posted
USS Sitting Bull NCC 74601-Epson Class Deep Space Explorer Length:400m (20 decks) Propulsion: 0.25 cc Impulse drive Warp 8 crusing Speed Warp 9.985 (for 35 hours) Commisoned:Utopia Planetia, Mars Captain Kym Wild (Born in San Fran, Earth) CXO:James Frost (Born on Luna) CMO:Tom Embony (Born Utopia Planetia colony,Mars) CEO:Jarok (From Tellor) HELM:Kota Herys (From Bajor) OPS:Sarok (From Vulcan) TACTICAL:Kevin Piper (From San Fransico, Earth)
Captains log Stardate 55522.5 Having been travelling for over 2 month's at Warp 8. The crew and I are close to passing the frontiers of exolored space. What lies behind these boundaries is unknown.We left Federation Space 7 weeks ago and are now 275 light years from the nearest starbase. The only starship's to get out this far are Voyager and the Enterprise D. We continue to hold course and will cross the boundary in 1 week. What lies there is a complete mystery. end log.
Captain Kym:Kota Gerys report on warp drive.
Kota Herys:We continue to hold warp 8.
Captain Kym:Ops report
Sarok:Long range sensors show all clear.
Captain Kym:Good, I'm going to my quarters then to the Holodeck to relax in the mud pools of Havelon 2.
Captain Kym leaves the bridge, Goes down to her quarters on deck 4. She then goes to the holodecks on Deck 9.
A week later the ship drops out of warp. The crew then send their last messages home. The ship then goes to 1/4 Impulse and crosses the invisible border. The ship is now in a new part of the galaxy. The ship engages Warp drive at maximum and plunges into the unknown. The ship continues to acclerate away from the now distant Federation. The ship alters course and then slows to impulse as it approaches a huge star some 10x as big as our sun. The ship spends a week surveying the star system. The Star system comprises of 3 planet. A class Y, A Class M and A Class H. The Sitting bull then leaves the star system and continues a warp towards the Delta Quadrant. The ship then enters a star system which is about to go nova. The rest is up to you lot!!
quote:Captain Kym:Good, I'm going to my quarters then to the Holodeck to relax in the mud pools of Havelon 2.
Captain Kym leaves the bridge, Goes down to her quarters on deck 4. She then goes to the holodecks on Deck 9.
A week later the ship drops out of warp.
JAYSUS!! So she's been kicking back in the mudpools for a solid week, while NOTHING ELSE had been happening on the ship!?
Wha-huuuh?
OK (seriously), the captain would NOT tell her bridge staff that she was going to get all hot and unbothered in the Holodeck. It's none of their business.
That, and the fact that after a week, she'd be like having smoked a solid pound of blow she'd be so relaxed.
------------------ At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.
"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"
posted
Nobody's gonna 'continue' a story with so little background on the characters... or anything else for that matter.
The problem is that any idjit can come up with a list of names... and usually does.
DEPTH! DEPTH! DEPTH!
------------------ The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
Not to toot my own horn, but scroll down to my Original Series thread ... see those character descriptions I give? You need something to build on.
How about ...
Lieutenant (jg) Sarok -- a Vulcan officer just two years out of the Academy, he was raised to be the perfect Vulcan: he is logical to a fault, and has trouble "adapting" to unknown situations (especially when emotion is involved). He quotes Starfleet General Orders routinely when the Captain doesn't seem to be obeying them (think Mr. Saavik from Star Trek II), and tries to shy away from social interactions with the crew, making himself a bit of an outsider.
Something along those lines. Saying, Sarok. Vulcan, Ops is really inadequate.
And, damn man, you DO NOT NEED all those technical specifications! Stop with this fanboy stuff! You don't need length or height or width. Just a general description.
Our starship is the USS Sitting Bull, a member of the Epson-Class. She's a medium size deep space explorer with a complement of about 200 -- mainly scientists and researchers. As her mission takes her into unknown space, she's outfitted with reliable weaponry (quantum torpedoes, phasers), but only for use as a last resort. This ship isn't a warship like the Defiant -- she's got crew comforts: comfortable living quarters for her crew, a decent forward viewing rec-room, holodecks, the whole nine yards. Also, her science facilities are top of the line, as required on a deep space explorer.
