posted
James T. Kirk bows to the gods of anti-celibacy.
------------------ Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
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Kirk: #*$%)#! I hate it when you write on the chalk board and you get your arms all dust!
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posted
Paternal Announcer Voice: "So, you and your buddies are going overseas, huh? Looking to fight for your mom and your little brother and your best girl? To prove to the world that your country is the best country on Earth? Well, good for you! But be warned, one of the worst enemies you face won't be the vile forces of International Communism. You're smarter and stronger than those deluded worshipers of Marx. No, your worst enemy isn't a man at all. It's a bug. A virus, to be exact. Where is it found? Why, in the one place you'd least expect."
*shots of pretty young girls of various nationalities flash by*
Yes, they sure are lookers, aren't they? But behind that exotic exterior lay the horrors of Veneral Disease. Oh, is he talking about VD again? you ask. Yes, Old Man VD.
*picture of a menacing Fu Manchu-esque cartoon character crouching on the shoulder of one of the women*
Back home, we've pretty much got him conquered. Old Man VD is on the ropes, and falling fast.
*animated sequence showing Old Man VD in a boxing match with a giant pair of anthropomorphic hypodermic needles; he takes one to the jaw and falls*
But we're not talking about that kind of VD, the kind that might make you miss the Prom or the Homecoming game. You're heading straight into Old Man VD's HQ, and has he got some surprises up his sleeve.
*Old Man VD sits atop his jungle tower and rubs his hands together viciously*
But telling you about all this won't do as much as showing you. So take a look at some of your fellows who've hit the mat.
P.S. I apologize for the length, which will probably disqualify me, but once I got that image in my head I couldn't get it out. I still can't. Please help me.
------------------ "Hey Mr. Boo, fly away home. Your house is so lovely, your children so nice." -- Hello (The Band)
posted
If William Shatner was attacked by brain-sucking leaches early in TOS's first season, that might come to explain a few things.
------------------ Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
posted
Sol, just as I began to look this over tonight, I got the same exact idea... then I read your post, and I don't think I could have done any better! *LOL*
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posted
Kirk: Does your deodorant leave a residue? Well, now you can do it in colors! Try Cool Blue, or our new Fresh Scent Purple!
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posted
James T. Kirk, the guess referee for the first inter-galactic football match, begins to signal the latest touchdown. The score now is:
Gorn Gladiators - 28 Tholian Thundering Herd - 14
To protest the latest bad call by Kirk, the Tholian coach inflicts the heinous "blue arms phage" on the referee.
------------------ You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies! They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup. It tastes like ketchup. But brother, it ain't ketchup! ~Homer Simpson
[This message has been edited by Jay (edited August 21, 1999).]
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Shatner: "Listen, I'm TRYING to do the scene, but the girl's damn skin coloring keeps rubbing off on my arms! Why can't she just be a Human girl?"
------------------ "When we turn our back on our principles, we stop being human." -- Janeway, "Equinox"
posted
Sorry, computer blowing-up badness has caused the late judging of this entry. If you want to complain, then tough noogies, cause you can't. BWAHAHAHAAHAHHA
Anyway, the winner is...
KRENIM For the Smurf syndrome.
Runner-up is...
Jeff Raven For the underarm deodorant.
And an honourable mention must go so our very own ladies man... Sol System for effort, and having an unhealthy obsession with STD's...
------------------ "Ray...the next time someone asks you if you're a god you say [i'Yes!'[/i]" -Winston Zeddmore
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