posted
Now, it may seem to you that Charles is avoiding answering the question. The question being, "how old are you". Now, there is a very good reason for this. And for the first time, I can reveal it.
Charles is actually a very advanced animatronic puppet, created by Simon and Frank, to pass the time while they waited for the swelling to go down. Charles has no more "lived" than a table has "lived". No, it's all a big joke by Sol and Frank to screw with our minds. The beard was added when, one day, during a particularly heavy accordian session, Frank's instrument flew out of his hand and smashed poor puppet-Charles in the face. They had to cover the damage some how, and, being the lazy sods they are, they just went into the shower and grabbed some hair from the plug-hole. The hair was applied using love, and Sol's home produced sticky-stuff (TM).
Jubes was obviously added to avoid suspicion. TSN, jealous of all over men everywhere for "getting it on", deceided to make his own female puppet. He did plan to marry her, but one morning, when he awoke, he found that poor puppet-Jubes had gone, and only the smell of curry remained. Shorty after, puppet-Jubes ended up at Sol's house. Simon opened the door to get her, and inadvertantly ran her through. He eventually managed to pick her up by walking backwards, but his enormous trousers got caught on a nail, and he went flying. Puppet-Jubes landed on puppet-Charles, and Simon, recognising the true love in their blank, souless eyes, couldn't bring himself to seperate them.
And that is how watches are made.
------------------ "I am in one of those rare periods of life where I am convinced I am a sexy devil."- Simon "Sol System" Sizer
posted
No! Animatronic puppet. Not robot. If I'd have meant robot I'd have said robot. But I didn't. I said "animatronic puppet". Which, you'll notice, is different from saying "robot". They are different words.
No wonder you lot found the ballots so confusing.
------------------ "I am in one of those rare periods of life where I am convinced I am a sexy devil."- Simon "Sol System" Sizer
posted
Yeah, the Female Animatronic Puppet mark I (dubbed "Jubilee") was a bit defective. It started removing its clothing randomly w/ an alarming frequency, even when such action was inappropriate. That's why I had to create the Female Animatronic Puppet mark II (dubbed "LOA"). The only problem w/ that one was a warped theology circuit. The blueprints have gone missing, and I fear Omega has taken them. If this is so, we can expect to soon see an army of Liz clones serving Omega as their irrational lord and master. Be afraid...
I'm currently working on the Female Animatronic Puppet mark III. Work is progressing slowly. So far, all I have are the important bits. Not much for a night out. But a night in... That's another story entirely...
------------------ "What he did to that walrus gentle-man was inexcusable." -T. Herman Zweibel on "Mr. Woodrow Wood-pecker", The Onion, 7-Nov-2000
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