Think more along those lines.
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 6.27 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with four eps posted) *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001 **** "The candidate who slimed John McCain in the primaries and smeared Al Gore in the general election is now the president who pledges to elevate the nation's tone and bring civility to our discorse. Kind of like Michael Corleone brought peace to the mob by killing the heads of the other four families." --Paul Begala, Is Our Children Learning?
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited March 10, 2001).]
posted
Ok, I'm just gonna take my gloves off this once, ready?
Captain Kym Wild is adressed on a first-name basis????
Sarok and Sarek is kind of like McDonalds and McDonnells... And there actually IS a guy named Sarek, you know? And another one named Jarok?? Prepare for a lot of cute jokes with funny trumpet music a la "Wa-wa-wa-wa-waaow"..
Kota Herys from Bajor? Kira Nerys' evil twin, the one with manners?
Just a tad more imagination, lad. Just saying...
------------------ You can't kill me, I'm charming!
[This message has been edited by Nimrod (edited March 10, 2001).]
posted
Come on, guys, give Darkstar a little credit. At least he's using spaces now, which is a little better on the eyes.
Darkstar: Just out of curiousity, you had already begun writing a previous fanfic (Series 5 idea - If I Had My Way). Why are you all of a sudden starting a new one? If it had to do with the responses you were getting about not using paragraph spaces, you know you can go back and edit your messages, don't you?
------------------ Lisa: "Don't you remember the story of Oedipus?" Homer: "Maybe five dollars will refresh my memory." Lisa (angrily): "Oedipus was the story of a man who kills his father and marries his mother!" Homer: "Uggh! Who pays for that wedding?"
That is, it's easy to come up with a light concept, but MUCH harder to actually write anything about it.
Ideas are a dime a dozen. Putting a STORY to the idea, that's where it gets rough.
I speak from experience, having been a Creative Writing major and having struggled with my own Grand Epic Story characters and plotline for upwards of 7 years now without creating a viable sequence of stories within it.
------------------ The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited March 10, 2001).]
posted
Captain Kym Wild Served on USS Repulse, USS Crazy Horse and USS Exeter Father died when she 13 Mother serves as Human ambassordor to Vulcan. Was in the same cadet year as Chakotay of Voyager. Has a passion for Art. Loves hot chocolate.Age 35. Commander Jack Frost Travelled on various starships with his parents when he was a child. His Parents both accepted a post at Starfleet HQ when he was 15. He enrolled in 2363 at 16. He was 33 when he was offered a posistion as commander of the USS Sitting Bull. Has an passion for exploring the unknown, a bit of a risk taker. CMO Tom Embony Witnessed Breen attack on Earth as he was in Spacedock. He has travelled to Bajor and Qu'nos and has a child to his Bajoran wife. Bajoran wife lives on Luna and is friends with Colonel Kira. Has a sense of fun where he regularly uses the Holodeck to skydive,rockclimb and to practice his phaser skills. CEO Jarok Never knew his parents as they died while white water rafting on Tellor. He can't swim and hates Cardassains due to the fact they attacked a ship with his pregant girlfriend onboard. She lost the baby and they spilt up shortly afterwards. HELM Kota Herys Parents were forced to leave Bajor when the Cardassians came in. She grew up on Betazed and attended Starfleet academy in 2365 and her and her parents left when Bajor was freed by Starfleet. Served on DS9, USS Defiant and USS Bellephron. OPS Sarok Freinds with Jarok. Age 100 yrs. Enrolled in Starfleet in 2285. Served on USS Excelsior, USS Stargazer and USS Phoenix. Has supermb mental abilities and Parents were Vulcan ambassordors to Tellor. Met Jarok in 2370. TACTICAL Kevin Piper Friends with Kym Wild and served on USS Exeter. He is friends with Sarok,Kota Herys and Tom Embony. Has a huge passion for 20th Century weapons and has a crush on Kota Herys. He is the main person who assigns weapons to any away team.
