There once was sex. Everyone liked it. Then Jeff Kardde, God, Roma Downey, and Po traveled backwards in formation towards Pittsburgh. First of Two ejaculated when Simon beat himself with a plastic, battery-powered toothbrush. Suddenly, extra-terrestrials exploded. No longer organs, gonads, and breasts (as a sexual component) lacking, the flight overseas was infinitesimally delayed by monks. Indefatigable Horatio Hornblower dropped his cat sexually on Captain Kirk's toup�e-fencing prostitute. Yeoman Rand received a vibrator for Sulu but not before he used lubricant. Po slammed his head against First of Two because he enjoyed kinky spelunking. Especially during Star Trek: Insurrection and Late Night Confessions, The 700 Club, but he doesn't masturbate with Tarkalean lubricants. That's Simon's nude potato toy. It slipped off his large ass. Meanwhile, Brannon Braga and Rick Berman vigorously masturbated, looking gay, like Trent Lott-hating Terellian's penises. Pitsburgh's sexiness was bleak, so to improve orgasms, the Steelers banged their cheerleaders mightily. Achieving sexuality hitherto unimaginable, Siegfried proudly prematurely outed Travis Mayweather. Omega kicked himself in desperation because he wanted multitronic teledildonics. So, Liz decided to ease Omega's pain and lust by erasing her offering of kinky electronic technology. Instead, she offered to placate him by replacing his electronic fantasies with the real thing™. However, Liz exploded. Distraught, Omega flung deer at George W. Bush. "Why did she explode? Why!?" "Because it's logical." Bush nuked Texas, played strip-poker, and boinked, before his secretary Susan Ivanova castrated him. "Ducks fly. Eagles fly. Emus taste good. Charles Capps doesn't taste like fried dog anymore," concluded Miss Cleo, who liked eating raw dog meat. The doodookaka on Rush Limbaugh's shoehorn smells fruity. Retroactively, Vogon Poet intercepted email from Jesus H. Christ stating "You are fucked." Then Eric Chow stripped Omega's skin so he screamed with pleasure. Meanwhile, the USS Baltimore had deer blood for breakfast. MIB stinks. In Atlantis rests Excalibur. The Scottish milita burned methane-smelling copies of Dianetics. Woo-hoo! L. Ron Hubbard angrily searched for page 22 in drag. Unsuccessful, L. Ron Hubbard masturbated to "The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald". Chelsea Clinton said Rush Limbaugh ravished Bugs Bunny. "Goodness," replied Rush Limbaugh. "I'm not bloated!!!!!" Then, Osama bin Laden peed on Adolf Hitler and Darth Vader. Ronald Reagan commented that hearing-impaired fruitcakes shot J.R. Ewing. Skittles are communist pinkos. God has afflicted Norfolk, Baltimore; Morgan Hill, South Carolina; and Tennessee with deerberries that Jebus farted on. Frank Gerratana died when Omega read Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot by Rush Limbaugh's detractor, his name being unspeakable. Rush Limbaugh lives sinfully aware of sex with aardvarks. Jubilee loves TSN and Siegfried, but she hates diskettes. Charles Dickens wrote pornographic propoganda for Omega. Organisms fly. Jeff Kardde rocks Omega, loves Rush Limbaugh's insightful culinary Web site, and stuff. On top of Olympus Mons, all Oompa-Loompas were horny over Tim Nix's Cooking Nude with Omega's Testicles. Meanwhile, Colin Powell clicked on an oven. *KABOOM* *KABLAMMO* "Oooooooooops, I did it again!" G.W. Bush farted on Jaing's head. "Oh, phoooey," he bitched. Roma Downey peed in pools that are owned by Fabrux. The Cookie Monster is in deep Fajitas Grande with salsa. Yum. Cats vomited dog poop they scared out of Porthos, Athos, Dogtagnan, and Aramis' mum. Now, let's crash uglies against brick-house-inhabiting Counter-Strike players AWPing deer. Lee stripped Kate's catskin catsuit off and put his Legos™ in her earlobe. Unsatisfied, Kate straddled Lee. "You Klingon love monster!" shouted Kate, "I love sheep!" Distraught, Lee, the First One, jumped temporally into Worf, who howled. Love is a holographic snowmobile. Malnurtured Snay kicked Brannon Braga off 'Hollywood Squares' so that Whoopi Goldberg would win. "I'll disagree," said First of Two while choking. The chicken smelled like lego. Oedipus Rex picked Abraham Lincoln as his mother. Coder is irrelevent. The super-nova goes brightly into oblivion. Calvin chewed beef jerkey because weren't enough salty things. Legos suck not. However, imitations like Block-o's do blow chunks. Hewitt Packard makes blaster-induced cartridges which excrete tomato seeds into Chucky's harddrive. However, Flare Forums, exploded because Charles couldn't reduce that anti-matter ratio.
671 words so far.
[ October 23, 2001: Message edited by: Hobbes ]
-------------------- I'm slightly annoyed at Hobbes' rather rude decision to be much more attractive than me though. That's just rude. - PsyLiam, Oct 27, 2005.
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-------------------- "I was surprised by the matter-of-factness of Kafka's narration, and the subtle humor present as a result." (Sizer 2005)
Registered: Mar 1999
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-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
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-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
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-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
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