You have been warned.

1. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you.

2. Why is a Laundromat a bad place to pick up a woman? Because women who can't afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

3. Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

4. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

5. How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't, there is a clock on the oven.

6. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women never shut up long enough to build up pressure.

7. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

8. Bigamy is having one wife too many. So is monogamy.

I hereby disavow any further responsibility for the above jokes. If you take deep and meaningful offense at the above (so-called) humor, take it to the flameboard (and let the rest of us know so we can go gripe, too!) Personally, the only one I thought was funny was the one about passing gas, but I like "windy" humor.