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What would happen if Jesus came back to life and told us he was here to save us all, and at the same time a fleet of aliens were landing at the White House to greet humanity. Heheh, the fun that would ensue. Like mixing pop rocks and soda.
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Jesus was an alien so there'd be no conflict....only many disappointed baptists.
-------------------- Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering. -Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Registered: Aug 2002
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They'll land on Easter Island, summon all the Faithfuls (the statue-keepers) and fly away to Eden. Big "D'oh!" for the rest of us.
Registered: Aug 1999
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-------------------- Lister: Don't give me the "Star Trek" crap! It's too early in the morning. - Red Dwarf "The Last Day"
Registered: Nov 1999
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It would be great if Jesus came back and walked into a gay bar and got drunk. Not because Jesus is gay, just because all those moronic assholes who keep using the Bible as an excuse to be homophobic would shoot themselves in the head.
quote:It would be great if Jesus came back and walked into a gay bar and got drunk. Not because Jesus is gay,
Well he did hang around with twelve guys all the time, had a hooker as as good friend and no mention of him boinking her, so maybe he would head straight(pun intended) for a gay bar.
-------------------- "and none of your usual boobery." M. Burns
Registered: Oct 2001
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I think Jesus coming back and, while addressing the faithful, going off on the William Shatner-on-SNL "Get a Life!" speech would be funny. But then again, I still like whoopie cushions. And rubber chickens.
-------------------- The philosopher's stone. Those who possess it are no longer bound by the laws of equivalent exchange in alchemy. They gain without sacrifice and create without equal exchange. We searched for it, and we found it.
Registered: Mar 1999
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"Welcome to the Dr. Jesus Show - Today, a mother confronts her son with her homosexuality - and helps him deal with her new Lesbian wife..."
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"Next week on the Dr. Jesus show:"
Jesus: "Mrs Jones - tell him what you are feeling!
Mrs Jones: "I am feeling used, uncared for...."
Mr. Jones: "Whaddaya mean uncared for; i've been paying for your goddamned pedacures and booze for 15 Goddamned years...."
Jesus: "Now, you've taken the Lord's name in vain!"
Mr. Jones: Well of course he's vain - why else would he want millions to worship him..
That's next week on Dr. Jesus Show...
Registered: Nov 1999
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Oh, come on, Jesus was doing Mary Magdeline on a twice-nightly basis.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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Psyliam: "Oh, come on, Jesus was doing Mary Magdeline on a twice-nightly basis."
*meanwhile, on the other side of the planet* Traveling Cardinal #1: "Hmm, why are my hands tingling suddenly?" TC #2: "Yours' too?"
Registered: Aug 1999
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