posted
nonsense B. you just scanned in your underpants
------------------ Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent. Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside? Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.
posted
Tragedy struck today as the USS Ludicrous NX-000001-F was lost with all hands. The ship, which served as a testbed for several advanced technologies, plummeted into the Indian Ocean approximately five seconds after activation of its "buttered-whole-wheat-toast" shields. This was regarded by nearly everyone to be extremely odd, since it was being tested sectors away.
"We really don't understand it," admitted a member of the Ludicrous Technology Development Project. "All we know at this point is that the buttered side of toast has an unholy attraction to the crust of the planet Earth."
Despite the failings of this test, plans to develop the Ludicrous-class (with standard shields in place of toast) proceed apace. The starships Insane, Ridiculous, Incredible, Unbelievable, and Highly Improbable will all incorporate a hybrid Improbability-Bad News drive that allows for speeds in excess of R17.
EDIT: Grr, forgot to close a tag.
[This message has been edited by Lt. Tom (edited November 27, 1999).]
posted
Damn! I forgot about the "buttered-side-down" law. I should've used the un-butterd toast shields!
------------------ "It is required of every man," the Ghost returned, "that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellowmen, and travel far and wide; and if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death. It is doomed to wander through the world -- oh, woe is me! -- and witness what it cannot share, but might have shared on earth, and turned to happiness!" -- Jacob Marley's Ghost (A Christmas Carol -- Charles Dickens) http://members.tripod.com/~Bob_Baloo/index.htm
posted
Professor Gonk: But, you zee, if zey had only attatched ze kitty-cat to ze zhields, veet up like zo, ze inverze veet-virzt zpin ratio vould haff balanced out the butterred toazt zide, prrreventink zuch a calamity, und ze Ludicrous vould ztill be flyink!
------------------ Calvin: "No efficiency, no accountability... I tell you, Hobbes, it's a lousy way to run a Universe." -- Bill Watterson
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