Topic: The Never-Ending Story: may God have mercy on my soul...
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I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
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Once upon Jesus Christ's pet gerbil's birthday, Omega restarted his magnificent action of eating. The insipid knackwurst started fermenting wildly while Rupert Murdoch got high on Frenchmen's baguettes. Whimpering James Dean melodies played over Adolf Eichmann's choking cough. Ronald Sandoval theorem states explosions never occur during cracking lithium. However, they randomly... KABLAMMO! "Holy crap on fire!" Tony Orlando died happy. Christoper Moltisante...? Who? You think this is funny? Hardly. "I wouldn't laugh if Tony Soprano exploded," Dr. Jennifer Melfi said. Pauli Walnuts has walnuts upon successful Sultan Hashem Ahmed's daughter's nipples without permission. Jonathan Frakes, Scott Hamilton, Stiffler, Yuri Gagarin, and I rode her. On "Tuesday's Man" is Dolph Lundgren getting buggered by Queen Elizabeth after teatime? Fat people explode messily. Or so I heard. Chipmonks misspelled "chipmunks." Slartibartfast managed the planetary interference array badly. Michael_T opposes Babylon 5, only it continues to intrigue his penis. Incongruously, Dolph Lundgren jumped over Homer Simpson and Patrick Stewart with a zamboni. "Born Slippy", as it were, pertains to Dolph Lundgren's tongue smells. Mike Shinoda thinks Dolph Lundgren rides holographic man-trains. Mrs. Lundgren watches Little Lundgren boinking children vigorously into submission. However, Dolph fucked himself up by spanking George Bush with a flounder. Meanwhile, Jean-Claude van Damme kissed Charles Capps' Bronco. Dolph Lundgren man-trained Jeff Benson's friend Lee Kelly to orgasm. Jiang Zemin died. Bashar Assad farted. Bosnia and Herzegovina burned. Gene Ray had survived Aleksandr Soljenitsyne's books by hiding in bed. Meanwhile, Alexander Solzenytsin farted on Vladimir Kryuchkov's niece. Batman! Porcelain! TSN shattered Omega's clarinet's possibilities. Donald Rumsfeld mates during press dinners despite foreign chicks' being naked Betty White lookalikes. First of Two and Seven of Nine pooped themselves purple while reading "Little Red Riding Hood, Pornographic Edition." Batman's Cleveland Steamer chugged mightily through Man-Train Central Station on the Jubilee Line. Love is cruel, consisting of contradiciton, betrayal, and gigantic throbbing thumbtacks. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwilllantysiliogoggoch had spelling mistakes in each of its chipmonks. "Counter-Strike" sucks when Vogon poet Jeff Benson cheats his scores. �Taco! Orgasms feel happy. Tim Berners-Lee exploded, while Ultra von Magnus, Jr. didn't like his HEMAN dildo. However, Ultra Magnus intervened. Jeff Kardde voted for strawberry-flavored ice-cream. Elian Gonzalez walked. "�Taco!" screamed Ruben Blade's Tostitos, while smothering Omega in beans. Luis Gonzales is flatulent, pedantic, and whimsically holographic, allegedly. Newfies pop! Newfies pop! Newfies with Dr Seuss's Glock and Smith & Wesson's 'Dr Seuss'! Wow! Zowie! Newfies suck! Newfies pop Supreme Chancellor Ultra von Magnus's hymen-like mouth, spewing pollen through him. "Ew! Blue stuff is yucky, sexy!" said Tinky-Winky, while The359 changes poopy-filled diapers. "The End? NO!" yelled MIB. Banned? Woohoo! Everyone liked that. Gandalf the Grey, McKellan the Gay, Ultra Magnus the Foolish, Malnurtured Snay the Tomato Rocket-esque, and Vogon the Poet flamencoed down to Mordor flamboyantly, intending hilarity. Bronson Pinchot exploded. If a melon explodes, run towards it. Dolph Lundgren sucks since pledging his soul to Ultra Magnus's dog-loving in-vitro offspring that swing "HEMAN" 'right-round-baby-right-round' like 'a-record-baby.' Dead or Alive reacted badly, vomiting akimbo, but Robert Mugabe loved power-cuts at Ultra Magnus's gay workout buddy, Malnurtured Snay-android. Ultra Magnus wept sufficiently, masturbating Navy Chief Zamboni Driver 1st class Dolph Lundgren, III. He might not explode, but he can't yearn because of chronic genital warts, implanted when clones gestate Ultra Magnus anally. Turpentine