posted
What bugs you most about the opposite sex? The purpose of this thread (until it spind out of control and The_Tom has to come in and whack us all with a tool of discipline ) is to allow anyone to post something about the opposite sex that really turns your crank backwards. The rules are few:
The question/gripe must be phrased as if you were talking to the person(s) who perform the described behavior, even if they don't post here.
Stay civil. Don't post anything that you are not genuinely angry/confused/whatever about, and don't get nasty about your question, nor any replies.
After a gripe has been posted, the next three replies may only be made by persons of the opposite sex to the questioner. The reply may be either a rebuttal or an explaination (or both). If you think you've been guilty of the described behavior, answer quick!
Keep in mind that "Well, you're just an idiot!" is not considered a logical refutation of anyone's position.
I will begin:
I hate it when something's bugging you, but you won't tell me what it is when I ask. "If you cared, you'd know." I care, but psionic ability has never been my strong suit.
It seems that when you don't tell me what's wrong when I ask, you are saying "I don't care about you enough to let you know what you could be doing to strengthen our relationship. I would rather keep you in suspense because it gives me a sense of power over you. I don't care about your feelings -- only mine."
Just in case you don't know me, I am a heterosexual male. The next three answers should come from females. After that, I suppose it's a matter of who manages to ask the next question.
What turns my thermo up even more than that is when you tell someone to back off, and she won't.
This is not a matter of saying 'leave me alone', but could basically translate to 'If a male had driven me this far I'd be beating his head in with a big stick by now'. So I wonder, why don't they?
------------------ "Diplomacy is the art of Internationalising an issue to your advantage"
posted
I have no gripes with the opposite sex whatsoever. I broke up with my girlfriend, not because of anything a female does, but it was instead character flaws in both of us individually.
*sigh*
------------------ "I do whatever the voice of Charles Capps tells me to do."
posted
OKay... You men should understand this more than you do. When somethings bugging YOU, you tell us to back off because you have to think it through, or whatever before you say anything, right?
Well, sometimes women are being bothered but there's really no reason they know, so they are trying to think why on earth they are upset.... and sometimes things you guys do bother us, but we know that we're being bothered for stupid things like when you leave the seat up, and that we shouldn't be angry, so we're just staying away from people to get over it quietly. *L*
Usually, when you get the "If you cared, you'd know", it means that we are angry at YOU. Now, sometimes we don't even know WHY we're angry at you.. and sometimes it's just something about you that we know is never going to change, and we've decided to live with anyway. I seem to recall Baloo at one point saying that love is knowing every single fault about your partner and loving them anyway. Well, we love you and accept that these are your faults....but that doesn't mean we can't get angry about them every once in a while. ..
My tips: .... Don't say "What did I do?" .. because your woman is going to either laugh at you are WHACK you very hard for not knowing what she thinks is SO OBVIOUSLY a problem. The best thing to say is "If it's anything i've done, I'm sorry.... and i'm here to talk about it if you need me." . ...
This lets the woman know that you would like to be forgiven for being a big dumb male (which you are, on occasion.. *LOL*) and also lets the woman know that she CAN talk to you about that annoying habit of leaving the seat up without fear of being laughed and or yelled at.
(of course, this is just MY take on it.... obviously not all women are the same. *LOL*)
------------------ "Angels, answer me, are you near if rain should fall? Am I to believe you will rise to calm the storm? For so great a treasure words will never do. Surely, if this is, promises are mine to give you. mine to give........ " ~ Enya
posted
Now i'm going to post one, since I answered the last one and not too many females even go here. *L*
I'm just going to get this off my chest because it really bothers me... but i'm really not looking for a response because I'm not sure there is one.
It hurts very much to know that you schedule no specfic time in your life for me. It hurts to know that In your daily schedule I don't even get a half hour of your time laid aside for me... and I can understand that you're busy with things you need to get done. So am I. But I set aside a certain time to just talk to you, and it would be nice to know that you want to talk to me so much that you've blocked time out to do so... It makes me feel important when you stop everything you're doing to be with me.
And while we're on the topic, if you wanted to be with me so bad, you'd be doing anything in your power to see me... including things you don't want to do. Do you know how very upset it makes me when you say that certain jobs are demeaning and beneath you and that you wouldn't sacrifice your pride just for me? .... okay, I'm not sure I want to be with a man that has no pride... but you're missing the point.. any job that you put your mind to and TAKE pride in is a good job, and you don't have to sacrifice your pride at all. I'm a cashier in a grocery store, working more hours than I should and getting paid in peanuts...... We all know that I have more talent than that, and that I could be doing many other things. Perhaps being a grocery store clerk is beneath me. Perhaps it is demeaning. But I take pride in it, and i've almost gotten to the point where I like my job. So when you say that those jobs are demeaning... it makes me wonder if you think I have no pride. And it makes me wonder if we'll ever get anywhere at all... if you won't do a few things you don't like to have the end prize of me. Aren't i worth it? .. I mean, seriously, i'm begining to wonder about this one..... aren't I worth it? ...
