posted
A Guest 10 Questions... an interesting concept. Not the best, but it is on short notice, I suppose....
You all know the rules, right? Good.
1. Have you ever gotten a ticket for a very peculiar thing? 2. If the chicken crosses the road, will he die? 3. Am I the only one who found out about a Star Wars fan day half a week after it happened? And whose idea was this anyway? 4. Okay, who started the mad cow disease? 5. My cat wants to know how to find Sesame Street. So, where is it? 6. *notices odd looks from others* Does anyone else here accept instructions from non-sentient feline beings? 7. Fill in the blank: "I was on my way to work, when the ______ next door ___________" 8. Anyone else up for a rousing round of mini-golf? 9. If the stork doesn't deliver babies anymore, what do he and the albatross do? 10. What's the best way to play the infamous drinking game?
*thinks* Hmm... I'll judge 'em as a group sum, like the last one Jubes did. And you have until Wednesday. Short, but I can do no better.
------------------ Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")
posted
1. Yeah, I got a ticket for that "Sargent Bilko" movie...if that wasn't peculiar, I don't know what is.
2. One could theorize that at any given point, there are many things that could possibly happen while the chicken is crossing the road. It could possibly be struck down by a American Airlines jet, as it comes in for a crash landing...or it is possible that at that very moment, an earthquake could strike, causing the chicken to stumble and fall, breaking it legs, and starving to death.
But, as there are many other possibilities to a chickens' untimely death upon some stretch of highway, one would never know without observing, and possibly making a lame jokular anecdote.
3. Uh...a Star Wars Fan Day? Well, I apparently didn't know either! *cries*
4. Mad Cow disease, or Bovine Spongiform Encephlopathy(BSE), comes from the destructive effects of prions, little protiens that act very much like viruses, but cannot be taken care of like viruses. The prion is known for causing holes and such in the brains of animals who are infected, causing loss of motor control, and other brain related problems. The prion that causes BSE, originally came from sheep, which they have a similar disease called 'crappie'. The cows that were infected were fed the ground up remains of dead sheep as protein food.
But my theory is that its a Japanese mafia plot to boost their beef exports by limiting everyone elses...heheheh
5. Although I'm not fluent in cattese, I'm sure First of Two has some advice in communicating with cats...
6. *looks at his own cat* *looks at Garak* I'm being told not to tell you.
7. I was on my way to work, when the Canadians, our nation next door, announced a campaign to bring the US and Canadian dollar together. But then I woke up from that nightmare.
8. How rousing can Mini-Golf get?!
9. They both get drunk and play ping-pong!
10. Well, as there are many drinking games, it is hard to decide which one is best to play. Probably the most dangerous one, is the Star Wars drinking game. One of the rules is to drink every time Luke whines...and you know how many times he does that!
------------------ "We are all a product of the environment we live in.... the rest, good or bad, may be free will." Charles C. Bohnam
posted
1. Have you ever gotten a ticket for a very peculiar thing?
Hm... Well, I don't know about very peculiar...
2. If the chicken crosses the road, will he die?
Only if that steamroller doesn't stop soon...
3. Am I the only one who found out about a Star Wars fan day half a week after it happened? And whose idea was this anyway?
As far as I know, I don't know.
4. Okay, who started the mad cow disease?
That cow of whose imagination we were all figments in the last 10 Questions...
5. My cat wants to know how to find Sesame Street. So, where is it?
Groovy, daddy-o... What? Don't tell me you could have meant a real "cat"...
6. *notices odd looks from others* Does anyone else here accept instructions from non-sentient feline beings?
I only take orders from the sentient ones...
7. Fill in the blank: "I was on my way to work, when the ______ next door ___________"
I was on my way to work, when the house next door continued to exist.
8. Anyone else up for a rousing round of mini-golf?
Only if the motorized windmill promises not to cheat this time...
9. If the stork doesn't deliver babies anymore, what do he and the albatross do?
They're retired and playing shuffleboard in Florida...
