posted
If I decide to cast my lot with yours on your climb to despotism, what do you intend to do about gum crackers, junk mail, and oh - my weasel landlord? I was going to mention my pet peeve - theater morons - but Xentrick beat me to it. Suggest Monty's Acme EM Pulse Generator be mass produced and made easily affordable; it should also work on high decibel boom boxes.
------------------ "'I'm afraid there's nowhere for you to sit,' I said coldly; 'the verandah is full of goats.'" --Saki "The Guests"
I will add to the theatre statutes that anyone who brings a child under 2 to ANY movie, shall have to stand by after the movie while everyone disturbed by the child's crying, screaming, barfing, etc. punches them.
No mail addressed "occupant" or "current resident" will be accepted at the post office.
It will also be an offense to pass stopped traffic on the shoulder. Violators will be responsible for damage to any cars which get in their way.
Playing your car stereo so loud that it shakes windows of people's houses will be grounds for summary execution.
Importing illegal drugs by private plane will no longer result in forced landings, but in being shot down. Private boats attempting to bring in drugs may be sunk.
Criminals will be treated with the precise degree of mercy they showed to their victims. Sadistic criminals will recieve sadistic treatment.
HMO's will be forbidden to override treatments or prescriptions if they are reccommended by more than one doctor.
People who make bad remakes of Japanese children's shows and try to pawn them off on our puplic (The Power-less Rangers, etc) will be deported to North Korea.
------------------ You're just JEALOUS because the little voices talk to ME!
posted
Why not just blow the whole damn planet up? It's lost most of the novelty.
------------------ "You can't catch me where I'm gonna fall. You can't catch me where I'll hide. This world's too cold, this Nova rolls. I'm moving to the sun." -- They Might Be Giants
posted
I don't see it as losing an arm so much as removing a tumor.
------------------ "You can't catch me where I'm gonna fall. You can't catch me where I'll hide. This world's too cold, this Nova rolls. I'm moving to the sun." -- They Might Be Giants
posted
Okay, good enough for income taxes... but what about property tax? You know, the money we pay so we can continue to live on the land we bought in the house we paid for?
*thought most recognized religions are supposed to enjoy some order of tax-exempt status*
------------------ You're just JEALOUS because the little voices talk to ME!
posted
My church owns his house(our parsonage). It is a luxury we provide for him. We do it because we feel we should (there is a verse we base this on), but as far as his income goes, it's the same. Pastors aren't the only professions with a house provided either. We pay the taxes on his house, but that comes out of our budget. If we didn't have a place for him then we'd end up paying him more, too.
------------------ 2 FINALS REMAINING! College is taken care of, summer job; check, now if I could get that girl back to her old self.
posted
Well, there was that whole constitution thing...
------------------ "You can't catch me where I'm gonna fall. You can't catch me where I'll hide. This world's too cold, this Nova rolls. I'm moving to the sun." -- They Might Be Giants
posted
I get the feeling Sol wants to make a fresh start with Mars.
This seems the appropriate thread to remind everyone of my constantly-advancing research into Dr Monty's Bascillus. which when released into the atmosphere will make all women beautiful and destroy all men over 5'9".
First can still be dictator, so long as he doesn't stand up.
------------------ "Now then, I believe Random Pavarotti disease is a psychological ailment and we should find it in the otherworldliness of Vince's brain." "Ohw, rubbish. I reckon Random Pavarotti disease is a physical condition...... Let's go and look at 'is bum!"
posted
Careful Bryce, if we go back too far they'll be throwing you in with lions again.
Of course, you got even for that with the Inquisition and Salem, right?
I was talking about going back to Constitutional times. Not before, as the systems of government that predated the Constitution were in conflict and not nearly as well done.
You know, when this country was founded less than 5% of people belonged to any organized church.
*has infiltrated Monty's project and obtained the vaccine. Is keeping it all for himself.*
------------------ You're just JEALOUS because the little voices talk to ME!