------------------ "Angels, answer me, are you near if rain should fall? Am I to believe you will rise to calm the storm? For so great a treasure words will never do. Surely, if this is, promises are mine to give you. mine to give........ " ~ Enya
posted
One of my favorite people in the world presented me with his opinion on life not long ago, and I VERY much agree with it:
"Women are inherantly evil and men are inherantly stupid"
Just thought I'd share that with ya!
~LOA
------------------ "Show us the lost and dying world Remove the scales from our eyes And as we go through all the earth May our hearts weep for our lives..." FOM '99
posted
Why were you flirting with me in the first place? You knew you had other obligations, you knew that there could never really be anything between us...
Why did you lead me on? Didn't you realize that I wasn't playing games with you? I openly admitted how much I liked you, did it cross your mind once that maybe you were trifling with my feelings?
Everything you did pointed me, or so I thought, in the direction of the idea that you were actually interested me...those playful looks across the room, all those highly suggestive ICQ messages while we sat at opposite parts of the office floor, and then finally your pile of clothes on my bedroom floor, you can't possibly be telling me I took these things the wrong way...?
How dare you tell me that you were only kidding, that the whole time you thought we were just messing around, that you thought it was all a big joke? If all you ever wanted was a friend, why the hell did you not tell me? I regretted not holding to my faith and not waiting till I was married, but I never regretted until now that it had been with you.
Yes, I'm a little bit bitter, and more confused by men than ever.
posted
That's pretty bad Bitter. You fell into the Sexual Predator Pit. Don't feel alone, whooly mammoths were tricked in simular ways. There really isn't any justification for that behaivor. The lot of us ought to go to where you work and lynch mob this fellow. Who's for a hangin'!
Seems to be a common practice. Good girl hooks up with bad boy. Good boy hooks up with bad girl. If only the good boys could manage to hook up with the good girls.
------------------ "What is that? A tank?" --Our Lord and Savior David Koresh, the Second Coming snuffed out before He could any good.
posted
Well, it's kinda hard to follow those rules, Baloo, but I just wanted to comment on this.
quote:It seems that when you don't tell me what's wrong when I ask, you are saying "I don't care about you enough to let you know what you could be doing to strengthen our relationship. I would rather keep you in suspense because it gives me a sense of power over you. I don't care about your feelings -- only mine."
I do this sometimes. Okay, a lot. But when I do, I'm sorta in withdrawal. When it does happen, and even though I SAY I won't tell what's wrong, I still WANT the guy or whoever's there to know. So what it takes, Baloo, is a bit of prying. If you ask her what's wrong enough times, she'll probably tell you and feel better herself. But if you give up and leave her be, she'd probably get even more upset and think that you don't care about her enough to ask. Trust me on this.
------------------ "I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Picard to Data, "In Theory"
posted
LOA is close. As a friend of mine put it: "I've got this whole sex difference thing boiled down to this: Men are stupid and women are crazy."
I have the luxury of being able to look back on the debris of a number of relationships, each one I learned something from.
#1 Date exclusively. Someone seeing two other people may not choose you, even if you ARE the best choice.
#2 Sex and Star Trek alone are not enough to base a relationship on, no matter how good it seems.
#3 Never become emotionally involved with someone who was planning to enter a convent (or seminary) before they met you.
#4 Never get involved just to keep from being alone.
#5 If it sometimes seems that you're being used, you probably are. If you're dating a college dropout with $4000 in credit card bills and no job, who's not even LOOKING for a job, you're being used.
------------------ "When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"
Dani
Naboo Handmaiden Ex-Part-Time Admin
Member # 57
posted
Here's another topic for debate: What actually makes a "good boy" or a "nice girl"?
I like to think of myself as a "nice girl" but I'm surely not an angel. I'm not perfect, nor will I ever claim to be. If I say I'll never hurt you, I'm lying. I'm sure someday, maybe not even meaning to, I will. It's true...it may not be a huge hurtful thing I'll do, but there's no denying during of the course of a relationship that reconcilliation will be necessary at some point along the way.
All I really want is love, compassion, understanding, and a good venue of communication...I want to wake up every morning next to the man of my dreams and always think fondly of the good times we've had, while the bad ones in comparison just melt away. Is that too much to ask for?
posted
Dani, I feel pretty much the same way. With the exception of that waking up next to a man everyday thing.
------------------ Josh: I think they're getting to know each other a bit too well, if you catch my drift. Me: Oh, I agree. I think they're spending too much time together, that is of course, if you catch my drift. Asher: I think he's *ucking her, and he's cheating on his wife, and he's risking his marriage, and if his wife finds out about it she'll leave him and take their son, and his life will be ruined. If you catch my drift...
) is to allow anyone to post something about the opposite sex that really turns your crank backwards. The rules are few:
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