10. What's the best way to play the infamous drinking game?
Well, I wouldn't know personally, but I'd guess with various ethanol-based beverages...
------------------ Brain: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Pinky: "I think so, Brain, but, if you get a long little doggie, wouldn't you just call it a 'dachshund'?"
posted
1) I AM a very peculiar thing. 2) Eventually, but who doesn't? 3) Huh? 4) Bluebell, the same Anarchist Cow responsible for the Great Chicago Fire. Wanted in 14 states and 7 countries. 5) Mrow, fft fft, hiss yarawll mreeow, fft hiss hiss, rawall miaow, then ask again. 6) ALL felines are sentient. They just don't want you to know that, as they rather look down upon humans in general. 7) I was on my way to work, when the Borg next door assimilated me. 8) Foozeball first. 9) It's too kinky to say here. 10) Best by far is the "Wizard of Oz" game. drink anytime anybody says "Wizard," "Witch," or "Dorothy." By the time you get through "We're off to see the Wizard", nobody will be standing*
*Note: I gave up drinking several years ago, so there may be new games I'm not familiar with.
------------------ "When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"
posted
*finds it interesting that no-one seems to even know what SW fan days were* Of course, it isn't something easy to come up w/ a joke about, as evidenced by my reply... :-)
------------------ Brain: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Pinky: "I think so, Brain, but, if you get a long little doggie, wouldn't you just call it a 'dachshund'?"
posted
1. Have you ever gotten a ticket for a very peculiar thing?
I once got a ticket to see the Ice Capades.... That has to be the MOST peculiar thing you ever saw in your life.... EVER.
2. If the chicken crosses the road, will he die?
Only if he crosses a very busy road, such as CA's Highway 280 during rush hour.... 'cause you know those people don't care about wether or not they kill a chicken with thier car... they're going HOME and that's all that matters! ....
3. Am I the only one who found out about a Star Wars fan day half a week after it happened? And whose idea was this anyway?
According to ancient legend, the Star Wars Fan day happens every summer solstice, after the sacred flower of the Jedi has bloomed on the Mountain of Za. Of course, none other but the Anti-Christ, Lucas himself, could have come up with such a paganistic holiday.
4. Okay, who started the mad cow disease?
First of all, get it straight: It started off as the "slightly annoyed Cow disease". But then the theory of God being in the fishies angered the main carrier of the cow, one "bessie", and she began to run around screaming vengeance upon the fish. It was after that that the creater of the "slightly annoyed Cow disease" realized he'd made a mistake, and that's when the "Mad Cow Disease" was born.
5. My cat wants to know how to find Sesame Street. So, where is it?
I wanted to be sure of the answer, so I asked MY cat for the directions. He flicked his tail a few times, and then told me it was down the street and around the corner. After further investigation, I realized that highway 12 is down the street and around the corner, NOT sesame street. Upon further consultation with my cat, I was told that I was a moron and to stop bugging him because he was trying to take a nap. No further investigation has followed.
6. *notices odd looks from others* Does anyone else here accept instructions from non-sentient feline beings?
*looks at her cat* *looks at Elim* What do you MEAN they're not sentient?!?! ....
7. Fill in the blank: "I was on my way to work, when the ______ next door ___________"
I was on my way to work, when the vinyl siding next door asked me how to get to that club "The Music Lady". As I didnt' know where the Music Lady was, I had to tell the poor lonely vinyl siding that I didn't know the way, but that I could provide it with similar entertainment if it needed. The vinyl siding agreed to that and handed me 200 dollars. I promptly ________ and _________." When I was done, I called work and told them I wasn't coming in because I was too sick and tired to move.
8. Anyone else up for a rousing round of mini-golf?
Depends... is anyone gonna be naked?
9. If the stork doesn't deliver babies anymore, what do he and the albatross do?
I'm glad you asked that question. The stork and the albatross were very upset for being laid off of their jobs. So they got together and formed this really demonic plan to take over the world. They created this really evil demon known as Bill Gates, and..... Oohhh.. I can't say the rest.... or they'll kill me. They promised.
10. What's the best way to play the infamous drinking game?
Well, I prefer the newer version called "Strip drinking game." The way you play this is, you turn on the TV to any program, and whenever anyone says the word "The", you take a drink. When someone says the world "and", you have to remove an article of clothing. The game is narrowed down to two winners who then usually end up too drunk and naked to do anything other than ..... well ...... sleep together.
------------------ Cherish your visions; cherish your ideas; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for if you remain true to them, your world will at last be built.
posted
1. Have you ever gotten a ticket for a very peculiar thing?
NEVER! My "thing" might be described in a variety of ways, but "very peculiar" is not one of them.
Besides, if you don't get caught, it doesn't count!
2. If the chicken crosses the road, will he die?
Yes. I will personally see to it.
There. Happy?
(Would not be the least bit surprised if the chicken changes it's road-crossing plans after reading this.)
3. Am I the only one who found out about a Star Wars fan day half a week after it happened? And whose idea was this anyway?
No. It was MY idea and they didn't tell me either. It's a conspiracy, I tell ya!
4. Okay, who started the mad cow disease?
[points] He did!
5. My cat wants to know how to find Sesame Street. So, where is it?
Tell your cat to look between Sunflower Street and Poppy street. And look out for the public transportation. It's deceptively fast.
6. *notices odd looks from others* Does anyone else here accept instructions from non-sentient feline beings?
Never! I only accept instructions from sentient feline beings. And then, only with proper I.D.
You can't be too careful these days.
7. Fill in the blank: "I was on my way to work, when the ______ next door ___________"
Saber-Toothed Wombats
Ate my foot.
(Fortunately, I always carry a spare for just such an emergency.)
8. Anyone else up for a rousing round of mini-golf?
Oh, certainly! Just as soon as I finish a rousing round of "stump the psychiatrist" and figure out how to remove this silly canvas jacket (now where are those buckles?)
9. If the stork doesn't deliver babies anymore, what do he and the albatross do?
They play Canasta for a penny a point in a retirement home in Encinada.
10. What's the best way to play the infamous drinking game?
Well, first you have to procure at least five Rockettes...
------------------ "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/
[This message has been edited by Baloo (edited June 27, 1999).]
posted
1) have you ever gotten a ticket for a peculiar thing?
No, but I once got a gift certificate for a rather odd object. It was the object's birthday.
2) if the chicken crosses the road, will he die?
If anyone crosses a road, they will die. Don't make a road angry. They become very vindictive when cross.
3) Star Wars fan days?
the prize is, you get to pay $7.50 for a kids movie and have your intelligence insulted.
4)Who started the Mad Cow Disease?
CBF Spender.
5) your cat wants to find Sesame Street?
follow the big yellow bird, baby.
6) does anyone else receive instructions from non-sentient feline beings?
Fact! The Cats are acting as Vorta for the Mouse Founders!
7) "I was on my way to work when the Old Navy store next door became a Starbucks and I couldn't get through all the SUV's."
8) anyone up for a rousing game of mini-golf?
Yes. Anyone who has just finished playing any kind of mini-golf.
9)If the stork doesn't deliver babies any more, what do he and the albatross do?
when the bottom dropped out of the infant-delivery business (30 minutes or it's free!) they had to get jobs with their competition: the pelicans. Now they deliver those AOL CD-ROM disks that no one keeps.
10) what's the best way to play the infamous drinking game?
