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» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Community » Officers' Lounge » Revenge (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Revenge
Omega
Some other beginning's end
Member # 91

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At workcamp a month ago a friend of mine dumped a cooler of water on me while I wasn't looking. I told him I'd get him back, and the time is almost upon us. Revenge is a dish best served cold, with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti.

Camp starts Sunday. I need prank ideas.

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"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

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Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

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Crushed red pepper in his shoes: it's not immeadate, but as he sweats his feet will glow hot like the fires of hell.
Just stand by as he sweats uncontrolably. [Big Grin]

...then again, there's always the ol' blanket party. [Wink]

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Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

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Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343

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How evil & nasty are we getting here? Because we pulled a LOT of harsh shit at camp.

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"The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"

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Omega
Some other beginning's end
Member # 91

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I will not do physical harm to him, or damage or (permanantly) steal his property.

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"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

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Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343

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For sheer humility, nothing beats either a public super wedgie or an incredibly public (read "in front of girl") full-on shorts-&-smalls pantsing.

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"The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"

Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged
Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

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If you have access to a sewing machine, you could bring in his crotch seams by an inch or so.
He'll wonder why his boys are so uncomfortable....
If he wears contacts, you can always replace his Visene with lemon juce.
That would be funny.

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Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

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Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

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Tell the commandant that your friend is secretly transmitting information to the Russians. Then he will be publicly executed as a warning to others, and you can take his shoes and gold fillings!

Because: workcamp.

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Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343

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HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

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"The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"

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Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

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Slip a copy of The Koran into his duffel bag. Highlight any passage dealing with "jihad".
Sure to make him popular.
...of course, that might lead to breaking of the "no physical harm" rule.

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Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

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Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33

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HE will not do any physical harm. It doesn't preclude anyone else. [Big Grin]

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"And slowly, you come to realize, it's all as it should be, you can only do so much. If you're game enough, you could place your trust in me. For the love of life, there's a tradeoff, we could lose it all but we'll go down fighting...." - David Sylvian
FreeSpace 2, the greatest space sim of all time, now remastered!

Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Griffworks
Active Member
Member # 1014

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Jason, lemon juice in the eyes will hurt like a sumbitch! Falls under the "no physical harm" angle he's tring to avoid.


Omega,

You could soak his shoes in water while he's sleeping.

Put baby oil in his hair while he's sleeping.

Uhm... That's all I can immediately think of that doesn't break your rule, tho. Most of the other stuff I can think of won't leave any permanent physical scars, but will sting or be more than simply "prankish". Stuff like making his clothes stink, tearing or ripping underwear, putting ants in his bedsheets, etc....

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Lee
I'm a spy now. Spies are cool.
Member # 393

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A couple of years back, when I still lived in my own flat in London, my flatmate Paul decided he wanted to get back at his old friend Mike in Manchester. They were really good friends, were even working on a laser control program in fact, but Mike had a taste for practical jokes. I can't remember any examples of the jokes he'd perpetrated with Paul as the target, but Paul had decided it was payback time.

Basically the idea he'd come up with was a fake call from the police. We then kicked the plan around until we had a workable scheme. Central to the scheme was the fact that Mike knew me, he had never met or spoken to my new girlfriend, Kate.

Kate then virtually took over the whole plan. She wrote out her script, then sat in Paul's bedroom and made the call, while we waited down the stairs in the lounge (it was a split-level apartment) with cushions shoved in our mouths to muffle the hysterical laughter.

Kate phoned, Mike's wife answered. Kate then made her spiel, that she was DC (Detective Constable) Belinda Gates (Bill Gates' wife, a deliberate gag) of the Metropolitan Police. Mike was called and came on the line. Kate then went on to detail how the police had been observing mail deliveries to a Finsbury Park address, and had just seized a package which had been found to contain Class-A drugs (Mike often sent dope in the post).

Mike wasn't saying a lot at this point.

Kate continued that they now had a certain Mr. Paul ******** in custody and he had named Mike as his supplier. Kate advised him that although he was not under arrest, they would like Mike to go to the local police station and surrender his passport. Mike agreed in a panicky manner, and assured her that no, he wouldn't need them to send a patrol car round to give him a lift.

She then said that they would ring back in a few minutes to ensure he'd found his passport, and to tell him who to report to. She then ended the call.

Panic ensued chez Mike (did I mention that it happened to be his wife's birthday?). He's trying to find his passport, she's saying they need to flush any drugs they have. . . It's at this point Paul himself phoned up, using his real name but identifying himself as a Detective Inspector in the Metropolitan Police. . .

We took turns on the phone so he could rant and rave and call us all sorts of names (I, if memory serves, am a 'cunt') but there was no doubt he'd been got, and got good.

Paul and Mike are still friends - but Mike did get Paul back eventually. I married Kate - well, someone that dangerous, I was afraid what might happen if I didn't! 8)

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Never mind the Phlox - Here's the Phase Pistols

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Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343

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Read Bruce Campbell's autobiography for the best prank ever. It involves a car, a cast of thousands, & the Wyoming law enforcement structure.

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"The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"

Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged
Wraith
Zen Riot Activist
Member # 779

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Well, if this workcamp thing is a proper camp then the best thing to do is wait until he's asleep and then drag him outside in his sleeping bag (carefully so he doesn't wake up). This usually works and is very funny when they wake up.

Or just get him completely hammered and then get him to drink urine.

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"I am an almost extinct breed, an old-fashioned gentleman, which means I can be a cast-iron son-of-a-bitch when it suits me." --Jubal Harshaw

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Omega
Some other beginning's end
Member # 91

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Um... I'm rather sure there'll be no alcohol at church camp. [Smile]

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"This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!"
- God, "God, the Devil and Bob"

Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
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