IP: Logged
posted
You're BEGINNING to get the minutiae idea down.
NOW, work up a personal history for each character. A paragraph won't really do to tell us everything we ned to know about a person.
When I was in classes to do that sort of thing, they told us to take at LEAST a full, single-spaced page for every character you wre trying to write for.
Beyond physical statistics, you need upbringing, relations with family, personality overview, important past incidents, likes, dislikes, dreams (realistic and not), fears, and abilities and skills.
Here, I'll show you a little of what I'm talking about:
Lieutenant Harass-grawall Species: Kzinti Gender: Male Age: 9 (equivalent of age 24 in Terran years) Height: 7'3" Weight: 300# Position: Security Department Posting: USS Invictus Hair: Orange with black stripes Eyes: Green
Lt. Harass-grawall, or "Growl" to his friends, was born on the Kzin colony world of Ralash, near the Romulan border. The runt of the litter (Most Kzinti are about 9 feet tall and weigh around 400 pounds), little was expected of him in the Kzin military society. Undeterred by his family's low expectations, Growl broke with all Kzinti tradition and applied to Starfleet Academy. After being accepted, he became the first Kzin ever to enroll in Starfleet.
Growl suffered through his years at the Academy, not least because he found Earth too cold for his liking. He was also the target of certain xenophobic individuals. Nevertheless, he displayed a strong aptitude for codes and cyphers. This, along with his obvious natural abilities, led to his entry into the Security branch of Starfleet.
As an Ensign aboard the USS Montana, he attracted the attention of one (then Lieutenant Commander) Damien Kirk, Security Chief, who took him 'under his wing' and taught him expert techniques in security procedures. Growl's self-confidence soared, and he and Kirk became fast friends. When Kirk transferred aboard the USS Saskatchewan, and later, the Invictus, Growl went right along with him. Together, the two have yet to meet with the code or security system they could not overcome.
Growl, like most of his species, has an innate dislike of pacifists and herbivores, although he has managed to downplay this enough to survive in a Starfleet full of Vulcans. He enjoys meat, generally raw, and is outspoken in his belief that replicated food is bland and tasteless. He is an expert with his phaser< but tends to carry a large Kzinti-made sword for intimidation purposes. He has a dark sense of humor, and is known for making atrocious puns with military jargon. He is a fanatic when it comes to Starfleet, and has to restrain himself when someone demeans it or his ship, or else he might pull their heads off.
Growl's fondest wish is to make a great, heroic stand at a crucial hour. "I want to make a difference," he says.
------------------ The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited March 10, 2001).]
posted
Wow. First certainly has me beat in the description category. I usually prefer to do a paragraph (or two) to describe my major characters. This is my "bible" sheet for a new character I'm introducing to my Gamma Quadrant cast for Year Two.
Lieutenant (j.g.) Rawfal -- Conn, Antican (TNG's Lonely Among Us). He is the first of his species to graduate Starfleet Academy. Being a carnevour, this will put him somewhat at odds with some of the other members of the crew, but he's a dedicated officer (and he looks mighty imposing on top of that). Attended Flight Training school to learn how to pilot the production-model of the Defiant-Class, which is still overpowered compared to other ships. Now tasked with the Pelileu-Class, he feels restricted by the ship's inability to manuever (compared to the Defiant-Class, at any rate), and loves nothing more than being allowed to put the ship through her paces (whether the Tokyo can handle them or not).
He is without doubt a warrior: the Klingons and Romulans aboard had better watch what they say, or they'll find themselves with an angry canine at their necks. Likewise, he also tends to "stray" from his duties a bit, and his over-lapping into the security department will cause tension between himself, Security Chief Nadell, and 2nd Officer Lt. Gosvar.
***
Darkstar, FYI: giving us a history of their career isn't necessary. We'll find that out by the stories. Look at Will Riker: we knew he served on the Hood as XO, but only be benefit of the Encoutner at Farpoint script. Nothing in the Bible (the writer's guide, not the fictional book many religions think God wrote) said anything about the Potemkin or the Pegasus. Gotta leave yourself some freedom, you know.
