1. Nostradamus was the world's greatest prognosticator.

2. Nostradamus encoded his predicions in such a way as to prevent the powers that be from accusing him of dealing with the devil.

I hereby declare myself an even greater prognosticator than Nostradamus. My proof?

Have a look at the predicion below:

1qaz2 wsx3e dc4rf
v5tgb 6yhn7 ujm8i
k9ol0 poiuj mko0n
ji90h yu76t gbvcd
erfsw gazqw ht4ws

What? Can't read it? Well don't worry. It's really accurate & specific.

If you can crack the code.

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Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/8641/

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"I came upon a wedding, good old families had contribed.
Bethlaham the bride-groom, Babylon the bride.
Great Babylon was naked, ah she stood there trembling for me.
And Bethlaham enflamed us both, like a shy one at some orgy.
And when we fell together, all our flesh was like a veil.
But I had to draw aside to see the serpent eat its tail.
Some women wait for Jesus, and some women wait for Cain.
So I hang upon my alter, and I hoist my axe again.
And I take the one that finds me back to where it all began.
When Jesus was the honeymoon, and Cain was just a man.
And we read from pleasant Bibles, that are bound in blood and skin,
But the wilderness is gathering all its children back again."
excerpt from the song "Last Year's Man"
By Leonard Cohen.

1-014
The Dragon will assault the Kangaroo.
The Eagle will Swallow the Maple Leaf.
The Unicorn will divorce the Bulldog.
One Ring will rule them all.

2-33-7
Four birds shall swallow strychnine.
They shall not spit it up,
The city of the dead will rise,
And behold the Sasquatch.

7-2041
I sing the hypotenuse
Sweeping square of other sides!
For bold Unicorn's Son
Shall devour half the Moon!

9-205
Helpful stellar Bandersnatches
Land in a Bath,
Give grace to fading suns,
Eat only pears and pomegranetes.

You may now puzzle over these.

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"Okay! No more mister knive guy!"

- Jim West, Wild Wild West

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Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read. Groucho Marx

or don't.

depends on how you read the portents and bird entrails. As a recognized expert in Baloology (and the associated field of Tomfoolery), I'd say it's clear sailing from here on out.

Oh, if you need to reach me, I'll be at my mountain top retreat until the foretold Day of Adjudication.

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"You're just about as useful as .JPGs to Helen Keller."

I already have the ring, though.
Or, that is to say, I am the ring, or a part of it.