I hate my house. As some of you know, I've long complained about my moronic brother, who's an egotistical bastard, but now I've got two of these people to deal with in the family. A few facts about my brother for those who don't know: he's seventeen years old, cares for nothing but himself and his own convenience, breaks promises at his leisure, lies constantly, never admits mistakes (even when he's obviously wrong, he'd deny it to the end), makes double standards for himself, has no motivation whatsoever (aka lazy), never lifts a finger for a family member (for example, I'd ask him to change the channel since the remote's right next to him, and he'd refuse and tell me to get the remote myself. For one of his friends, on the other hand�), and calls me stupid and puts me down every chance he got (he snickered loudly when I told my mom that I didn�t get into Princeton).
Now, I haven't lived with my dad for seven years because he worked in Taiwan and my mom and my brother had moved here (he visited about three or four times a year, two weeks at a time). Last June, he retired and came to live with us. That was when I realized where my brother inherited his unique qualities. My dad is not near as egotistical, but he�s got that problem of never admitting mistakes�and he doesn�t even know it! One time I overheard him trying to lecture my brother into admitting his mistakes! He makes corny Chinese puns out of English words and compares every person, place, object, or event to something from Taiwan (which I can slightly understand since he�s only been here for a year). He criticizes every little thing he sees: people on TV, people from my mom�s church, my mom, my brother (as much as I hate the child, I hate my dad for criticizing him instead of helping him), and just today, he was criticizing how a neighbor waters the lawn while we drove by. On numerous occasions, he called my mom stupid for something she did and said how she should�ve done and what she should�ve thought instead of comforting her. He takes ESL classes at a community college around here, and he used to take classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, the same days that my mom works (she a nurse and works every other day). This semester he changed classes to Tuesdays and Thursdays, and one time when he had another argument with my mom, he not only told her she was stupid, he said that he changed his classes to days she didn�t work so he didn�t have to deal with her stupidity. All I could think was: �Why in HELL did you marry this guy?� The truth is, my mom was 25 at the time and my dad was 35, and one time she said she thought he�d change after they got married. (Good God�in my religion class last year, that�s one of the things we�re taught that does NOT happen�if they do change, they change for the worse.) Recently when we were watching Voyager, my dad snickered when he saw Seven of Nine. After one or two scenes, he said, �those must�ve been stuffed.� I was so enraged I just turned to him and yelled �SHUT UP!!� His criticisms are almost never directed toward me, but I feel every word.
On top of that, his interests are the exact opposite of mine. I like fantasy and science-fiction. His favorite show is �Real TV.� Occasionally he�d be sitting in the living room while I watch Voyager, and his favorite phrase would be �that�s such a lie!� (in Mandarin, of course). As for my writing, he had read one of my stories once (one I wrote in 9th grade), and he told me, �I can�t find some of these words in the dictionary� (duh, that�s because I invented them) and �you shouldn�t use so many hard words so that other people can�t read.� He�s still dreaming of going back to Taiwan or to China to earn more money, and when he found out I�m gonna major in English, he said to me �oh, you can go to Taiwan or China and teach English� (yeah, right) and �writers in Taiwan don�t earn any money.� (Where do we live again?) Oh, and while both my dad and brother barely scratch the surface of some things, they think they know everything about the subject. Favorite motto when someone asks �how do you know?�: �That�s the way it is!�
Thank god I�m moving out in three months. I�m sorry to leave my high school though. It has been more of a home to me than my family is.
*end vent*
------------------ "One more day before the storm At the barricades of freedom! When our ranks begin to form Will you take your place with me?" --Enjolras, "One Day More," Les Miserables
posted
Well, if you're as free in Canada as we are in America, you can move out as soon as you are able to support yourself. In the meantime, you can respect the man as your father while at the same time disapproving of his rude, obnoxious behavior. He obviously never went to charm school (or if he did, he was expelled ).
I heard my favorite response to such people in the movie "Shadowlands". The movie was about C.S. Lewis -- Christian apologist, science fiction writer, and author of "The Narnian Chronicles", and how he met, married, and fell in love with an American divorcee (in that order). He was portrayed by the same guy who portrayed Hannibal Lechter in "Silence of the Lambs". Weird. Good movie, though. Anthony Hopkins can really act.
The line is: "Are you trying to be rude or are you just stupid?"
I don't know if it'll help, but sometimes just thinking about it makes me feel better.
--Baloo
------------------ "When you�re a geek . . . You�re a geek all the way, From your first sci-fi con To your last dying day." -- James Lileks http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/
posted
Baloo, it might be more appropriate to ask how free people are in Los Angeles...
------------------ "Oh, it's an anti-anti-WTO song. It's essentially a pro-Starbucks song. I saw this picture of a guy sticking his foot through a plate-glass window in a Starbucks in Seattle, and he was wearing a Nike. Man, couldn't you just change your shoes?" -- M. Doughty
posted
Whatever. The point my tired mind was trying to make above, however, doesn't seem to be shining through to my more-rested brain. (Canada? Whups!)
What I meant was that until Tora can arrange to move, it might do his sanity a bit of good to find ways to avoid confronting his hammerhead of a dad. If he's everything he's described to be, there's no way you can get through to him. Confronting him will only p*ss him off more and make you his new favorite target. It's sad that your mother had the bad judgement to have sex with such an obnoxious creature, but them's the breaks.
When you can legally (and financially) do so, I would recommend moving out ASAP. The lower standard of living will be more than compensated for by the additional peace of mind. Meanwhile, stay in your bunker and keep your head down.
