capped
I WAS IN THE FUTURE, IT WAS TOO LATE TO RSVP
Member # 709
posted
what special power do you have to have a thread about your personal life that doesnt get shut down by mentally disabled board members making fun of you within two pages???
oh well.. also, might i suggest a rebound relationship.. go out and find something to occupy your time. i know its not always possible, but it can be a good time.
-------------------- "Are you worried that your thoughts are not quite.. clear?"
Registered: Sep 2001
| IP: Logged
The Real Folk Blues
Ex-Member
posted
this is going to sound cliche', but i have actually been writing poetry of late. maybe i will continue to do that. it is hard to think of other things when you are worrying about how a verse goes together. if anyone is interested, i'll post one. i'm sorry, Cap'n Mike, that your threads about your personal life get ruined. maybe i'm protected by the RX-78 NT1 action figure that is perched over my monitor...
in regards to a rebound relationship, i don't even think i could look at a woman right now. i just wish that i could have given erin everything that she needed. maybe someday i will be able to do that for someone.
[ July 02, 2002, 09:18: Message edited by: The Real Folk Blues ]
IP: Logged
Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
Ew. Breakup "poetry." And I use the term VERY loosely. I usually write it, look at it, & say "Holy FUCK, this is SHIT."
What got me through last time was anthrotropic one-upmanship. I took everything major that she griped over about me & changed it. Got a job, a car, nearby friends...& then I blew it back at her. Hard. IMMENSELY satisfying.
-------------------- "The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"
Registered: Jun 2000
| IP: Logged
The Real Folk Blues
Ex-Member
posted
i don't think mines rubbish. i've taken a couple petrarch courses, you know. and the complaints that erin had are a little more existential than "car, job, friends".
IP: Logged
Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
Same with Heather, but they were all t'do with her & not me.
What's the formula again? Half as long as you were together to get over them? No wonder I got Lindsey so quick. But then...I had an in.
-------------------- "The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"
Registered: Jun 2000
| IP: Logged
The Real Folk Blues
Ex-Member
posted
great, i've got a year and half.
IP: Logged
quote: it's been a month since she left, and i'm suffering actual physical pain.
You are 18? a month feels like a year, but it's only a month. You will move on, everybody goes through something like this at some time in their lives, unless they live in caves and run from people.
-------------------- Sparky:: Think! Question Authority, Authoritatively. “Believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what you see.” EMSparks
Shalamar: To save face, keep lower half shut.
Registered: Jun 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
Things I do after a breakup to take my mind off it:
1) Plan a heist, like in Ocean's Eleven. 2) Shave other peoples dogs and cats in the middle of the night, but otherwise being as nice as I can to the animal, telling them "Your such a GOOD boy!" (if it's male.) 3) Hack into the Pantex mainframe, like in Hackers (though I personally never get past designing my cool GUI, or even getting it to work like they did in that movie) 4) Volunteer at a soup kitchen. 5) Eat cheerios. 6) Play darts at the county fair. 7) Knit a shirt out of the dog and cat hair. 8) Send shirt to former girlfriend. 9) Catalogue every scar and pimple on my body for future posterity. 10) Find a world record that you think you can break, and go for it. I went for the "most carrots eaten in an hour" record, but I failed miserably. Next time I'm going for the "longest time spent on a pogo stick" record.
These are just a few things that I do after a Breakup. I hope this list helps you find a new hobby.
Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged
The Real Folk Blues
Ex-Member
posted
quote: You are 18?
no, i'm not 18. in fact, i'm going to be applying to grad schools this year.
IP: Logged
posted
I was here. It was easily the shittiest time of my life. We lived together. Found them in bed together. I'm still amazed no one died that night. It hurt for a long long time. It takes time, but it does start getting better. I won't lie to you, it never completely goes away, but sometimes you do forget about it for months and months at a time.
Do you have any cynical single friends? Hang out with them. Listen to A LOT of Elvis Costello. Drive your car fast sometimes and listen to music really loud. Paint things. Build sculptures out in the desert and set them on fire. Distract yourself. Of course, the most difficult part, is letting it go. Omega's statements probably seem cruel and harsh, and that's definitely one reaction you can have that is very empowering. The thing is that he's got a point.