Watch tv or a movie. If any character says "infamous," you have to drink a bucket of alcohol. Most drinking games emphasis drinking a little bit but frequently, this one is all about drinking rarely but in bulk. The best way to play? DON'T
posted
1. No, but I have a peculiar thing, yeah, that's the ticket. 2. No. chickens can run, roads are stationary. If he crosses are car however... 3. No, me too. Had to be Lucas. I would have gone though, if I'd known. would have been the furth time. 4. Elsie, the Borden cow, after being replaced by a younger heffer. 5. Look it up in an atlas, silly cat. 6. We once had a dog that could tell you where to go and what to do when you got there, with just a look. 7. I was on my way to work when the chicken next door treid to cross the road. Stupid chicken. 8. I'm not into blood sports. 9. The funcky chicken. (that's a sixties dance, for you youngsters) 10. I aways liked "High Bob". (you watch "The Bob Newhart Show", the one where he was a doctor, and every time some one says high Bob, you take a drink.
First place goes to Jubes. She's too good! She is too good, I tell you!
Second place goes to Baloo.
Kosh and Xentrick both get third, and hey, I almost missed Kosh's.
My favourite answers:
And whose idea was [Star Wars Fan Day] anyway?
Kosh: "Had to be Lucas." Jubes: "Of course, none other but the Anti-Christ, Lucas himself, could have come up with such a paganistic holiday."
Okay, who started the mad cow disease?
Jubes: "First of all, get it straight: It started off as the 'slightly annoyed Cow disease'...."
What's the best way to play the infamous drinking game?
TSN: "Well, I wouldn't know personally, but I'd guess with various ethanol-based beverages..."
Does anyone else here accept instructions from non-sentient feline beings?
Jeff Raven: "*looks at his own cat* *looks at Garak* I'm being told not to tell you." Baloo: "Never! I only accept instructions from sentient feline beings. And then, only with proper I.D. You can't be too careful these days."
If the chicken crosses the road, will he die? Xentrick: "If anyone crosses a road, they will die. Don't make a road angry. They become very vindictive when cross."
------------------ Doctor: "Run along. I'll reattach any severed limbs. Just don't misplace them." (Voyager: "The Killing Game")
posted
1. Have you ever gotten a ticket for a very peculiar thing?
I once got a ticket at about 4:30 in the morning to get into a freezing cold airfield in order to watch a plethora of hotair balloons lift off over the course of the morning.
2. If the chicken crosses the road, will he die?
Now, that all depends on if a car crosses the road at the same time.
3. Am I the only one who found out about a Star Wars fan day half a week after it happened? And whose idea was this anyway?
No. I am just now hearing about it. When was this? WHY was wasn't I informed of it?
4. Okay, who started the mad cow disease?
A mad bovine scientist nicknamed "Frankensteak"
5. My cat wants to know how to find Sesame Street. So, where is it?
*Pulls out large folded map and begins opening it* Okay--first, you'll turn left here....then go about three blocks, and make a right at the big oak tree on the corner. Then...aw, what the heck. Just tell the cat to go stalk a big yellow bird. *chuckles*
6. *notices odd looks from others* Does anyone else here accept instructions from non-sentient feline beings?
Cats are not sentient? You could fool me. Any animal who knows the very MOMENT i wake up in the morning and is able to cry RIGHT THEN for me to come give him food is CErtAINLY sentient. At least, one would think so.
7. Fill in the blank: "I was on my way to work, when the ___one horned one eyed flyin' purple people eater___ next door _____decided to eat me for breakfast. i fended it off with my briefcase, which valiantly gave its life in the end that I might survive. And so, Mr. Humperdink, THAT is why I do not have the survey report for you this morning. it was one of the many things in my briefcase.______"
8. Anyone else up for a rousing round of mini-golf?
*grins* *winks at Jeff* hehehehe.
9. If the stork doesn't deliver babies anymore, what do he and the albatross do?
they switched roles. the albatross now delivers babies as a forewarning to parents about the dangers children bring into the world with them. the stork still plays a role, but ... erm... it's not the kind of thing they talk about on daytime tv... *looks innocently at the ceiling*
10. What's the best way to play the infamous drinking game?
How else? drink in hand, bottle on table, and movie in vcr. :-)
------------------ "Fear attracts the fearful" ([[[[[[*]}�������������������������
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