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» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Community » Officers' Lounge » How to be a porn star in two easy steps (Page 1)

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Author Topic: How to be a porn star in two easy steps
PsyLiam
Hungry for you
Member # 73

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First, take the name of one of your pets, and that becomes your first name.
Then, take your middle name, and use it as your surname.

(I don't have a middle name, so I'll use my brothers).

My porn name is therefore Tina Kerrie.

Now all you have to do is grow an 80s pron moustache, and Bob is literally your agent.

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"Fool! I am Cher! Admired by millions for my couple of talents."
-The Brain


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Xentrick
good to go
Member # 64

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Call me a prude, but I can't get hot at the idea of a porn star named Tina who has a moustache, or am I reading this wrong?


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Siegfried
Fullmetal Pompatus
Member # 29

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Liam? Tina Kerrie?

Too bad we don't do interrogation threads anymore (by order of the Capps) or else this could jump start a whole new set.

Liam, also keep in mind that you have to be, well, er, um, well-endowed to make it big (yes, I intended the pun).

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"Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Yeah! Some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me Maurice. Whoo hoo! 'Cause I speak of the Pompatus of Love!" - Steve Miller Band's The Joker


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TSN
I'm... from Earth.
Member # 31

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I always heard it as you use your mother's maiden name for the last name. But maybe we just do things differently in the States... *L*

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"They gave the ferret a teleprompter!"
-Louie the Lizard, Budweiser commercial


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Jubilee
...complete with cherries!
Member # 99

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Hmmm...... Pepper Lynne ...

what do you guys think?

------------------
"Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned"



Registered: Apr 1999  |  IP: Logged
Jay the Obscure
Liker Of Jazz
Member # 19

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So, Peanut Carlyle reporting to stage 4 for, um, duty.

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For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius!


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

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I last did this with the maiden name version, but here, for posterity, are both versions.

Smokey Stromme

Or...

Smokey Wales

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"And give me back my evil heart so I can see you as you are."
--
John Linnell


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

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Boy, it's a good thing I didn't go with my mother's dog Princess, isn't it?

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"And give me back my evil heart so I can see you as you are."
--
John Linnell


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
The First One
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed
Member # 35

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No NO NO NO NO!!!

It's your mother's maiden name, not your middle name! And technically it has to be your FIRST pet ever.

Now ALL of you go away, and don't come back until you can do it properly!


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Jay the Obscure
Liker Of Jazz
Member # 19

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I thought the mother's maiden name thing was for the cross dresser name. But what do I know.

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For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius!


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
RW
Senior Member
Member # 27

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I don't have a middle name. Too bad. Anyway, these are the simple steps to become a female pornstar

1 make sure you have big knockers

2 make sure you get implants to make them look even bigger.

3 shave

To be a male pornstar:

1 have 6 inches or more

2 grow a ponytail

3 eat lots of proteins


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Kosh
Perpetual Member
Member # 167

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Manfred Man Walker!

Manfred was the first pet I got to pick out. Dad wanted a hunting dog, and manfred looked like the worst choise, but Dad let me pick, I was about five, and manfred became a legend at jumping Rabits.

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WHO ARE YOU


Registered: Jun 1999  |  IP: Logged
First of Two
Better than you
Member # 16

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ERr, yes.

Let's see.

My Middle name is "Allison"... that's out.
My first pet was a cat named "Mom"... that's out.
My only male dog's name is "General."
My mother's maiden name is "Hawker."

"General Hawker???"

Sounds like a name in a Leslie Nielsen movie.

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"When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"


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Baloo
Curmudgeon-in-Chief
Member # 5

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*Hhhhhhwwwwwwwwccccccck, Ptui!*

OTOH, "Mom Allison"? Hmmm... Might appeal to some fetishists, but it's not for me.

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"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
--David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Jubilee
...complete with cherries!
Member # 99

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Snookums McCormick?

Hmmmmm...

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Berkoff: "He's threatening to kill me. What should I do?"
Michael: "Don't let him."
- La Femme Nikita


Registered: Apr 1999  |  IP: Logged
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