--Baloo
------------------ "When you�re a geek . . . You�re a geek all the way, From your first sci-fi con To your last dying day." -- James Lileks http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/
posted
...and try to cultivate a feeling of superiority... it does wonders when you're surrounded by pinheads. Stuff just rolls off of you and you can shrug off their most idiotic behaviour just by remembering that you're vastly superior to them all.
Mom: "I can't understand why you watch this unrealistic junk!"
Me: (speech) "yeah, whatever." Me: (thought) THIS from a woman who doesn't miss an episode of "Young and the Restless." Pinhead. I am superior.
Of course, having a second TV to retreat to helps, too. I've cultivated isolation for a long time. Now they don't even ask me what I'm doing or why I spend all my time alone. Use big words (and alliteration) as an added shield. "What're you doing?" "Pondering the logistics of the potential for patricide." "Oh, that's nice."
------------------ "Nobody knows this, but I'm scared all the time... of what I might do, if I ever let go." -- Michael Garibaldi
posted
Really? I'd have said that your not really experiencing university UNLESS you've moved out of your parents house.
When you're at uni you do what you want, when you want. You don't HAVE to go to lectures. You choose to go to lectures. It makes a huge difference. And if there's an important reason why you can't go (for example, Wheel of Fortune is on) then it's your decision. And no-one can tell you what to do.
And that Taiwan thing sounds very similar to some Scottish relatives of mine. My sister's married to a Scot, and his family came down here recently. The kids said that they hated England, because it was "so crowded". And our TV's really bad. Which is weird, because it's pretty much the same TV. And the dad complained that when the News covers Football, it's aboout 80% English and 20% Scottish. Of course, there ARE a lot more English people that Scottish, so they are being fair... Plus, he said that the Scottish were easy going, and far more relaxed than the English, and that our pubs are crap, our beer is shit, everyone's rude, the traffics awful, our football team is shit (mayby, but Scotland isn't exactly setting the world alight), and generally made all those comments that I make about French people, but without my toungue-in-cheek snese of humour. And then he said that WE were racist.
Wow, I went off the topic there. And Monty's probably gonna kill me.
Don't worry Tora. You'll be out of there in three months. Then you can live your life. And do some funky dancing.
------------------ *Amusing quote not available, please call back later*
posted
Thankfully I'm dorming at the university, which I insisted on doing even though USC is twenty minute's drive from my house. I get more financial aid for dorming, so it's not that bad. My parents and I have to pay about $8000 a year, that's including living expenses. I won't have to live with them for 2/3 of the year, and I'll just move out completely at the end of the four years.
------------------ "One more day before the storm At the barricades of freedom! When our ranks begin to form Will you take your place with me?" --Enjolras, "One Day More," Les Miserables
------------------ "Oh, it's an anti-anti-WTO song. It's essentially a pro-Starbucks song. I saw this picture of a guy sticking his foot through a plate-glass window in a Starbucks in Seattle, and he was wearing a Nike. Man, couldn't you just change your shoes?" -- M. Doughty
posted
Trying to make it on your own, in the real world, while you're still in school, SUCKS.....
I can say this from some personal experience right now... it's not fun, it's not easy, and it's NOT a low stress way of life....
The way I see it (and believe me, I can feel where you're ocming from, Tora....) is if you CAN live at home (ie. it's a safe and not TRULY damaging way of life) then do it.... inconveniences and annoyances are a MUCH better way of life than drowning in debt before the age of 20, while still dealing with the stress of school, life, work, and everything else....
But that's just my take... and it's late, so my take has lost much of it's credibility....
quote:"What're you doing?" "Pondering the logistics of the potential for patricide." "Oh, that's nice."
Shouldn't laugh.
Laughs anyway.
------------------ Remember December '59 The howling wind and the driving rain, Remember the gallant men who drowned On the lifeboat, Mona was her name.
------------------ "When you�re a geek . . . You�re a geek all the way, From your first sci-fi con To your last dying day." -- James Lileks http://www.geocities.com/cyrano_jones.geo/
posted
Okay, I asked before, but since I didn't make a gay joke, I was ignored.
How exactly does the university/college system work in the US?
Here, it goes something like thig:
Roughly �300 per year tuition fees. If your parents don't earn enough money, you don't have to pay them. You get a loan based on how much your parents own. The maximum is three installments of �1400 per year (roughly). If your parents earn a bit, it's usually around 3 x �1000. Almost everyone lives in halls for their first year, then gets a flat/house with their mates. I'm sharing with three other people, and it works out as �150 a month each. Which is cheap for London, but about average for the rest of the country.
You have to pay the loan back, but not until you earn (I think) around �30,000 p.a.
Oh, and you have to pay to live in halls, but I don't know how much that is.
And you usually spend �20-100 a week going out.
A lot of people have part-time jobs as well (working in shops on Saturdays for example), and then get more work over the summer.
------------------ *Amusing quote not available, please call back later*
posted
Uh, Liam? 300 pounds...a year? That's, according to this nifty currency exchanger thing, 457 dollars and 71 cents.
That's almost 100 dollars less then I pay per quarter. That's three times a year. And I go to one of the cheaper schools in this state.
Do you have a spare bed?
------------------ "Oh, it's an anti-anti-WTO song. It's essentially a pro-Starbucks song. I saw this picture of a guy sticking his foot through a plate-glass window in a Starbucks in Seattle, and he was wearing a Nike. Man, couldn't you just change your shoes?" -- M. Doughty
posted
IIRC, in-state public tuition tends to be about $5,000, out-of-state tends to be twice that, and private colleges are usually $20,000-$30,000. That's not accounting for financial aid, though.
------------------ Frank's Home Page John Flansburgh: "This song is so old that it's actually featured on our brand new record." John Linnell: "It's one of those year 2000 problems."
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