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70. In the event that a car's brakes fail, it will always occur on a windy mountain road.
70a. If the Good Guys are driving the car, they can always jump to safety no matter the speed of the car (and without injury).
70b. If the Bad Guys are driving the car, the door handles on the inside fall off and their seat belt buckles will fuse shut, preventing them from escaping the car.
70c. In any case, a car departing the road via a cliff will invariably explode, often before it hits the ground below.
------------------ I get to drive against real drivers, one of whom is named Dick Trickle. I think that explains why that gentleman went into the world of high-power automobile combat. A lifetime of taunts, no doubt. -- James Lileks
posted
71. An advanced computer has no user interface, but is a huge box with many blinking lights.
72. While a craftsman is in the house, women are always tanning at the pool. The craftsman is never older than 40 years.
73. Appointments in a restaurant ar always possible the same evening and there's always a table free.
74. Any revolutionary invention can be expressed in a single formula.
75. Machines are usually constructed by physics professors, not by engineers.
76. The capital crime rate among scientists is extremely high.
77. The more expensive the furniture and artifacts in the office of a company boss are, the more probably he is involved in criminal activities and the more probably this office will be devastated.
78. The bad guy has a black hat/car/cat.
79. As soon as at least three Americans under 35 are together, they talk about nothing but sex.
80. The availability of women for a relationship is proportional to her attractiveness.
posted
Gentlepeople, this is a very interesting thread. I am sure that it holds true for many movies. There is one problem-I don't watch movies on a weekly basis, actually rarely at all. For our family, the price of seeing a movie, going to a ball game, or visiting a museum is a luxury. Could someone present a list of the movies that are being mentioned in this thread? Thank you.
IP: Logged
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Trinculo: It would be easier to list all the movies (made within the last 30 years, anyhow) that dod not contain most or all of these elements. The American ones, anyway.
One of my fave movies is an English oldie: "the Private Life of Henry VIII". It starred Charles Laughton and was considered quite risque when it was released in the '30s.
--Baloo
------------------ I learned something: it is not enough to not buy the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. It is important that you not want to buy it. It is crucial for your ranking as a domesticated male that you actually hold the entire enterprise in bemused contempt, like a eunuch dropped in Salome's lap. -- James Lileks
Saltah'na
Chinese Canadian, or 75% Commie Bastard.
Member # 33
posted
83. If the movie involves a natural disaster, there is always a rival who is always male, who usually says "Oh don't worry about it", then dies a horrible death.
84. If the good guy is wounded, his wound tends to be not serious. If the bad guy is wounded, his wound is always fatal.
------------------ I can resist anything....... Except Temptation
85. If a good guy who is listed as Also starring is shot, he will still have the ability to speak, but know instinctively that there is no point calling for an ambulance.
85a. If the person lives in the Wild West, he will cough and splutter a lot while dying, and say 'Tell momma...'
86. If an Also Starring person IS shot, they will wait until 4 seconds before they die before actually telling the hero any vital information.
87. Good buys don't need to lock their carns. Slamming the door while looking moody is good enough.
88. During a car chase, piles of boxes will suddenly become commonplace.
88a. Failing a pile of boxes, a fruit & veg stand will do.
88b. The road will suddenly become very bumpy, and cars will be able to achieve momentary flight.
88c (special case). If the car chase occurs in London, the car will always swerve to avoid one red bus, and one black cab, unless the chase is occuring in a black cab. ------------------ 'Those are the headlines. Happy now?' -Chris Morris.
[This message was edited by PsyLiam on April 23, 1999.]
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