quote:Originally posted by Omega: If you approach every relationship with the desire for sex in mind, then it's gonna be obvious eventually.
This is a strange phenonemon that occurs in todays society. People all have the impression that only men want sex, and women begrudgingly give it. They do actually enjoy it as well, y'know.
Also, sex really is a part of most relationships of that sort. It should't be the be all and end all of it, but ignoring it also lying, in a different way. Everyone wants sex, whether it be straight away, after 3 dates, or the night of the wedding.
Also also, I think Lee was using humorous language.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Omega: at least you're not friends with the guy she's dating now.
Actually, he and I get along quite well, at least we have until now. Haven't seen either of them since I declared my interest.
Nothing ventured, nothing shagged. 'Course, how long you wait before making the approach, and how you make the approach, is another question entirely. . .
Well, what you've just said is entirely what's wrong with the approach. If you approach every relationship with the desire for sex in mind, then it's gonna be obvious eventually. Be her friend when she needs you, and see what happens. It's worked so well for me, after all.
NO! I tried the "lets be friends first approach (as she "wasnt ready for a relationship" at the time and found myself consigned to the eternal emotional purgatory that is "The Friend ZonE".
quote: Stupid as it sounds, I would like to know she's allright though.
Not stupid. You're a good man, Charlie Brown.
YAh. Thanks. Theres still no real way re-itroduce myself to her. I could get all crafty and locate her new address or work, (unless she didint move and threw her fiance' out) or even just E-Mail her via her AOL IM, but really...what could I say? "Hi! Heard you dumped that drunk you were with, and with *no ulterior motive, I'd like to see you!"
Have I mentioned that love stinks?
None of the girls I've had intimate relations with and things havent worked out with have any lasting impression on my psyche and yet this one woman is on my mind at least once a week.
The self-introspection is the worst.
I say FUCK IT. You cant help who you fall in love with anyway.
-------------------- Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering. -Aeschylus, Agamemnon
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All dames are alike: they reach down your throat and they can grab your heart, pull it out and they throw it on the floor, step on it with their high heels, spit on it, shove it in the oven and cook the shit out of it. Then they slice it into little pieces, slam it on a hunk of toast, and serve it to you and then expect you to say, "Thanks, honey, it was delicious."
Registered: Aug 1999
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Cartman
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posted
"If you approach every relationship with the desire for sex in mind, then it's gonna be obvious eventually."
And if you approach every relationship with the desire for marriage in mind, then it's going to be even MORE obvious.
Registered: Nov 1999
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posted
Styrofoaman and I dated for 16 years. One thing after another kept getting in the way... but in the end we got together. I knew from the moment I met him that I'd end up in a long term relationship with him but I had no idea it would lead down this road.
All relationships are based on sex. It's the driving force in nature. After all sex at it's core is used for reproduction. The desire to propagate the species is programed in to most people... its when that drive gets mixed up with emotions that we end up in these kinds of situations.
Jason, Omega... Don't know what advice to offer other than good luck.
-------------------- Experience Is What You Get When You Don't Get What You Want.
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
I tried the "lets be friends first approach (as she "wasnt ready for a relationship" at the time) and found myself consigned to the eternal emotional purgatory that is "The Friend ZonE".
If the girl's not interested, she's not interested. But she might be more likely to be interested if she thought you cared about her personally, as opposed to thinking you just want to get into her pants. (Not to say that's what I think you want, just that she might think that.)
And if you approach every relationship with the desire for marriage in mind, then it's going to be even MORE obvious.
Yes, but women don't generally MIND that approach.
All relationships are based on sex.
How Nietzchean. Sorry, but you're entirely wrong. Fulfilling emotional relationships can exist without any hint of sexuality.
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Omega: Sorry, but you're entirely wrong. Fulfilling emotional relationships can exist without any hint of sexuality.
Sorry, but that is all so much unmitigated bullshit.
There one purpose and one purpose ONLY to life as we know it: Reproduction. Sex. Everything else is an elaborate charade we build around it in order to convince ourselves that we're somehow "more highly evolved/enlightened" than all other lifeforms on this planet.
Am I a cynical, mildly misanthropic, occasionally suicidal nihilist who "lacks a relationship with God"? You bet. Cheers!
-MMoM
-------------------- The flaws we find most objectionable in others are often those we recognize in ourselves.
Registered: Jun 2001
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"Fulfilling emotional relationships can exist without any hint of sexuality."
Right. It's called "friendship". Which is obviously not what you're looking for, or you wouldn't care whether these girls were having romantic relationships with guys who aren't you.
Registered: Mar 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Omega: And if you approach every relationship with the desire for marriage in mind, then it's going to be even MORE obvious.
Yes, but women don't generally MIND that approach.
True. The opener "Hi, do you want to go out, and then maybe get married" works brilliantly, I find. Especially if I want to scare them off.
You know strange women.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Except they don't, as none of them are going out with you.
I also think there's something fundamentally wrong with approaching the start of each relationship with marriage in mind. It creates an all or nothing situation. It prevents you from having small relationships, getting an idea of what you actually want, not what you think you want. It prevents you from getting any experience at dealing with having an "other half".
If a girl responds to the question "do you want to go out" by thinking "would this man make a good father for my children", then the relationship really isn't starting off on the most healthy foot.
And you've ignored Tim's point too. Chicken.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Except they don't, as none of them are going out with you.
No, no, that means I don't suit THEM.
I also think there's something fundamentally wrong with approaching the start of each relationship with marriage in mind. It creates an all or nothing situation. It prevents you from having small relationships, getting an idea of what you actually want, not what you think you want. It prevents you from getting any experience at dealing with having an "other half".
Why would it do those things? There seems to be a logical leap in there.
If a girl responds to the question "do you want to go out" by thinking "would this man make a good father for my children", then the relationship really isn't starting off on the most healthy foot.
You seem to be assuming that I consider a date to be equivalent to a relationship. I don't. So there.
And you've ignored Tim's point too. Chicken.
What point? I disagree with his definition, much like I disagree that all romantic relationships must be based around sex and reproduction. That much is obvious from my prior posts. We seem to have a disagreement about basic precepts, so what more is there to say?
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Omega: You seem to be assuming that I consider a date to be equivalent to a relationship. I don't. So there.
So when does it become one? After three dates? Five? And does it go straight from "date" to "I'm waiting for him to propose"?
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
It may come as a great surprise to you, Liam, but every relationship is different.
-------------------- "This is why you people think I'm so unknowable. You don't listen!" - God, "God, the Devil and Bob"
Registered: Mar 1999
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