posted
Hm... Well, I suppose it depends upon the young lady. There are alternatives to asking her out in person (write a note, have someone ask for you), but these might not be very effective if she's the type who would find them... well, less than effective.
Does she know you? Is there some way you can just have a normal conversation w/ her and, at some point, say "BTW, would you like to go out sometime?"? 'Course, if it's just some girl of whose existence you are aware, but you don't actually know her, this probably wouldn't work.
I suppose the real question is, why am I, of all people, trying to give advice on this, of all subjects?! *L*
I guess, if necessary, take TMBG's advice wherefrom I derived my status line: "Ignore the mountain of discarded folderol." :-)
------------------ "To make the merry-go-round go faster, so that everyone needs to hang on tighter, just to keep from being thrown to the wolves." -They Might Be Giants, "They Might Be Giants"
[This message has been edited by TSN (edited March 18, 2000).]
posted
Well, first of all you CAN'T use your position as a starship captain to help you. Not only is it against Starfleet codes of conduct to use rank in order to make women respond to you, it is also extremely silly, and above all, it would fail because you aren't actually a starship captain. Since they don't exist.
Still, I suppose I could tell you a list of useless platitides like "be yourself", and "if she doesn't respect your ability to list off the registy numbers of all the Nebula-class starships currently in service, then she isn't worth your time". But that's not very helpful. I'd say "imagine her naked in order to quell your fears", but if you want to ask her out, I suspect you've already imagined her naked. You dirty boy.
Actually, advice isn't very helpful. Because in the end, it's up to you. go and ask her out. If she says "yes", then great. If she says "no", then you'll be in exactly the same position. As Marty once said on Frasier, it's not the times when you got rejected that you remember with bitterness, it's the times where you never even tried.
Oh, and although everyone else will probebly poo-poo this, make an effort. Don't go up to her wearing a starfleet comm badge attached to a bright green tank top, withh your greasy hair combed over into a rigid side-parting, with breath that could melt bank vaults and bits of cornflake all over your clothes. Personality may be more important, true, but no-ones ever going to get to your personality if you look like you've been beaten with a nerd stick.
------------------ "Sometimes I wish the planet would be scoured with cleansing fire. Other times I just wish Frank would be." Sol System
posted
And for heaven's sake, be spontaneous! Noe, most people don't really understand this, but spontaneity takes a lot of planning.
For instance, rather than going up to her (having followed Liam's advice regarding appearance) and saying "You want to go out some time?" you might use a slightly different approach: "I'm going to the movies [or the dance, or pizza with friends -- whatever] Friday night. Would you like to come along?"
The first approach allows too much leeway, and it's too vague. You appear to have no idea what you're going to be doing or when. The second approach show's you're a man of decision (hey! You're already planning to go!), you already know what you'll be doing, and you thought enough of her (the woman you're asking, of course) to want her company, if she's willing.
If she says no, listen to how she says no. If she says she'd love to go but she has to wash her hair that evening, you need to start phantasizing about someone else. If she can't go for a real, non-stupid reason, maybe she'd like to go out someother time when she is free.
It's less important to get a date than it is to discover if she's interested or think's you're about as interesting as a bowl of mud. Someone (likely more than one) will think you're pretty special. Find her and ask her out. She'll be more fun and will be interested in more than how much stuff you can buy her before you decide you've spent enough.
Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
How about a more cautious approach?
Instead of asking her out on a date, find a nice coffee shop like the Plantation and ask her out for coffee, hot chocolate, have a nice dessert, yadda yadda.
Bottom line: start small, and work your way up. Don't go too fast or you'll scare her off.
------------------ "My Name is Elmer Fudd, Millionaire. I own a Mansion and a Yacht." Psychiatrist: "Again."
You want to know the funny thing about you mentioning dances, my cartoon bear friend? There is one at school tonight.
I know I'm going to be there....
It is the complete opposite of the Prom, we decorated this morning. We have toilet paper stung everywhere, pop cans, toilet seats, an old couch, tires, dear antlers, an old shop vac, and broken Christmas lights (they weren't broken until we were hanging them, then they broke).
I think, if she's there (she hurt her ankle at the Track meet yesterday), I'll try to start some casual conversation.
Although, she may see some superior saber fighting skils, as I may talk my friend into taking his lightsaber so I can beat him down. Just a thought to do something dumb.....
------------------ Brandon "Enterprise" Grasmick Commanding Officer, USS Sovereign (NCC-74222)
"Captain, the Sona crew are willing to negotiate a cease fire. It may have something to do with the fact that we have 3 minutes of air left." -- Worf
Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges -- In time of war the law falls silent.
posted
I disagree, Baloo. Acting skills (pretending to care) and props (expensive car) are very, very important in attracting the opposite sex, so far as I can tell. Ha ha ha. Ah, cynicism.
At any rate, to toss my clearly uneducated advice in the ring, I suggest learning a few things about the girl first. (Unless of course you already have.)
------------------ "What did it mean to fly? A tremor in your soul. To resist the dull insistance of gravity." -- Camper Van Beethoven
posted
Talk about opening up a can of worms! Hey, just be yourself. The rest will either happen or it won't. If you look at it from a pragmatic point of view, you ask. Either she'll say yes, or you'll be in exactly the same position you were 10 mins before. What have you got to lose?
------------------ "Blind faith is the crutch of fools"
Listen, kid. Just do the deed. Don't try fancy gimmicks, more painful and humiliating accidents have followed the words "watch this!" than any other statement in history.
Hurt ankle, you say? There's your in. Give her a hand in/out of car or door, or with heavy object. If it's a pulled muscle, offer to rub it. (DON'T look as if you're interested in feeling up her leg when you say this! It's DEATH!) The worst she can say is "no."*
Get a conversation going. Ask her if she's seen the "Tigger" movie. (that is, if she's a girl who goes for cute stuff. you gotta adapt your movie to the particular style. someone science or sf or FX oriented, you'd ask if they'd seen 'Mission to Mars' yet. You get the picture.) When you get to somthing she hasn't seen, but seems interested in, ask her if she'd like to go, and tell her its your treat. That's your start. That's how Julie snagged me.
* (Well, actually, the worst she can do is say "AIIGH! NOO! Get away from me you sick freak!" but you probably don't want to be thinking about that, and besides, it only happened to me once, and that's cause I'd forgotten to zip up.)
------------------ "Nobody knows this, but I'm scared all the time... of what I might do, if I ever let go." -- Michael Garibaldi
You wanna know the funny thing about you mentioning me and acting in the same sentence?
I AM an actor (sort of). I played Theseus in Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Nights Dream."
Oh, and Sol, you wanna know the funny thing about you mentioning me and an expensive car? I don't have one. 1992 Ford F-150 all the way!
On Friday, before she hurt her ankle, I gave her a treat as I did the rest of the team. Although, she did get a slightly larger package. One of the things I gave her was a CD of songs that I choicely picked. Perhaps, on the next CD (I make them for myself and other friends), I could record myself reciteing Hamlet's famous "To Be Or Not To Be" soliloquy.
On that note, you all have no idea how hard Shakespeare is to do.
------------------ Brandon "Enterprise" Grasmick Commanding Officer, USS Sovereign (NCC-74222)
"Captain, the Sona crew are willing to negotiate a cease fire. It may have something to do with the fact that we have 3 minutes of air left." -- Worf
Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges -- In time of war the law falls silent.
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