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited March 10, 2001).]
posted
The sitting bull carries on going at warp 8 for over 1 week and then slows to Full Impulse when it dectects a debrie field. The ship finds a field of Debris some 150,000,000 km. The ship begins beaming in the debries and finds evidence of weapons fire. The ship then find a warp trail leading to a system some 5 light years away. The crew set course and arrive 5 hours later. The ship slows to Impluse. The crew find a ship. The ship fires upon the sitting bull. The sitting bull's sheilds hold, but repeated weapons fire slowly begins to drain the sheilds. The sitting bull goes to full Impulse and the alien ship continues it's pursuit, Not responding to hails. The sitting bull leaps to Warp 1. The alien ship continues to pursue the sitting bull and continues to fire on the sheilds. The sitting bull accelarates to Warp 4. The Alien ship continues to pursue and continues to fire. The sitting bull fires 6 quamtum topedoes at the alien ship. The alien ship is damaged and it's weapons are knocked out and it slows to Warp 2. The sitting bull reverses course and ends up behind the alien ship. The alien ship fires a aft weapon and drains the sitting bull's forward sheilds and blows out the power relays on Deck 8. The sitting bull fires 2 quamtum topedoes and the alien ship comes to a halt. The sitting bull comes along side the alien ship. Captain Kym hails the ship and an angry looking alien comes on screen. "We are the Dorgan Imperium. Who are you?" "I'm Captain Kym Wild of the Federation Starship sitting bull" "Who is this Federation?" "An Organistation of over 150 planets spread over 800 light years" "We have never heard of them" "We are now 500 light years from them in what we know as unexplored space" "Our space is vast. We extend for some 3500 light years form that star system behind us.Our Homeworld is 1750 light years form here. We will escort you to an area some 150 light years away where you may continue your journey do not bother us again" "What If we need to return to Federation Space?" "Tough. You will go round our space which is vast" "Well If We go through what will happen?" "You will be destroyed!" "Captain Wild out!" the sitting bull suddenly warps forward at maximum and the alien ship unable to pursue calls for reinforcements. The sitting bull then does a wide warp arch and heads towards the Galactic rim of the Beta Quadrant. The ship continues at warp and leaves the Dorgans Imperium's space. and continues at Warp 6.2 towards the Beta Quadrants galactic rim. The journey could take decades but the crew know many wonders await them in this region of space. "These are the voyages of the USS Sitting Bull. It's continuing mission to explore strange new worlds. To explore the unknown space beyond our own."
IP: Logged
posted
JeffK: You think that's bad... "Growl" is just a MINOR NPC - an EXTRA - in my RPG game. I've been creating NPC's to fill out my ship's unseen crew. Growl is the first.
Darkstar:
Looks like the entirety of the above passage was created in order to provide a background for making a map. Perhaps you should do that FIRST, and leave the data for later.
Plus, the entirety of the action happens in a few minutes, where it should take much longer. What are the other crewmembers doing/saying? What is the atmosphere like? Tense? Easy? The speakers sound like they're reading dialogue off of cue cards. "This is so. This is such." Give them tone of voice, posture, all that important stuff you see even in 'Goosebumps' trash. Don't let them be just talking heads.
And PUT LINES BETWEEN YOUR PARAGRAPHS! (hit the 'enter' key twice)
------------------ The government that seems the most unwise, oft goodness to the people best supplies. That which is meddling, touching everything, will work but ill, and disappointment bring. - The Tao Te Ching
[This message has been edited by First of Two (edited March 10, 2001).]
Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
Maybe it's because of the Trek format. One sees things & in one's mind, it reads as enough or OK. This is a page for a character for an online RPG that I was accepted to. It's actually TWO characters, since I had to create not only the mortal but the muse as well. It's a simple format, but one that works.
------------------ "For people with resources, the right events happen. They may look like coincidences, but they arise out of necessity." --T�rk Hviid
[EDIT: HTML can't be used in .sigs.]
[This message has been edited by Fabrux (edited March 11, 2001).]
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