posted
Well, why not? (I will not actually pay any attention to the multiple good reasons why not.) In no particular order, some impressions.
"Teacher's Pet"
A big Musetta Vander shaped mantis is totally going to eat some virgins, dude! is the pitch.
What kind of chair has legs that just easily snap off into sharpened sticks, is the first thing I wonder. I guess I should excuse dream sequences. Then, Xander should totally start playing the show's theme song in his big guitar moment, but he doesn't.
This teacher seems reasonable and friendly, which puts him in a vanishingly small minority in Sunnydale. Though a high school biology teacher who wears a lab coat while lecturing seems more than a little pretentious. Anyway he is, of course, brutally murdered by an unexpected big green arm.
I think monsters must concentrate on eating only competant and trustworthy authority figures. Though I guess that doesn't explain Principal Flutie.
I wrote down in my notes how I was not convinced by the guitar miming skillz of this guy who is supposed to be rocking out in the Bronze (for real this time), but maybe this is one of the real bands they have from time to time? Then he has time to smirk at Xander? (I should note, though, that at the only rock concert I've been to I was totally terrified of looking like a big nerd in front of my rock idols.)
I think I am just repeating myself by this point, but Xander and Willow seem to go out a lot for alleged nerds.
Angel says Buffy looks cold. She's in a rock club full of teenagers jumping around in Southern California. It is just an excuse for him to show off his biceps.
"Be very afraid of this one vampire with a claw hand!" is Angel's important message of the week.
I like it when characters look pleased with their own jokes.
Dopey synth music cue to introduce the sexy substitute (and, spoiler: secret giant mantis). She proceeds to charm all the boys with sexy talk of insect mating habits.
It seems to me that a dead body found in the kitchen would be serious bad news, from a hygenic point of view.
Buffy's fight with the clawed vampire is interupted by. . . the police? Like, some guy was eviscerated and they think that maybe it is a good idea to step up patrols? Whoa, crazy!
Really, the whole school should probably be shut down for counseling. Or maybe, I don't know, some sort of investigation? Just theorizing here.
Now she is seducing boys with sexy test answers.
Now she is rotating her head all the way around in clear view of everyone in class, though no one notices. She is not really concerned with keeping up her disguise.
Guitar solo!
Insects on a sandwich, but what really puts me off is the combination of mayonaisse and crickets.
"Poor old Carlyle, before he went mad. . ." I bet Giles has to insert the latter half of that phrase into many of his conversations.
What's this? Buffy thinks someone is a big monster? I better totally disregard her advice.
And then there is this Greek food joke that I don't get.
I realize that her whole plan revolves around rape and murder, but serving alcohol to her underage students is just kind of creepy.
Is she a mantis demon, then? I mean, what's the taxonomic lowdown? Like, she's afraid of bat sonar, apparently.
There are a lot of flashbacks to earlier in the episode.
I think her whole plan would run more smoothly if she waited until later in it to switch from lady form to mantis form.
quote:Really, the whole school should probably be shut down for counseling. Or maybe, I don't know, some sort of investigation?
Well, things like this aren't uncommon in Sunnydale. IIRC, near the end of the third season, someone pointed out that Buffy's class has the lowest body count of any graduating class ever.
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
I would watch along and comment, but my DVD collection contains Angel season 2 and, er, that's it. (Although I do have Buffy seasons 3 and 4 and Angel season 1 on video. Thanks a lot, Sony and Philips.)
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
Well, someday I will get to those seasons. Or in one case back to that season. Or perhaps I will find something constructive to do with my time.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
Well, with that ringing endorsement: "Never Kill A Boy On The First Date"
Puns! Or is that technically a pun? More a play on words, I guess. Anyway, uh, Buffy goes out on a date. But it is interrupted by, surprise, vampires. But this time they have a big plan!
"Oh, that's great! I kill them, you fence their stuff!" A fine plan, really, only most vampires don't leave any stuff behind. I'm pretty sure that if you leave a stake in one while it goes up the stake goes too, but on the other hand people touch them sometimes while they're vaporizing, and don't seem to suffer from any ill effects. I don't know why I'm even saying this.
Whatever vampire religion it is the Master represents, it sure has a lot of sects and orders.
