posted
I accept that my lovelife sucks. I poke lots of fun at it; I allow others to poke lots of fun at it. My lovelife sucks, and Rick Berman has a better chance of turning Enterprise into the best Trek series ever than I do of getting involved in a serious long-term relationship with a woman before it's time for me to sucking at the government's teat for my livelihood.
I've been proud of myself the last couple of years. While I'd like to have girlfriend, it hasn't been the pressing desire that it's been in the past. I guess actually having had a date alleviated that desire a bit. Or, possibly, it's because I haven't had a romantic interest in any woman stronger than a mild crush for the past couple years. Regardless, in my priorities, having a romantic relationship ranks lower than making sure to catch the latest Zoids Fuzors episode. And I think that series sucks.
However, Thanksgiving has made me re-examine that space in my heart that should belong to my lover but is currently where I hide my stash of Hostess Ding Dongs from my roommate. Hey, I've got a big heart. The holiday made me realize that, out of my extended family, the only single and never-been-kissed people are myself and my cousin Josh. And Josh is 5th grade special ed student. My cousin Brad used to be on the list, but he's dating a girl now who he boasts has big breasts.
Friday night, I went to a small get-together hosted by my friend Stephen. There were only five of us, and we ate out on the patio because the only open booth in the restaurant was unable to handle my gerth (don't biggie-size my value meal, just biggie-size the eat-in dining areas). Naturally, the topic turned to my lovelife and we spent half an hour making fun of it.
After making the customary jokes at my expense (and it's easy, since I actually own an inflatible European love doll now) and writing down some of the better ones, Martin, Theo, and Jesus started giving me pick-up tips and advice on women. Much later, when I doing my part fo the economy by going to Starbuck's with Stephen and Martin, I realized the irony of all that advice I got. I'm at the point now that I'm getting women advice from gay men.
And I giggled at that because they told me I ought to try picking up chicks at symphony singles night mixers, cat shows, political rallies, and Star Trek conventions.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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Dont forget that you can lose weight and Berman/Braga have three and a half years to make Enterprise great. It's already better than Voyager and half of TOS.
-------------------- Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering. -Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
Jesus is Theo's boyfriend, and that night was the first time I had met him. Really nice guy. I don't think I'll take his advice on where to meet girls at. I'd hate to think what I'd look like after wrestling the cat into the bath to pretty her up for a cat show.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
posted
Hey, at least you HAVE a lovelife. Bizarre or not, that does set you apart from, oh, most of the guys here. B)
Registered: Nov 1999
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Surely people are going to be pissing themselves all the way through the wedding ceremony?
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
So "Gift of God" is dating "God will help"? Har.
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Cartman: Hey, at least you HAVE a lovelife. Bizarre or not, that does set you apart from, oh, most of the guys here. B)
That's the thing, though. I don't really have a lovelife. I took that punk out back, shot it in the head, and buried it in a shallow grave by the creek. And yet, I get women advice and pick-up tips. And, I mean, look at all the guys here who either have girlfriends, recently had girlfriends, or are chick magnets: TSN, The359, Topher, Charles Capps, Sol System, PsyLiam, Omega, Captain Mike, Snay, Krenim, etc. Compared to them, I might as well cut off my fun parts and auction them off on eBay.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
"...the guys here who either have girlfriends, recently had girlfriends, or are chick magnets: TSN..."
Wow. I top the list, and I don't even know which of those things I am. Unless "recently" extends back more than two years.
Registered: Mar 1999
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-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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Hey, I'm in the select group of "person who has gone out with someone else who frequents Flare".
Although, thinking about it, I'm not sure that makes me cooler.
Still, I demand a recount and reordering.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Musicians, by their very nature, are WAY hotter than pretty much everyone else. Play your trumpet in a cool (swing) band, start wearing dark suits and fancy shoes, possibly a hat at a rakish angle. You'll soon be sucking at the honey teat. And since horn players don't have to pack up up a drum-kit or FX pedals and amps after the show, you'll get your pick of the litter. (also if you play Flugel, the ladies will always be curious about your instrument)
I've a story which seems tailor made for our purveyor of things erotique et minscule: before we went out, the hottest woman I've ever dated was going steady with the trumpet-playing midget bandleader of a swing band. The guy wasn't even very good looking. Like not even 4-1/2 feet tall.
Precious Siggy, you're so money and you don't even know it.
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Well, I've been thinking about what Siggy wrote, and I had some sage advice to offer. But then he didn't include me in his list (despite my classic tale of struggling through adversity to find true love), so he can sod off and die alone. 8)
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