"Log: After many episodes, we have finally reached the fabled Plah D'Viz. So... Uh... How do I use it?"
Ducane nodded. "Good question. There don't appear to be any docking ports or anything like that. Dax, scan the device and see if you can find an entrance of any sort."
Dax pushed a few buttons. "Scanning now."
However, the Plah D'Viz reacted with a scan of its own. A dull gray beam swept over the Excelsior. Dax shouted, "It's trying to interface with our computer system!"
Several consoles exploded as the scan overpowered several junctions. Finally, the beam terminated.
Braxton shook his fist at the Plah D'Viz. "That thing tried to kill us! Blow it up!"
Ducane sighed. "Sir?"
Braxton realized his mistake. "Oh, right. I need that thing to change my destiny."
Another beam shot out of the Plah D'Viz. Dax analyzed it. "It's some sort of holographic signal!"
A figure appeared on the bridge. It began to speak. "Greetings, travellers..."
Braxton ran over to the figure. "Hey, look! My hand can go right through this guy!" Braxton started passing his hand through the figure.
The figure looked at Braxton. "Would you please stop that?"
"Sorry." Braxton backed up a few steps.
"Anyway, I welcome you to the Plah D'Viz, our greatest creation. Here, you may reweave the fabric of time itself so that you may change your fate. Does anyone here wish to do so?"
Braxton stepped forward. "I do."
The Plah D'Viz shot out another beam, which struck Braxton directly in the chest. Sulu jumped out of his chair. "What are you doing to him?"
The figure calmly turned to Sulu. "I am not harming him. I am simply tracking this entity's past, present, and future as they exist now."
The beam ceased after a few more seconds. The figure pondered for a little while, and then a look of understanding came across his face. "I see. You are destined to become one of the greatest villains ever known..."
Braxton nodded. "Yes. Can you help me?"
"Yes, but you must first prove yourself worthy."
"Prove myself worthy? Q never mentioned anything about having to prove if I was worthy or not!"
"Do you wish to proceed or not?"
"I guess I have no choice. Proceed."
Braxton and the figure vanished in flashes of light. Sulu got back in his seat. "I guess the only thing to do now is to wait..."
Ducane nodded. "Yes, but I hope the wait isn't long. I'm sure the Happy Fun Dominion is still looking for us, and I'm sure what they have in store for us will be neither happy nor fun..."
***
Meanwhile, Weyoun 47 prepared for an important meeting. Suddenly, the doors to the bridge of his warship opened, and the Female Changeling stepped out of the turbolift.
Weyoun bowed. "Greetings, Founder. We are all at your service."
"Whatever. Have you found that Federation ship yet?"
"Not yet, Founder, but we will soon."
"That's not good enough, Weyoun. If you don't find them soon, I'll be forced to punish you."
"Punish me?"
"Yes, you'll be sent to the planet Historicus, where they show nothing but the History Channel all the time!"
"Worry not, Founder. They will be caught soon..."
***
Braxton found himself in a pitch-black chamber deep in the heart of the Plah D'Viz. He looked around, but he saw nothing. "Hello?"
His voice echoed off the walls of the chamber. In response, another figure appeared in front of Braxton. "Hello, Captain Braxton."
"Who are you?"
"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past."
"Long past?"
"With all of your time travelling? Who knows?"
"Wait a minute... The Ghost of Christmas Past? When the heck did I get stuck in 'A Christmas Carol?'"
"You're not in 'A Christmas Carol.' The Fates were supposed to be available for this episode, but they got busy with some episode of Hercules or Xena or something, so they had to call us in."
"Oh, so instead of Clotho, I get you?"
"Yup."
"Works for me. Shall we get on with this whole worthiness thing?"
"Yes, let's. In order to be found worthy of having your destiny changed, you must be made to understand your temporal loop. If you fail to understand how you will become Evil Braxton in the first place, how can you hope to avoid your fate?"
"I'll take your word for it."
The Ghost of Christmas Past waved its hand. Suddenly, Braxton and the Ghost were floating out in the middle of space. Braxton looked around. "Where are we?"
"We're currently floating outside Pluto's orbit."
"And why are we doing this?"
A few seconds later, the solar system exploded. Waves of stellar debris passed through Braxton and the Ghost. Once the explosion died down, Braxton was stunned for a few seconds at the desolation in front of him. Then he said, "That was so cool! Can we see that again?"
"No, we can't see it again! We have to get on with the story!"
"Oh. Sorry."
"Anyway, do you remember what happens next?"
"Yeah, I show up, right?"
As if on cue, the Aeon dropped out of hyperwarp and parked itself right next to the two observers. Braxton looked in the cockpit. "Hey, there I am!"
Braxton waved to himself, but the Braxton in the Aeon didn't notice. The Ghost explained. "He can't see you, Braxton. All of this is a holographic representation of your past."
"You're just no fun, you know that?"
The Ghost didn't even bother answering. The Braxton of the past proceeded to survey the remnants of the system, with Braxton and the Ghost floating after him. After a little while, the Aeon happened upon what seemed to be a piece of a starship hull. Braxton pointed at it. "I remember this too. That's a piece of Voyager's hull!"
"Yes, and assuming that the 24th Century starship was responsible for the destruction of the cradle of humanity, you went back in time to stop it."
"Yup."
"But you failed to even consider the possibility that it was travelling back in time that caused the destruction of Earth in the first place."
"Was I supposed to consider that?"
"Of course you were supposed to consider that! You were the captain of a timeship, supposedly trained in identifying such paradoxes!"
