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{Scene: Voyager and SCSI's ship appear out of warp at the Borg Plexis, though it's not Borg anymore ...} {Music: A modified Borg March played on an organ ...}
SCSI: When I left this morning I distinctly told them to get rid of all that green stuff. I want thinks pitch black. And those paltry cubes, I thought they were all supposed to be scraped. SCSI Minion #2: Sire, three more SCSIncinerators are coming out of warp. They will join us {Cut Scene with three huge Retangular ships appearing, all with the "SCSI" red lettering} SCSI: Where is Chakotay now? SCSI Minion #1: We have a visual. SCSI: On Screen {Scene with Neelix screaming as Chakotay fires at him, in space} SCSI: Why, the little idiot is trying to destroy everything again. By causing that ressonance cascade, the reality in which Voyager never went to the Bad Lands will happen. Voyager being here is pivotal to my stance today. {Camera starts shaking violently again} [Burrr..]
This time he will be destroyed. Back to the great barrier, warp 9.
.....
------------------ -Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor
Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.
"Woman is deprived of rights from lack of education, and the lack of education results from the absence of rights. We must not forget that the subjection of women is so complete, and dates from such distant ages, that we are often unwilling to recognize the gulf that separates them from us."
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(scene back at rift, scsi ships destroy neelix) Torres: "No...not Neelix...anyone but Neelix!" Chakotay: "Shutup, your're really starting to annoy me." Paris: "I can't shake these computer enhanced ships, your highnessness." Chakotay: "Anyone familiar with Jem'hadar suicide tactics? We have a few shuttles to spare, if you know what I mean." (back on main scsi ship) Scsi Minion #2: "Sir, one of the shuttles is on a direct intercept course...I cant avoid it...5 seconds to impact." (shuttle collides with scsi ship, shuttle explodes, no damage whatsoever to scsi ship) Chakotay: "Ummmm...." Paris: "Sir there's another starship coming in...It's the Enterprise!" (klingon drums sound in the background) Worf: (was there the whole time) "Perhaps today is a good day to die" (on enterprise) Picard: "I am about to commit a direct violation of every single law that the federation has in existence." Riker: "Prepare for multi-vector assault mode...." Data: "But we don't have a multiple sections of the ship to adequetely..." Picard: "I dont care, make it so...
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(scene outside: the Enterprise-E dissolves into the USS Prometheus, thanks to the external holo-emitters)
Picard: Remind me to thank Vice-Admiral Colorge for assigning us to the Prometheus while he's on a vacation in Risa. Riker: Damn, I wish I were on Risa right now... Data: You fathead! You have Troi! Riker: Have you ever tried to get her into bed? Her and all her psycho-babble crap. Worf: And what about how she tries to analyze everything you say? When you ask if she'd like to be on top, it doesn't mean I'm not insecure about my performance. Picard: I'd like to hear more on this, BUT WE HAVE A RIFT TO REPAIR!!! QUICK, SEND WESLEY CRUSHER IN A SHUTTLE AND HAVE HIM DESTROY CHAKOTAY!!!!!!! Data: Bridge to Sickbay.. Beverly: Crusher here Data: Is the boy ready? Beverly: He's on his way to Shuttlebay 2 now. Data: Doctor, we have a Shuttlebay 2? Beverly: Nope, we have one only, except someone made an error on the...diagram. Picard: Beverly, I hope that the 121,000 IsoTon Tri-Cobalt Device in Wesley is ready? Beverly: It is. Too bad he doesn't know about it... Picard: There are plenty of Wesleys left in the Federation... Riker: Captain, the Type 10 shuttle carrying the boy is leaving the shuttlebay. Picard: Good, pop the champagne. Not the replicated stuff, I can tell it's crap.
------------------ The world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start my love And if you're strong enough, together we can take the world apart my love
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{Back on Voyager Bridge ...} {View screen set on Wesley's shuttle}
SCSI: What the heck is that? SCSI Minion #2: A type 10 Federation shuttle, sir, carrying heavy explosives.
{Shuttle nudges into the rift, explodes, sucking in Chakotay's ships, Voyager, Prometheus, and the SCSI ships}
{Rift opens again and spits ships back out, in front of Earth ...} {Enterprise A, attached on a string, comes into view} SCSI Minion #2: We're being haled SCSI: On screen .. Pike: This is Captain Pike of the Enterprise ...
....
------------------ -Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor
Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.
"Woman is deprived of rights from lack of education, and the lack of education results from the absence of rights. We must not forget that the subjection of women is so complete, and dates from such distant ages, that we are often unwilling to recognize the gulf that separates them from us."