Oh wow, Owen Thurman! That weird kid who doesn't go out much and moons over Emily Dickenson. I guess in Sunnydale all you need to seem mysterious is a Livejournal where you post Smith lyrics all the time. Except Owen can't be too weird, because he is also supposed to be dreamy. It is sort of a weird confluence, is what I'm getting at.
I always get the impression, here in this shuttlebus attack sequence, that the bus is just randomly circling around in the middle of nowhere. Like, it just seems to be out there, and you don't usually see shuttlebuses plying darkened suburban streets. Or I don't think. I mean, are they on their way to the airport?
Here is my ornate pocket watch. I wrote that down, but I can't remember who was giving it to whom, but apparently it was worth commenting on. Who even has a pocket watch? Probably Giles.
Also, here is what I wonder about the Master's plan: Five people die and one becomes the chosen one. But, spoiler: it isn't who it appears to be. So did they turn all five into vampires, and choose the chosen one from that pool, or what?
Poor, poor Xander. Hey, want to come over to Buffy's house and help her pick out a dress to wear on her hot date? The only proper response is no. Yet there he is.
Even Cordelia is all over Owen.
That lampshade really adds to the integrity of the baracade, guys. Good work. (Because they are trying to block a door, see.)
Some unnecessary gymnastics and an (from his perspective) unfortunately slippery gurney finish of this vampire quickly enough.
Cut to Xander and Willow enjoying juice the next day.
And the moral Owen learned from an evening being chased around a mortuary by a reanimated corpse: fighting is totally rad! I wonder if he survived high school.
Inbetween wanting to be a fighter pilot or a grocer, and accepting the inevitability of his career as a Watcher, Giles leaves out the part where he ran away to London and joined a band and worshipped Satan for a few years.
Twist ending! The evil chosen one is actually innoccous small boy Colin. Only I don't think they mention his name in this episode.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
Actually (and rather sadly), the main thing I remember about that episode is that during the final fight, all I could think of was "wow, everyone must be able to see right up Buffy's dress."
I am lonely.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
Some bullies and Xander get possessed by hyena spirts, and go nuts.
This episode features some of the most well-groomed and attractive high school bullies. These kids really ought to be too busy keeping up with their hip lifestyles to have much time left over for focused bullying. Surely random, Cordelia-style snarking would be more their speed?
Willow and Xander open up the episode by being very excited about zebra sex. Did I mention they were at the zoo? Anyway. I guess this is foreshadowing for the sexual frustrations which are to follow.
For good measure, some chimpanzee footage.
Already I don't trust this zookeeper, with his creepy hyena legends. Is he even qualified for the job?
Xander discovers courage, and then gets possessed. But, hang on, not to get ahead of myself, but I thought it required a "predatory act?"
Let's all go to the rock club and eat some croissants!
All things considered, Xander isn't really acting any more unusual while possessed than he usually acts.
"Kid's fat." I like how he assumes the problem is that Willow and Buffy don't get the joke.
Is the library, and the part of the library right in front of the entrance, really the best place for covert martial arts training?
Xander possessed has very little time for math homework. When is he ever going to have to use geometry out on the savannah?
The hyena kids ruthlessly turn on their own in an aggressive dodgeball match.
Xander's in with the rock/stoner kids?
Poor pig.
This slow-motion walk with accompanying emo guitar song is lengthy.
Willow here reminds me of Fry being disappointed when Bender doesn't try to kill him while possessed in Futurama.
I'd think this attempt at sexual assault would make things awfully awkward later.
And now, the part of the episode that gets me, in the sense of I can't quite buy it, or, I can, but it is too weird. The hyena kids eat the principal and no one hears. I put it to you that beating and biting a human being to death is not a quiet operation. Plus, like, they kill the principal! I mean, they were just mean bullies before, and now they are in serial killer territory.
"The official theory is wild dogs got into his office somehow." Holy crap! At least nobody knows how to deal with vampires, but wild dogs? The town would freak out!
Anyway, there are a lot of extreme closeups in this episode.
Also, the blond hyena girl is pretty cute, and I'm pretty sure she was in the short-lived (and terrible) Cleopatra 2525 with Gina Torres. Or, I don't know, maybe normal standards of good and bad no longer apply to shows designed to appeal to the Xena/Hercules demographic.
