quote:Originally posted by Guardian 2000: Wow, I need subtitles.
Bridge scene 1
Narrator: In the year 2345 the Federation of Planets opened a Starfleet Academy near Carnoustie in Scotland. Four years later its first graduates emerged to find themselves rewarded with command of Starfleet’s newest and most powerful vessel: the ion impulse powered Aurora.
Captain: Reet Ensin. Gi’us warp factor ten. We’ll open this big bastard oop an’ see if it is shit of shovel a’ we hear of.
Android: Nae danger! Git yer belts oan.
Captain: Ne’er catch us wearin’ belts lik' a bunch a big poofters.
XO: Captain?
Captain: Wha?
XO: Ginna let us goin' ta the replicator? I’m starvin!
Captain: A’right. As lang as ye bring us back a mug a royal game soup and a couple o' outsiders.
Comms: Captain?
Captain: What new?
Comms: There a reet big hoor o' a spaceship coming towards us, and you wanna see the bastard size a the thing. It’s a guid yin or twa size bigger than ous ken!
Holodeck scene
Narrator: These graduates never backed away from danger as they were fearless and highly trained.
XO: Ah tellt ye afore ah dinnae wan any o` yer pish ur ah stick this reet in yer clagger bag!
Captain: What ye dooin ye daftie?
XO: Oh, ah’m jest ha’in a go in the holodeck, Cap’n! Ah’m holodeck daft, ken?
Bridge montage scene
Narrator: Take a journey into the unknown with captain McConnell;
Doctor: He's deid capt'n, stone deid. Na pulse or nutthin. Wull ye stoap keekin at mah arse, ya pervert!
Narrator: Ensigns McHaig the android and McDay, the communications officer;
Helm: Captain! We’re meddling wi’ forces we cannae possibly comprehend!
Android: Ye’re ken fine – ye’re gaggin fur it, eh?
Comms: Ye’ve hell haw chance o’ getting yer hole – yer an android, ye’ve cak all knob!
Alien: In sixty seconds we will board your ship and you will surrender your vessel to us.
All: Ach, gawan! Dinnae talk pish!
Narrator: Taysiders in Space – in amongst ye's!
-------------------- I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998... And... it's still alive.
Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged
-------------------- I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998... And... it's still alive.
Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged
Captain: Right Ensign, go to warp factor 10. Let's start her up and see if she is as fast as I have been told.
Ensign: Aye sir, please fasten your safety restraints.
Captain: No. Wearing a seatbelt would cause others to question our sexuality.
XO: Captain, permission to go to the replicator? I'm very hungry.
Captain: Certainly, provided you bring me back a portion of Royal Game soup and two end slices of bread.
Comms: Captain.
Captian: What is it now?
Comms: There is an extremely large lady of negotable affections of a spaceship approaching us, look how big it is! It's one or two sizes bigger than our ship!
Holodeck Scene
XO: I have told you before, I'll have no silliness from you otherwise I shall have to thrust this bottle into your gentlemans area.
Captain: What the Dickens are you doing?
XO: I am just having a session in the holodeck Sir. I love the holodeck! See!
Bridge montage
Captain: Set phasers to inflict serious dammage, such as sould be accomplished with a razor blade or more often a simple headbutt.
XO: It's like nothing that I have ever seen before Captain.
Doctor: He's dead, stone dead. There is no pulse or anything. Stop looking and my behind, you pervert!
Helm: Captain, we are dealing with forces that we can not possibly comprehend!
Ensign: You are extremely attractive, you'd like to have sexual relations with me, yes?
Comms: You've very little chance of that. You are an android and as such have little or no penis.
Alien: In sixty seconds we will board your ship and you will surrender your vessel to us.
All: Oh, go on! Don't talk suck nonsense!
-------------------- I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998... And... it's still alive.
Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged
Printer-friendly view of this topic
