My family is apparently plotting behind my back, arranging things so that they seem (to me) to work out "just right" so I can be moved to where 'they' feel I'll fit in better. (I am speaking of extended family)

My Aunt Dianne, Gramma, Grampa, and AUnt Kathleen arranged things secretly to get me 7 hours away from my family and friends, which they consider evil. Then, after I am settled in and happy here, My Aunt Kathleen starts on me about moving here permentantly. "I know that it's tough living at your house. Between your mom, Katie, and your father, I don't know how you make it." and "I'm suprised you know how to clean a house. YOu obviously didn't get that skill from your parents." are common things she says. Makes me angry... Then one day I'm on the computer realy quick before dinner and she comes up to me and asks me if I'm "Hanging out with the 'bad kids'". Then from there she accuses me of heavy drug and alcohol abuse, saying the whole family knows and is worried about me. All this based on something Dianne heard. I'd bet my left nut that it was Caryn Johnson, our church's gossiper person.

I mean, I have used weed and gotten drunk and smoked for a while now, but I've kept it low-key. It makes me so angry that she didn't have any real proof but accused me anyhow!

Then Kathleen goes to blame my so-called "Drug and Alcohol Problems" on my homelife. Okay, so my house isn't the most hospitible place to be, with the hyper kids, depressed/constantly sleeping/paranoid mother, verbally/emotionally/physically abusive father, mentally handicapped sister, and my own emotional problems, but where does she get off blaming them? She doesn't live there. I started using because I was bored, I wanted something to connect me to more people, to amke friends. (as lame as that sounds).

SO anyhow, I love Kathleen and the rest of my family, but it makes me angry how they all set me up for her to confront me. ANd the constant (for lack of a better word) dissing of my mom and constant requests for me to live down here... It's messing me up a little. In fact, after thinking about it al I called my mom and got really homesick. I cried for about 2 hours when I got in bed, and I almost never cry. They think they're protecting me? *LOL*

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What I'm looking for / Cannot be sold to me / I wish they all would stop trying / 'Cause what I want and what I need / Is and will always be free

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Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time!!
Gandalf

I think it's prefectly normal for them to be worried.

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If a diamond is a woman's best friend, why does a man has to settle for a dog?

Shack up at a friend's.

Easier.

Saying that (as well as backpeddling and sounding like a hypocrite. Not bad eh?) how does the making friends thing work? I'm not against alcohol or pot. I've taken them both. I still take alcohol regularly (that sounds weird), but it's different over here. I know it sounds weird to say taht EVERYONE does it, but, well, we do. People go to the pub, and drink. Uni students stay up, take pot, make coffee, and chat. It's not a biggie. While a few parents would be worried at their kids taking pot, it's not immediete grounds for taking them to get help. And most parents don't give a fig about their kids drinking. Well, maybe Muslim parents...

But, as these people friends that you're just hanging with, who happen to smoke and drink to help the conversation, and to help relax? Or are these people who are sitting their saying "huh, huh, I smoke. Look at me, I'm dead hard. Let's go knock over some dustbins".

There's nothing wrong with getting drunk - or stoned, to a certain degree - by itself, but the reason why you're doing it can make it wrong. If one of my friends deceided to stop drinking, they'd still be my friend. I might think they were a little weird, but I wouldn't start ignoring them. But if these people are hanging with you just cause you know a cheap supplier, they're not worth it.

Oh, and for what its worth, your family sounds, well, bad. And you yourself have said so in the past. If these people are saying stuff about your mum that's lies, then it's bad. If however, it's harsh, it hurts, but it's true, then you'll have to face it.

Those would be some pretty pathetic friends.

"There's nothing wrong with getting drunk"

Unless you get in a car.

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"Remeber, if there is a nuclear explosion, be sure to close your windows as the massive heat could cause objects within your home to catch fire".

Wise, wise words.

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Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time!!
Gandalf

Liam's implication is that there's nothing wrong with first type.

I don't go out with my friends and get pissed all the time. Sometimes we go to classical music concerts. Sometimes we (attempt) to play golf. Sometimes we just go to the shops to buy the latest Buffy box-set. Sometimes we go to the pub, have a couple of drinks, and have a chat. And other times we go to the pub, get hammered, and then stagger into a club and dance until 2 in the morning, often singing "I will Survive" embarrasingly loud.

I sometimes come in from work, get a can of Fsters out, and watch TV. That doesn't make me an addict, anymore than coming home and making a cup of coffee makes me "addicted" to caffine.

I'll say again, it depends who you're doing it with, and why. If you're doing it with people who are your friends (and I mean friends as in, well, friends), to unwind, or have fun, then it's fine, it's good. If however, you're coming in from work every night and drinking a bottle of Vodka before falling asleep on the couch, then it's a problem. If you come in from a club with a bunch of mates, and deceide to sit up talking, and maybe smoke a little pot, then it's fine. If you go over peoples houses every night, and just sit their shooing up, never going out, and barely communicating, then it's a problem.

You seem to have a thing in the Us of not quite knowing how to moderate. So rather thanrisking it, you just label it bad, and refuse to touch it. The majority of children in this country will have had a drink by the time they are 16, and most will have had their first hangover by the time they are 17. And we spend a lot less money on psychiatrists too.

But I'm curious to hear from Sunspot. How are you drinking and smoking? Is it in a social capacity, or are you hanging out with people whose life begins and ends with drugs?

You don't need to be drunk to do that. One time some friends and I started banging on the table at lunch and singing "Mr. Tambourine Man," and there was no alcohol involved.

"I sometimes come in from work, get a can of Fsters out, and watch TV. That doesn't make me an addict, anymore than coming home and making a cup of coffee makes me 'addicted' to caffine."

Why are you drinking either, instead of, say, Dr Pepper and tea, or something? Incidentally, I've found both beer are coffee to be vile-tasting, and I eat Spam!

"So rather than risking it, you just label it bad, and refuse to touch it."

And what's wrong with that? Do drugs and alcohol have any positive aspects at all?

"And mentioning drink-driving has nothing to do with the conversation anyway. Sunspot isn't drink driving, I'm not drink driving. You might as well have said 'yeah, it's okay to drink, unless you're carrying a GUN'."

Do you carry a gun on a regular basis, though?

No. And I don't take my car with me when I go out drinking either.

""So rather than risking it, you just label it bad, and refuse to touch it."

'And what's wrong with that? Do drugs and alcohol have any positive aspects at all? '"

I's wrong because we don't actually live in a black and white world.
Personally, I'd say that their positive effects are they allow me (personally) to relax and have a good time. Sure, I don't need to drink when I go out. But it makes it a lot more fun.

"Why are you drinking either, instead of, say, Dr Pepper and tea, or something? "

I said "coffee" becasue a lot of Americans have trouble comprehending that people eat and drink differently in different countries.
Actually, I can't stand coffe. I do drink about 8 cups of tea a day. And I find it helps keep me awake far better than Coke or Dr Pepper.

"You don't need to be drunk to do that. One time some friends and I started banging on the table at lunch and singing "Mr. Tambourine Man," and there was no alcohol involved."

Wow. You craazy guy. You should come over here and really show London how to party.

It's interesting. You spend all day at work. Youy're stessed. You all finish and go to the pub after. Everyone waits for their pint. When it arrives, they allput it to their lips, take a sip, say "ahhh", and almost visibly relax.

Personally, I don't think it's any different than taking headache tablets. Ofc ourse, if you take a bottle full of headache tablets every day, then you've either got a problem, or one of the crappest addictions ever. (Anyone else thik that Matthew Perry was laughed at in the addiction centre. "Hey, what you got?" "I'm addicted to heroin." "I'm addicted to Coke". "Booze". "Er, I'm addicted to headache pills." Imagine the embarrasssing silence.)

Hey, I need the money for booze and Crack.