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Author Topic: Warren Ellis on Zero Hour ($)
Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
astronauts gotta get paid
Member # 239

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For purposes of research and
black humour, I caught the
closing episodes of STAR
TREK: ENTERPRISE last night.

The show's been renewed,
as much by pressure from
the producers to get their
100 episodes for syndication
than anything else.

Now, these episodes weren't
as bad as the closing pieces
of ANDROMEDA, which has
gone beyond incoherence
into the rarified realms of
senseless gibberish. It's been
a long time since I've seen
television that pompously
bad. (For those who bailed
on the show, the Kevin
Sorbo character now turns
out to be a mythic immortal
being from beyond the
birth of the Universe called
The Paradine.)

But ENTERPRISE, bless it, has
had its own classic Jumping
The Shark moment.

For those unfamiliar with
the term, it refers to TV
shows that have gone into
the territory of total
fucking nonsense in misguided
attempts to keep concepts
past their sell-by date
creatively alive. Fonzie on
water skies jumping over
a shark.

So Scott Bakula, as tough
and expressive as a balsa
wood plank, is "killed" at
the episode's climax. Not
too convincingly. And
Enterprise returns to earth.
No radio noise from Earth.
They send a shuttle down,
obviously not having seen
enough TV to know what
this means, and old Scott
not having told the crew that
his old mate the time
traveller popped by to
inform him that if he dies
the Federation will never
happen.

They send the shuttle down,
and it's attacked by WW2
fighter planes, and Scott
is found in a medical unit
on the ground being
menaced by...

...Nazi space aliens.

Shark bukkake is when the
sharks get out of the water
wearing SS uniforms and
jerk off in Fonzie's face.

And mine.

If ENTERPRISE had gone off
the air, a great many good
people would have been
out of work, and that would
have been a great shame.

But please.

-- W

Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
TSN
I'm... from Earth.
Member # 31

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How annoying. Why would someone put line breaks after every five words?

Anyway, judging a cliffhanger episode without knowing anything about the second part seems a little... premature? Perhaps even... pompous? "The resolution of this plot isn't so obvious that I know immediately what it's going to be, so it must suck."

I mean, TOS did an alien Nazi episode, too, and it had a perfectly reasonable explanation. I'm not sure why Nazis + aliens is supposed to automatically equal complete badness.

Oh, and a couple of factual issues: Archer's "death" didn't need to be convincing. If we were really supposed to believe he was dead, they wouldn't have shown him alive five minutes later. Also, there was only one alien Nazi, and he wasn't menacing anyone.

Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
TheWoozle
Active Member
Member # 929

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I thought, all nazis where aliens.

--------------------
joH'a' 'oH wIj DevwI' jIH DIchDaq Hutlh pagh
(some days it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps in the morning)
The Woozle!

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Captain Boh
Senior Member
Member # 1282

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Since everyone would assume Danials would yank Archer out anyway, yeah the death didn't need to convince anyone
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Wes
Over 20 years here? Holy cow.
Member # 212

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Troll tastic.
Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged
Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

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God bless Warren Ellis.

(Though, say, it seems to me that The Authority went to the Nazi prop department a few times, maybe, too.)

Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
astronauts gotta get paid
Member # 239

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The Ultimates did, but Mark Millar is an egregariously poor writer.

And also probably wrote the issues of The Authority where Nazi Aliens Appeared. If they did (fuzzy memories).

Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

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(I have never read The Authority. My only actual comic book encounters with Ellis have been X-related. For which he would probably hit me with a brick. I would like to read, say, Orbital, though. A lot.)
Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
astronauts gotta get paid
Member # 239

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Comics are for stupids anyway.
Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged
PsyLiam
Hungry for you
Member # 73

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I do keep meaning to buy Hostile Waters though, if that's any help.

--------------------
Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.

Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256

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Warren Ellis is one of those rare special people who in the space of one paragraph can totally restore my faith in humanity from the lowest of humanly reachable lows.

"I do keep meaning to buy Hostile Waters though"

Schmuck.

--------------------
".mirrorS arE morE fuN thaN televisioN" - TEH PNIK FLAMIGNO

Registered: Nov 1999  |  IP: Logged
The Mighty Monkey of Mim
SUPPOSED TO HAVE ICE POWERS!!
Member # 646

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Wait...do sharks jerk off? I mean, how??? [Eek!]

--------------------
The flaws we find most objectionable in others are often those we recognize in ourselves.

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Harry
Stormwind City Guard
Member # 265

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Who the hell is Warren Ellis?

--------------------
Titan Fleet Yards | Memory Alpha

Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged
Lee
I'm a spy now. Spies are cool.
Member # 393

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Heh, "Shark Bukkake."

--------------------
Never mind the Phlox - Here's the Phase Pistols

Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

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Fuck Warren Ellis.

--------------------
Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
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