You know, attempting to kill Willow, as the (now revealed to be) evil zookeeper attempts here, seems like overkill, when the bullies managed to do the job with simple bullying, unless we're supposed to believe that they really were going to feed that kid to the hyenas in the beginning.
And the end. But Xander remembers the whole thing. So what about the others? They killed a man and ate his flesh! There must be entire psychological journals devoted to Sunnydale High School.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
Addendum: Cleopatra 2525 wasn't really, like, terrible, in the pedestrian sense. I mean, it was too weird to make much sense but not weird enough to be Lexx, is basically the deal. Call it mediocre eccentricity, which is in some ways more tiring than plain mediocrity.
I think this is going to be a double post.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
I got the impression they were shooting for the whole Zena: Lesbian Fanbase with that show.
Lame show.
The women were very purdy though.
-------------------- Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering. -Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged
Hey Colin, want to throw some rocks into my blood pond?
The three. Defining characteristic: there are three of them. Ominous!
Vampires should have thought up this attack-the Slayer-in-groups-larger-than-one strategy months ago. Even though Angel ruins it.
"Run!" Two of the three are doubled over in pain right then, though. You could probably stake them.
Describing (and justifying) Angel to Buffy's mother: "He's a student. First year community college." Now there's a community college in town too?
I sure hope no one ever needs to get into this locker in the library where all the deadly weapons are kept. On the other hand, I never bothered to poke around in all the cupboards and closets in my high school library.
Did Angel just hide in Buffy's closet all day? This relationship is getting off to an odd start. I mean, even ignoring the vampire thing.
Cordelia just sort of randomly collides with this episode and then just as quickly bounces away. "What?" Oh no, she's overheard! But, no, it is just some business about designer clothing.
I wonder how Darla found herself back in the Master's fold. And what about Angel's soul, which so freaked her out the first time she encountered him? Though I guess maybe she just isn't clear on the mechanics of a vampire ensoulment curse. (That is, once we decide to overlook the fact that none of that other stuff had been thought up yet.)
This tragic case of mistaken identity will not be the last. And how to explain the broken window?
If Angel really wanted Buffy to kill him, he shouldn't have changed back to his human face. But I guess he wouldn't be a conflicted vampire with a soul if he wasn't, you know, conflicted.
All vampires should carry guns.
It's kind of surprising how fleetingly Darla was around at the beginning, considering her later importance.
The Master is sad that Darla is dead. And while Spike dispatching Colin and, by extention, the Master's whole vampiric church group is neat, I kind of wish we would see more of what vampires are thinking about and doing when they aren't eating people.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
I always wondered about the gun thing. I think that if you've just become this basass undead dude (which recent vampires sometimes view themselves as; remember that bloke Darla bumped into in Angel season 2 who was proud to have been a dark sevent of evil since 1994), then carring a gun might amount to saying that you're a bit of a woose.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
I thought I did this one before, but I can't find it if I did, so: "I Robot. . .You Jane"
There's this demon, right, and he gets stuck in a book (a magic book!) until he is scanned into a computer, years before Google Print, and takes over the internet. That done, he romances Willow and has himself built a robot body. I was pretty sure I didn't like this episode at all, because it is heavy on the "what will the internet do to society??" angle, making it like watching a debate about the crazy potential of the saddle. But it also turns out to be fun.
We start with the first of many historical flashbacks. A demon! Let's bind it using the Circle of Kayless! Which sounds just like the Klingon, you see. Well, anyway, that's what they do. Moloch, the demon, seems pretty easy to deal with, though, all things consider. Some monks just stand around in a circle and read from a book. They aren't even near Moloch. They might not be in the same building. And I wonder why they can't just destroy the book once he is inside? More on that later.
Ms. Calendar! She was a dancer for Prince, you know, and these days is very keen on Jesus. Also she is very pretty.
"If you're not jacked in, you're not alive." Who is this guy? It turns out he is Fritz, which should have been their first warning. He continues to talk like an extremely creepy Shadowrun fan for the rest of the episode.
I like how Willow is all "Hey Xander, let's hang out" and he doesn't and then: "Hey Buffy, wait up!" Because: foreshadowing!
"Oh Buffy, I didn't see you." That's because she was behind you.
