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Ravens

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Hardly what I'd call a plus.

I spent a week in port deposit Maryland, back in the seventies. We were in a trailer court, setting on top of the only hill for miles around. Port Deposit flooded during that week, and my brother-in-law's navy buddies startd calling it Port Demolished. Closest I've been to Baltimore.

Don't know who they are. Don't care.

"and the National Aquarium"

Ooh, an aquarium. I must book my holiday now!

" and Johns Hopkins University, as well as Towson University, Loyola University,"

I am suspicious of places that have multiple universities. Liverpool has 3. One is a real university. One is where the people too stupid to go to the real one go. The other is basically there to provide spare human organs incase we go to war.

"Women's College of Notre Dame, Morgan State, UMBC,"

There's a college, for women, dedicated to studying a French Building? Woo.

"and the USS Constellation."

The USS CONsteLIATion HAS tHe QuAnTum TOrPZ! And The BoRg fukEr PhaZoRZ!

"We've also got the best crabs (as in, you know, the food) in the nation."

You anticipated my joke. Bastard.

Still, wow. You have the best crabs. LOOK AT MY EXCITED FACE!

"We're rated #1 in the U.S. for meeting singles -- although we probably owe that a lot to our proximity to Washington, D.C. (half an hour away)."

So you have a city full of prositutes and people who can't commit to a relationship? That's good.

"We're the birthplace of Babe Ruth,"

OMG! I've just discovered I can scratch my chin with my foot!

"and in 1939, it was here that the Jewish community protested the shore leave of a German warship."

Possibly the single biggest thing that ever happened in World War II. Ever.

"We've been seen in The X-Files,"

So has an awful lot of shit.

"featured proudly in Homicide,"

You've been featured proudly in a show about murder? Again, that really sells the place to me.

"and immortalized in films like "Diner.""

And who here hasn't seen that classic movie?

"We're famous as the place where people say "hon.""

No, you're not.

"Tom Clancy has not only set scenes of books in Baltimore, but even in my own neighborhood."

My dear god, I'm so jealous! London never appears in anything.

So, to sum up, you live in a scity overrun by prostitutes and murderers, where everyone has mutiple STD's, and you're full of students?