Setting: Prometheus, the Other Side of the Rift, somewhere unknown. Riker: "My God, we survived." Picard: "Of Course, number one. We're still the cash cow of this franchise. What's that buzzing sound?" {rift appears in space} {every kind of siren in existence blares} Voice: {gruff} "Okay you kids, stop screwin' around! Yer screwin' around too much!" Worf: "Uh-oh." Voice: {in a different tone entirely} "Respect mah authoritaah!!" Picard: "Who the devil is THAT? On screen!" {screen blurs, and reforms as... well... me.} Riker: "Oh, God, JUST what we DIDN'T need. It's First of Two! Man of a million voices, and nine distinct personalities!" Data: "First of Two is emanating energies. He appears to have become a member of the Q continuum." Picard: {Slaps Riker} "I TOLD you, you should have taken that job offer!" Riker: "Data, you mean... he's..." Data: "Yes, sir, it's First of Q!" Worf: "%$#@. the power of the Q, contained in a being even more insane than the Q we know. Permission to go the hell home, sir." First of Q: "Okay, now like Elmer Fudd! 'I'm dwivin in my caw... tuwn on da wadio...'" Picard: "Belay that, Mister Worf! Perhaps we can turn this to our advantage. I mean, this plot's insane enough already, how can it hurt?" First of Q: "Like this." {a small anvil appears 1.5 meters over Picards head, falls. **KLANNNNG!**} Picard: "Oww! Geezus!" Data: "It is inadvisable to inquire along those parameters when a being of such magnitude is within the range of psionicaly audible transmission, sir." Picard: "Huh?" {a turbolift door opens, revealing Kosh} Kosh: "He said, 'Never Ask That Question.'" {turbolift door closes} Riker: "Oh." Worf: "Captain, something's happening..." Picard: "Now what?!?" ...
------------------ "Nobody knows this, but I'm scared all the time... of what I might do, if I ever let go." -- Michael Garibaldi
[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited August 15, 2000).]
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Pike: "You must withdraw your forces immediately or be forced to suffer the condequences." (back on scsi ship) Scsi: "Eliminate them as well." Scsi Minion #2: "The ship has been destroyed, sir." Scsi: "Very well, I believe that our problems are now over." (suddenly, an ice weasel named Hopscotch beams onto the scsi ship) Hopscotch: "You thought everything was over. I have come to tell you that the journey has only begun. You have now entered another dimension from which all hell breaks loose." Scsi: "What?" Hopscotch: "You have entered a world not of sight nor sound but of mind. I am but a messenger. The worst is yet to come. There are two battling forces in this realm, and you must choose sides before being caught up in the forces that bind us all." Scsi: "Um...."
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SCSI, looking out viewer screen at Earth: What the .... {Earth begins to fade. Stars around become fainter and fainter, suddenly the ship surrounded by blackness} {Two giant, white retangles appear, with ball} {Retangles hit ball back and forth} SCSI: Oh ... God ... NO! Hopscotch: Choose a side. SCSI: We're trapped in PONG! SCSI Minion #2: It is your scripture, sir, that documents the end of our race when a furry being comes along and traps us in a 1970's invention. I'm afraid we can do nothing ... SCSI: Noooo! {Swings phaser rifle into trophy case} {Back at the Enterprise} Worf: Sir, the rift is opening again. Picard: What the .... {Picture of Earth hurling out of the hole} Worf: I suggest we move sir to avoid being hit by the planet Picard: Make it so ... {Enterprise moves just as Earth swooshes by} {Q appears} Q: The Alpha Quadrant no longer exists. You're the last human beings alive. Go find something to colonize. {Q disappears}
.....
------------------ -Small Computer Systems Interface "Scuzzy" Emperor
Operator of the Goulag Hotel, maintainer of the workhouses.
"Woman is deprived of rights from lack of education, and the lack of education results from the absence of rights. We must not forget that the subjection of women is so complete, and dates from such distant ages, that we are often unwilling to recognize the gulf that separates them from us."
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(Q returns with his wife) Female Q: WHAT DID I TELL YOU? NO MORE PLAYING WITH THE FEDERATION! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TAKEN OUR SON YET TO PLAY BALL IN THE KILBATI SYSTEM. Q: But dear... I was just doing this for old times sake... Q Female: The last time you did it for "old times sake, " you nearly made a baby with JANEWAY!!! Q: Yes, but there wasn't going to be any sex. Picard: You you two like to be alone? Q Female: Yes...
------------------ The world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start my love And if you're strong enough, together we can take the world apart my love
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