When she decided that she did not love and respect you enough to be honest with you and end your relationship before starting another, the girl you loved ceased to exist. She had a choice and she chose to deceive and betray rather than communicate and take difficult action. Ask yourself whether that is a quality you want your significant other to have? It is world-crushingly disappointing that she isn't the person you thought she was, but there isn't anything you can do about that. You may not have realized it, but in some very important ways, she is a weak and selfish person for treating you in such a manner. She is unworthy of your love, and obviously it could not have lasted.
Took me a year and a half. Still a little bitter (obviously). I'm also smarter about this sort of thing. Honesty is very sexy now.
So be bitter. Listen to Elvis Costello. Drive too fast. Don't think about her. Drink some. Get a punching bag. Be busy. Have fun. You are an intelligent young man set to make your mark on the world. There is only one person on earth who is in any way responsible for your happiness. It's up to you to make that happen for yourself.
-------------------- "Nah. The 9th chevron is for changing the ringtone from "grindy-grindy chonk-chonk" to the theme tune to dallas." -Reverend42
Registered: Sep 2000
| IP: Logged
quote:This is going to sound cliche'd, but I have actually been writing poetry of late.
Promise you'll never inflict it upon us. Or else. . .
quote:Maybe I'm protected by the RX-78 NT1 action figure that is perched over my monitor...
That won't protect you from me. Ask any newbie. 8)
(PS: I took the liberty of adding a few capital letters into your quotes. Looks good, doesn't it? Try it sometime)
I suppose I should add something about the topic in question. All I can say is, things will get better. One day you'll look back on this and laugh. With your true beloved at your side, and the fresh memory of seeing your ex hooking for crack downtown. Picturing that kind of future always helps. 8)
quote:Originally posted by The Real Folk Blues: i don't want a new hobby. i want erin back. she wasn't some kind of psycho bitch, who used me and then moved on. she decided that i was not giving her what she needed, and that she needed someone else. i hope she is happy with her choice. she was my world.
Yep, so was my Dee.... Now we are divorced, effective the Tenth of May.... She said I wasn't controlling enough.. WTF??? I didn't have deep enough wallet for her, as I see it...
Although, I was a practising drunk for the majority of our relationship, so I made my one bed....
For the longest time I missed her, she was one part of my binary system, the booze was the other... then my son made it a trinary...
After drinking for a while longer I moved on, it took time, flashes of pain that numbed me....
You'll make it, it'll hurt like fuck for a time, but it will pass.... Like a death give it a year to be out of your system enough to truly function again....
Good luck....
-------------------- "You are a terrible human, Ritten." Magnus "Urgh, you are a sick sick person..." Austin Powers A leek too, pretty much a negi.....
Registered: Sep 2000
| IP: Logged
The Real Folk Blues
Ex-Member
posted
i appreciate the advice everyone has given. if someone had suggested 6 months ago that this was going to happen, i would have said you were insane. i guess that is the story of everyone's life. dammit this sucks. the adjustment to her not being here is one of the hardest things, as i always planned everything with erin in mind. it really is like half of me has been taken.
IP: Logged
posted
Mate, you have to start thinking of yourself as YOU, and not 'us'. Difficult transition to make, but once you realise that fact, you may start to see some light at the end of the tunnel.
Determine what you want. This won't happen in five seconds. Then, do your best to go for it.
In the meantime, spend time with friends and take each day as it comes.
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted
And just maybe if you are still dwelling on "maybe not wanting to go on" talking to the psych folks at your school might be a good idea.
Seriously - I had a cousin shoot himself and I can tell you that it is not worth that. There are (about) 3 billion other women out there several million of which are probally cooler than Erin even if it doesn't seem so just now.
It does take quite awhile, it is very difficult, etc. as above. It is also quite likely a needed step in being able to handle "the one" when she comes along IMHO.
-------------------- Twee bieren tevreden, zullen mijn vriend betalen.
Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic
