------------------ "That is the exploration that awaits you: Not mapping the stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknown possiblities of existence." - Q, All Good Things...
------------------ My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really.
The First One
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed
Member # 35
posted
*isn't surprised*
Scone = bready doughy pastrylike thing that you eat with jam and cream, it's the classsic British teatime snack. It has to be baked, hence the reference tho the Baker. Instead of killing two birds with one sTone - an expression even you must have heard! - he used a sCone.
It's actually a rather nonsensical joke, since the only lethal or near-lethal application of a scone in combat that I can recall came as a result of a certain young lady dousing me with cold water during a garden party. . .
Damn. . . I could really go for a scone now, I miised breakfast again. 8)
Orion Syndicate
He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
Member # 25
posted
I got the joke - it's slightly funnier than the jokes that my housemate comes out with. And it also reminds me of a previous art teacher in school - What is it with teachers and their senses of humour?
I never buy scones for myself. Breakfast for me which is usually only on Saturdays and Sundays is a bowl of Cornflakes, some orange juice and some other crap that I rustle together. The only time I've ever eaten scones was in a hotel when they came as part of the breakfast package.
posted
*grabs the drum set and bashes it over Baloo's head*
I'm the only one here who can make corny jokes like that!
Example: A group of cub scouts were out camping in the woods. The mosquitos were terrible and the scouts were being eaten alive. So they decided to go into their tents until night fell and the mosquitos went away. Sure enough, night fell, the mosquitos left, and a herd of fire flies flew in. A scout peered out of his tent and saw the fire flies. He immediately told the scout leader, "Don't look now, but the mosquitos are back and they brought flashlights!"
*bud-dum-thud*
------------------ "Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Yeah! Some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice. Whoo hoo! 'Cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love!" - Steve Miller Band's The Joker
posted
Why's everybody always picking on me? Thanks to the Pompatus Wars, I've been clobbered, cremed, and had body parts amputated. Now I get bashed by a drum set. There must be a "Kick Me" sign hanging on my rear end.
------------------ "Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Yeah! Some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice. Whoo hoo! 'Cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love!" - Steve Miller Band's The Joker
Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
Here's mine:
A boy goes up to his grandmother and asks her to make a noise like a frog. She refuses. A few minutes later, he goes up to his grandma and asks her to make a noise like a frog. She again refuses. A few minutes later, the boy goes up to his grandma, and his grandma asks "Why do you want me to make a noise like a frog?" And the boy says "Cuz my dad said that when you croak, we can go to Disneyland!!!!!"
------------------ I can resist anything....... Except Temptation
posted
Here's one of the jokes that my last year's history teacher emailed me.
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He also was quite a spiritual person. Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath. He of course became known as a Super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis!
------------------ "A fellow's invented see-through film He calls it 'cellophane!' Another has built a parachute For jumping out of an airplane!
Remarkable things flow endlessly From out the human brain! Indeed And what a remarkable age this is!" --Titanic: the Musical
posted
Keeping in with Tora Ziyal's joke, here's a song I heard on a comedy show once. I wish I could remember the comedian that wrote the song, though.
Super frantic unproductive nothing legislation, Want to improve your congressman: provide some lubrication. SNL's cannot complain of over-regulation. You voters get what you deserve: great procrastination! Super frantic unproductive nothing legislation!
------------------ "Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Yeah! Some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice. Whoo hoo! 'Cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love!" - Steve Miller Band's The Joker
posted
Anyone ever hear of the professor shooing chess contestants out of a lobby, after they were making a lot of noise bragging about their victories? His reason was that he couldn't stand "Chess Nuts boasting in an open foyer."
------------------ "That is the exploration that awaits you: Not mapping the stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknown possiblities of existence." - Q, All Good Things...
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