posted                   

quote:

---

Today the end protruded for some length. "Are there any cheerleaders hiding behind my large protrusion? Maybe if only their clothes weren't grass-stained, they might be employable as nifty man-train drivers," observed president wannabe Al Gore. Suddenly, Howard Stern screamed like a lemur on Revlon's listening device, which started bananas flying through his airspace.

North Korea blows.

On this day, the Detroit Tigers ate hairy wombats' f�ces with sauce. Quickly and greedily chomping at chunks of plecostomus membranes, Pat Ahearne exploded. With neither rubber-ducky nor sexual pleasure basket, ready-and-willing Arthur Dent jumped out of Air Force One. President Harrison Ford sobbed against Arnold Schwarzenegger, who grinned flirtatiously.

Suddenly, Jessica Simpson melted Odo into chutney paste. "Help!" shouted the blonde wench. Unaware of Odo's plight, Optimus Prime flew by. Immediately, Goldstone Coneflower upended winebottles of Romulan ale.

This is whack.

"Hand me to the injection molding press!" said Winky Dwarf. "I yearn for Pop Tarts� Brand cherry." Unfortunately, Toodle Peet exploded. Surprisingly, nobody vomited, although the hammer-toed mongoose sneezed ketrecel-white up his mother's bum.

"Ne'ermind, I am insane," remarks Peter O'Toole. "It's irrelevant to our coke-snortage fun contest." Mounties flushed the toy boat against Winnipeg. The Upanishads, inspired by Liberache, ovulated like a heard of militant oxen. The Mario Twins indubitably used crack. The Vice President safety danced into a brothel filled with transexual baboons.

"I love this smell," said Lara Flynn Boyle. Meanwhile, roaring engines, sirens and cheese precluded the use of vibrators in the vaginas before supper. Even despite valium, Lara Flynn Boyle desanctified baboons, while Benton Fraser grudgingly married Tom Servo. "Why is my Megatron flying automatically!?"

Paraguay's destruction went unnoticed, until Crow T. Robot deduced Brain Guy's plot: assuming control of used underpants within five standard YMCAs.

Bluestreak streaked across Castle Forrester, whistling "Village People - YMCA".

Professor Xavier thought he farted beer dreams, Bobo added.

Now is doomsday!

Joel Hodgson gasped, "What manner of devilry replaced Pearl's clitoris with lightbulbs?!"

Lara Flynn Boyle's relevance diminishes. Mike Nelson imploded.

"Anyone fancy a meerkat?" Olivia Newton-John started vomiting meerkats like there was no tomorrow.

Like the saying goes, "If you cannibalize, masturbate, tap-dance and pillage, you may wear your Sunday best."

"Blessed Lorien", Sheridan ejaculated figuratively, referencing TV's Frank.

"Can't we all just get along?" wailed Tim. Little did Timothy know, aging technocrats had overtaken The Circle K, rummaging through merchandise for Altoids.

Fellating C-3PO, Anakin Skywalker oublietted, through his reticulated orifice, Dwight Eisenhower.

Zombie John C. Fr�mont ate Count Chocula, forgetting his duty to abolish vampirism in New York, New York, surreptitiously.

"Assume Sammy Jenkis already anally clenched twelve monkeys, Chris Marker, John G and Jesus H. Christ."

Tops and bottoms exposed, The Golden Girls caused Tim's bowels to function prematurely.

Explosive decompression is a bitch.

Lara Flynn Boyle engulfed Omega's tiny hairless wrinkled gerbil-like Wheaties inversion matrix array.

The Jackson Five licked Lara Flynn Boyle's Slim-Jim.

"Tastes like Rattlesnake gonads", Salman Rushdie asked. Then he wrote The Satanic Verses II: Return of the Fatwa which tasted like platypi. "Mmm... mmm... Good�", Lara Flynn Boyle said.

"Hi Albertosaurus!" was Utahraptor's shocked reaction upon hearing Dr. Alan Grant's rumbling, barrel-chested, bionic acrobatics. Assuming he played with himself. "Holy!" I elucidated.

The Taco Bell Chiuaua, enjoying a break, urinated generously

---