------------------

 

------------------
This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
~ C. Mongomery Burns
 

A joke, of course! We all know said gentleman is simply as kind as kind can be and would never harm a gnat. And now he's older than he's ever been. And now he's even older!

So let us all gather together to wish such a distinguished fellow happy birthday. Happy birthday!

(And now he's even older!)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(And now he's older still!)

On a semi-related note, I'd like to get a list of Forumite birthdays for the Behaviour Alliance, so as we can have lots of such delightful sillyness in the future. You can email me if you like.

------------------
"Just because you're floating doesn't mean you haven't drowned."
--
They Might Be Giants

 

------------------
"I will remember you...Will you remember me?
Don't let your love pass you by...Weep not for the memories..."
Sarah McLachlan

------------------
Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

------------------
"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
 

And, of course...

"Live long and prosper."

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
 

------------------
Avon: "You really do believe in taking risks, don't you?"
Tarrant: "Calculated risks."
Avon: "Calculated on what? Your fingers?"
-- Blake's Seven, Ultraworld
 

------------------
"I told you. You're dead. This is the afterlife. And I'm God."
--Q to Picard, "Tapestry".

8)

Well, I'm really surprised and gratified at this. Especially coming from Simon the Xentrick one, who I never threatened! But I never seriously expected those I (jokingly) demanded this of to do anything like this. . . Thank you all, very much.

It's been a good day. Good food, good wine, good company, so-so movie (South Park. Chosen because it was short. I had better things to do than sit in a cinema). A smattering of cheques to cash, a new Wok (and a cleaver too, the most lethal-looking kitchen implement you'll ever see).

Again, thanks. I feel really chuffed now. The pefect end to a perfect day. And we'll save it for a rainy - and steamy - weekend, OK Jubes?
 

And who are you going to use that Kitchen cleaver on, anyways?

------------------
I can resist anything.......
Except Temptation

 

------------------
"You're just about as useful as .JPGs to Helen Keller."

- Weird Al (It's All About The Pentiums)
 

Happy bday.

------------------
"Ray...the next time someone asks you if you're a god you say 'Yes!'"
-Winston Zeddmore

 

--Baloo

------------------
We are born naked, wet, and hungry.
Then it gets worse.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

*runs*
 

------------------
"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
 

///zzzzt////
Happy Birthday Lee!
Sorry I can't engage in amusing repartee as I'm only here for a few mins, and shall soon be packing for my new residence down south. Love'n'hugs and all that, and tell all those youngsters to behave until I get more permanent access in October. In the meantime relish the South park movie - which is STILL not open in Scotland..... A fact which requires immediate attention by my army of darkness.
///zzztt/////

*box opens, spilling broken glass on the floor*

///zzzt//
P.S. Handle the box with care
///zzt///

------------------
Oh Mr Rasberry, so sharp your juices!

------------------
Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

------------------
"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
 

------------------
"Why can we never meet anyone nice?"
"Why can we never meet anyone who can shoot straight?"
-Lister and the cat
 

I should be getting the same thing, or close enough to it, on my birthday. (Not that I don't recieve such on a regular basis, but this time will be special.) 37 days and counting.

------------------
"We shall not yield to you, nor to any man." -- Freak, The Mighty.

 

Wait a minute, it is fixed...

------------------
Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")

[This message has been edited by Elim Garak (edited September 08, 1999).]
 

------------------
"Just because you're floating doesn't mean you haven't drowned."
--
They Might Be Giants

 

Besides, I tried being subtle, and Lee didn't seem to understand, so I had to be a bit more blatant.
The SexGoddess must do her job, after all...

------------------
"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
 

------------------
"Why can we never meet anyone nice?"
"Why can we never meet anyone who can shoot straight?"
-Lister and the cat

 

------------------
"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
 

I've been off getting my going-back-to-college things sorted out the past few days, and haven't had time to read a thing here.

So I hope you enjoyed your birthday, and got pissed, and had sex (Jubes doesn't count, at least until that cheque clears)

What do you mean I'm not being enough of a sycophant? Look Lee, I'm doing the best I can, and besides there is no way that thing is going to fit up my ass...look at what?...aaaa-aaah...*faints in pain*

------------------
The unexplained phenomenon that crippled the U.S.S. Unimpeachable --
Gaseous Anomaly...
What anomalises gaseously.

I'd just like to ask, how will these spanks be delivered? Speed and style?

------------------
"Why can we never meet anyone nice?"
"Why can we never meet anyone who can shoot straight?"
-Lister and the cat

 

------------------
"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
 

------------------
"Why can we never meet anyone nice?"
"Why can we never meet anyone who can shoot straight?"
-Lister and the cat

 

Ah, shuddap and apologize! T'aint funny, McGee!

------------------
Life is unfair. Deal with it.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

------------------
"If you will not have me as myself, Perhaps as someone else. Perhaps as you, I'll be worth noticing. Then even a eunuch won't resist, The power of one kiss, from such as me.
I'll be that girl: and you would be right over. If I were a field, you would be in clover. If I were the sun, you would be in shadow. If I had a gun, there'd be no tomorrow."
~ Barenaked Ladies
 

------------------
"She's never letting me forget, I've always been an idiot"
-The Verve Pipe

 

Also, maybe the sequel "Outrageous Sexual Claims: A how-to guide". Just for research purposes, of course.

------------------
"Recombination, then Viacom; Safeway."
--
Soul Coughing