dissolved sadly into Stephen Collings, who choked and soiled Wang Chung's antimacassar. James Bond smells 'Jingle Bells' albums, 'Batman Smells EPs, and furry little animals, bludgeoning smaller kitties for great vengeance. Move zig. Zag for further Denver Nuggets, and Denver Nuggets-galore shall Dolph-Lundgrenize rapidly, even in earwax-saturated phlegm, jacking incredulously hard, so naturally an Orc intervened. The whole entire Orc population basically farted. Granted, Dolph Lundgren's seasoned bouillabaise (Denver Nuggets) reeks with obscene tachyonic-sized cat explosives. Meanwhile, the Enterprise mated with a duck-shaped topiary behind a man-train consisting of Charles Capps, Lambchop, and Mini-Me. "What..?! OUCH!" said the broom. "Bang!" yelled David Caruso, as Dennis Franz exploded. CaptainMike bitch-slapped Malnurtured Snay's bitch, Omega. Omega is not a god-like engineer who woman-trains reprehensible fundamentalists. Geeks flee, and plunder the library in Franklin, Tennessee. This resulted in re-tah-ded orations from President George 'Dubya' Bush, a hooker, Army Man-Train Engineer 3rd class Dolph Lundgren IV, the 1991 AFC-Champion Denver Broncos, and MIB. Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., The Monolith and L. Ron Hubbard couldn't lift Gordi Howe by the Scrotum. Tony Danza exploded twice before the California Golden Seals sang Tornado Justice. The Birmingham's captain Dolph Lundgren XII signed his lundgrenesque autograph. Adolf Hitler was Tarellian. His filth-encrusted sidekicks, MIB, Heinrich Himmler, and George 'Dubya' Bush man-trained with Major Barcalow, El Supreme-o Ass Hole Of The World Osama Bin Laden, Martha Stewart, El Idiot Supreme of Flare MIB, and two gerbils. Anna Kournikova was gay until Intendant Kira choked Lt. Worf. Supreme Grand Admiral and Creator of Flare Charles T. Capps snorts crack from Risa. Bart Simpson made Dolph Lundgren IV a slingshot which broke and killed him, again. Dolph Lundgen SUCKS popsicles flavored with popsicles that kill Batman, Ultra Magnus, Omega, militiamen and PeeWee Herman penguins. Omega exploded thrice upon igniting gas. Batman proposed to Silver Surfer while Silver Surfer masturbated over Mrs. Dolphene Ludgren. Omega jumped the shark-like armchair. The Glock fired rubber condoms like fish eggs. Amy Wynn said "No, both!" Touquefucker Dolph Lundgren XII, the oral tongue-ilator ravished Jean-Claude van Damme posthumously. Jeff Raven might love exploding monkeys sometimes, but renegade Suliban reneged retroactively, requiring rectal-cleaning reverberation of renegades. The long and winding tale presented by Commander Harmon Rabb, Richard D. James and Detective Bobby Simone became "Travelers to AnusLand" U//Magnus envisioned "K1NG 0F 7H3 5M4XX0R!1!." Finally, U//Magnus died. "Excellent," said Chief Master Petty Officer Third Class Hobbes as Master Rideon Lawnmower Fanatic Charles Linbergh Level MMXVII exploded orgasmically four times more. "In retaliation, Charles "Chucky" Capps danced without clothes again!" shouted Rob Farquhar, repeatedly shooting people with SIG-sauer P220s. The 1993 Stanley Cup Champion Montreal Canadiens exploded. Patrick Roy didn't. Terra Tyrrhena illiterately balooned out of Omega's arse. Siegfried's lovers never cheat, except nothing makes Candy hornier. TSN and TSN's uncle pop rocks retroactively between Springfield and The Cave of Caerbannog. 1940s Los Gatos cult leader Father William Riker lost millions of platypi because P. Diddy activated The Device. Jack Bauer performed keyhole surgery without The Device. Cap'n Mike promises training to Without Smith, Jr. REVENGE! Darkstar and Major Barcalow and some flammable...
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Ya know, Jeff, I'd like to but I have no idea what the hell you mean by "PoE-=FaIL=-WeAK!"
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
I'd say "You first", Jeff. But that would make no sense, seeing as I'm posting one right now...
Darkstar and Major Barcalow and some flammable mayonnaise wrestled until Charlie Salinger errected "Baby Jesus" on K2
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
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