"Okay, okay... I made a mistake. I admit it."
The Ghost waved its hand again. The scene changed to the standoff between Braxton and Janeway in the 24th Century. "Do you remember this?"
"Yeah, this is where I tried to blow up Voyager."
"Was it really necessary to blow up Voyager?"
"Of course. If Voyager was destroyed, it wouldn't be able to blow up 29th Century Earth in the future."
"Wrong, Braxton. As a timeship captain, you should have been more than aware of Voyager's impact on the entire galaxy. If you had succeeded in destroying it, the effects would have been disasterous."
"Oh really? How disasterous?"
"If you had blown up Voyager in its third season, it wouldn't have been around to save the Borg from Species 8472, and the entire galaxy would have been destroyed."
"That's definitely a bad thing."
"That's not only a bad thing, Braxton, but it's a far worse thing than what you were trying to prevent in the first place..."
"You may have a point there."
"May have a point? Of course I have a point!"
***
While Braxton was busy with the Ghost of Christmas Past, Weyoun and the Female Changeling were leading a huge fleet of hot pink Happy Fun Dominion warships to where they had last encountered the Excelsior.
The Female Changeling overlayed the Excelsior's trajectory prior to its cloaking onto a star chart. "Weyoun, come here..."
Weyoun walked over to the star chart. "How may I serve you, Founder?"
"Take a look at this trajectory. Notice anything about it?"
"Uhm... It's a straight line?"
"Yes, Weyoun, it's a straight line. You couldn't figure out where they were going based on a straight line?!?!"
"I'm sorry, Founder..."
"I'm very tempted to be neither happy nor fun, Weyoun... But for now, I want you to set a course following that straight line. No Federation ship has entered our space for 500 years. This one entered for a reason, and I want to know what that reason is..."
***
Events continued to unfold inside the Plah D'Viz, as the battle between Voyager and the Aeon came to a close, sucking both ships into a temporal rift. The scene shifted yet again. This time, Braxton and the Ghost of the Christmas Past found themselves in a wooded area.
Right in front of them was the Aeon, still smoking from reentry. A figure approached the wreck. The Ghost pointed at him. "Here's where Henry Starling finds the Aeon and devises his plan to get rich by using its technology."
"Bill Gates."
"Huh?"
"It's not Henry Starling, it's Bill Gates."
"Since when?"
"Since 'No, You Can't! Yes, I Khan!' Second season."
"Hey, who's the superpowerful alien artifact that controls destiny? You or me?"
"You are."
"That's right. And I say it was Starling."
"Okay, but you're still wrong."
The scene changed again, this time to a late 20th Century urban setting. Here, a homeless old man was pushing around a shopping cart.
Braxton recognized the scene. "This is Los Angeles. Since I couldn't get the Aeon back, I was left to wander homeless for decades!"
"And this is also where your hatred of Janeway took root. But as we've seen, you had no one to blame for your predicament but yourself. In fact, it was only because of Janeway that you were rescued at all. When she broke the time loop, you were saved by an alternate younger version of yourself."
"Yeah, I was a handsome young devil, wasn't I?"
"Shut up, Braxton."
"Sorry."
The scene shifted yet again, to a futuristic room with some sort of transporter-looking device. The Ghost pointed. "Can you identify this device?"
"I think that's a temporal integrator. It combines alternate versions of the same person into one amalgam."
"This device was used on you, correct?"
"Yes."
"But something went wrong?"
"Yes."
"What?"
"The device was meant to be used on entities that were no more than a few years apart in age. I and my counterpart were decades apart. The shock of reintegration was what caused my temporal psychosis."
"But that temporal psychosis was never cured, was it?"
"Not entirely. They said I was fit enough to command again, and I was given the Relativity. But I still seem to screw up more often than not..."
"And that brings us pretty much to where this series starts, correct?"
"Close enough."
"Then it is time for me to leave you. Expect the next ghost at 2:00!"
"But it's 3:00 now..."
"Okay, expect the next ghost at 3:01..."
And so the Ghost of Christmas Past and the scene around Braxton vanished, once again leaving the ex-captain alone in the dark...
***
Next time on Star Trek: Series ?, while Braxton is busy in the Plah D'Viz, the Happy Fun Dominion fleet arrives to crush the Excelsior!
-------------------- "Kirito? I killed a thing and now it says I have XPs! Is that bad? Am I dying?"
-Asuna, Episode 2, Sword Art Online Abridged
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
I've run out of ways to say "LMAO" -- but this was very funny. I loved the "Weyoun can't follow a straight line" joke and the glimpse of Braxton checking out the destroyed solar system...
Looking forward to more!
-------------------- “Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” — Isaac Asimov Star Trek Minutiae | Memory Alpha
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
I was reading the newspaper this morning, and I made a happy discovery that "Series ?" fans will be interested in:
The Voyager daily rerun schedule (in syndication) will be broadcasting "Future's End, Part I" tonight! See our hero Captain Braxton in all his dubious glory.
"If A leads to B, and B leads to C..." "VOYAGER GO BOOM!"
-------------------- “Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” — Isaac Asimov Star Trek Minutiae | Memory Alpha
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
Braxton definitely says something to the effect of "If A leads to B, and B leads to C..." in "Future's End." "VOYAGER GO BOOM" I entirely made up.
But I definitely recommend watching "Future's End," seeing as how "Clotho" relates directly to those events.
-------------------- "Kirito? I killed a thing and now it says I have XPs! Is that bad? Am I dying?"
-Asuna, Episode 2, Sword Art Online Abridged
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
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