's like an alcatraz around my neck.

-- Boston mayor Menino, on the shortage of city parking spaces

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret i have was that I didn't study latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

-- Former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle

They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.

-- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

-- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

-- Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

-- Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.

-- Former French President Charles de Gaulle

That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.

-- A congressional candidate in Texas

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

-- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

Billion here, billion there, pretty soon you're talking about real money.

-- Everett Dirksen

Half this game is ninety percent mental.

-- Philadelphia Phillies Manager Danny Ozark

It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

-- Former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle

Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.

-- General William Westmoreland, during the war in Vietnam

If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.

-- Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin

I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.

-- Former U.S.Vice President Dan Quayle

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

-- Brooke Shields

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A well-intentioned fool can get into more trouble than any number of rapscallions.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

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"One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor". George Carlin

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Christian States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all who believe." -- Dan Quayle, at a Christian Coalition campaign fundraiser

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"I consider the foundation of the Constitution as laid on this ground: That "all powers not delegated to the United States, by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States or to the people . . ." To take a single step beyond the boundaries thus specially drawn around the powers of Congress is to take possession of a boundless field of power, no longer susceptible of any definition."
- Thomas Jefferson to George Washington, 1791

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"One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor". George Carlin

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"One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor". George Carlin

--Baloo

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Carpe Canem (Translation: Damn! The dog pooped on the carpet! AGAIN!!!)
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

While I believe a Mars mission is a worthy goal.. I wouldn't want him leading it. I can see it now...

"I claim this planet (in violation of treaty) in the name of the Christian States of America! Okay, let's open our helmets and smell the fresh pure Mars air!"

*WHOOSH!*

And there was great rejoicing.

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make."

All from Algore. Now some from Quayle.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

Mr. Potatoe-head.

Malapropism is the use of one word inappropriately.

For instance, much of what Archie Bunker said when he was trying to use big words was malapropisms.

That one "prison lawyer" that a Wayans brother (Damon?) used to portray used a LOT of malapropisms.

Here's a couple:
"I can't sit down. I've got really bad asteroids."

"The seeds I planted must be dead. They just aren't terminating"

viola.

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'In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to Liberty; he is always in allegiance to the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection of his own." ---- Thomas Jefferson