Willow has a picture of herself and Giles in her locker? That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Nobody on the west coast says "on line" to mean in line.
Freeze frame facts: Buffy's birthdate here is October 24, 1980, though don't they change it later? Sunnydale High has a dodgeball team. And there's the folder where this week's script is kept, apparently.
"I'm jacked in. I'm jacked in. I'm jacked in." Again with this kid. And now he's a cutter too.
Buffy is wearing a huge ring.
Who says everything they type outloud as they type it? And then "I have to sign off now," but she just turns the monitor off. The chat session is still running. Her internet boyfriend probably missed his bus because of her.
The internet is new and strange!
I'm certain I've made this exact comment before: "A powerful demon with horns is walking around Sunnydale and nobody noticed?" Of course not.
And oh man, this sequence. The attempted murder by electrocution in the shower sequence. I present, without any further comment, two lines: "Hey Buffy, Willow was looking for you. She said she'd be in the girl's locker room." "Will? Are you taking a shower?"
Anyway, from the thickness of Buffy's shoes, I don't think she's in much danger.
Now Dave is dead. I haven't mentioned Dave. He is the other kid who knows computers and is therefore susceptible to internet demons, but Dave is not nearly as annoying as Fritz, so the demon has to kill him. (Also he saves Buffy from the trap earlier.) And shouldn't someone call some emergency service about his body hanging in the computer lab?
"Techno-Pagan." Uh, sure.
Robot!
Pratfall!
What kind of security system comes with knock-out gas, I wonder?
Ah, the old tricked into punching a box full of dangerous wires and getting electrocuted trick. Now Moloch is dead, since the Circle of Kayless thing trapped him in his robot body this time. But then they smash up the robot, and apparently that's that. So why not just burn the book five hundred years ago, monks?
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
Are you ready for this? Some murders are committed, possibly by an evil ventriloquist dummy. Then there's a twist. It was the magician all along!
I don't have too many notes, though. This is an odd episode. To start things off: singing! Principal Snyder! Ventriloquism!
I'd like to know the story behind how Morgan the sad ventriloquist and Sid the dummy met up originally, and how Morgan decided he ought to listen to his talking dummy and go fight a demon.
"I will be flesh," says the monster right before the credits. But it doesn't sound like either Sid or the eventual real culprit.
"That's the kind of woolly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten." Though it isn't really.
There's no blood on the knife allegedly used to slice open the dancing girl who was just sliced open backstage at school, but then a few minutes pass and everyone is fine about it. Sunnydale is tough.
Willow: "It could be anyone. It could be me! It's not, though."
And Buffy just goes around breaking into lockers at her whim?
Snyder confronts her during the locker-breaking, and tells her he's keeping an eye on her, and is sure she's up to something. In light of later revelations about local government in Sunnydale, I wonder just what Snyder knows, at this point.
Buffy's mother: "Is there something bothering you?" A horrible murder on campus perhaps? And then she says you shouldn't go to sleep with the window open? Why not? Though I guess it makes perfect sense in Sunnydale.
Sid is not very subtle, what with all his talking, and his sneaking into Buffy's room and then just scampering around.
Once Sid is, uh, captured (before they know he can walk around and stuff), and listens in to Buffy and Giles and everyone talking about the murder, shouldn't he realize something is up, and that she isn't what he thinks?
The dummy gets loose and everyone panics.
There's an awful lot of Buffy wandering around backstage in this episode.
At least the characters all look suitably unconvinced by Sid's tale of how he used to hunt demons before getting stuck in a dummy. Also, Sid knows about slayers but didn't speculate that the girl with superpowers might possibly not be a demon?
I guess Snyder is supposed to be a suspect.
Now another dead kid, only hours(?) before the talent show, but it goes ahead anyway. Morgan's brain has been stolen, but it is OK because he was dying of brain cancer. And no one knew but the school nurse. That is pretty sad. Is it the same, evil school nurse from the swim team episode, I wonder?
I like when the curtain goes up, and there is a decapitated monster beneath a guillotine, and Buffy is cradling a dummy, and Willow and Xander and Giles stand around awkwardly.
And they are terribly afraid of being embarrassed at the talent show, but decide to perform a scene from Oedipus Rex? I highly approve of end credit hijinks, anyway.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
Printer-friendly view of this topic
