The First One
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed
Member # 35
posted August 08, 1999 11:17 PM
Picard: *reads* "'Congratulations on purchasing your Galaxy-class Starship. . .' blah, blah. . . ah: Lighting. 'It is recommended that in the event of a feature film being made, lighting levels that were previously suitable for television be toned down to account for the different film stock.' Damn. Ooh, what's this? 'In the event of the Ship's Counsellor taking the helm, your warranty will become invalid.' Sure, like THAT's gonna happen!"
Registered: Mar 1999
| IP: Logged
posted August 09, 1999 08:21 AM
Sssh, Jubes; it's a typo. I realised that later (at TrekSunday). If you hadn't pointed it out, no one would've noticed!
------------------ Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
posted August 09, 1999 04:22 PM
Picard: *reading aloud*
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Picard: Computer, define "tuffet."
Computer: Function: noun Etymology: alteration of tuft Date: 1553 1 : TUFT 1a 2 : a low seat
Picard: Very good. Now to continue reading.
eating her curds and whey,
Picard: Replicator, curds and whey please. *looks at the mush* Why in the hell would anyone eat this? Well, now for the last bit of the rhyme.
Along came a spider, who sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away
Picard: Picard to Crusher.
Crusher: Crusher here captain.
Picard: Beverly, you have studied the processes of fear correct?
Crusher: Well, it has been some time, but the answer is yes.
Picard: Good, good. I am working on the deconstruction of a ancient rhyme and was wondering why a simple arachnid would induce fear and loathing in a small earth female.
------------------ You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies! They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup. It tastes like ketchup. But brother, it ain't ketchup! ~Homer Simpson
[This message has been edited by Jay (edited August 10, 1999).]
posted August 09, 1999 07:07 PM
*Picard reads over his Starfleet yearbook*
Picard: Don't remember this note before... "Stinky-Best of luck, and don't let them Naussicans get you down. You'll be captain of a starship yet!--Joey"
*slams book shut* Arg! I told him not to write "Stinky"!
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posted August 10, 1999 02:35 AM
Jean-Luc Picard rereads the lines to his solo before going on-stage for the production of "Hair! I Can Live Forever!"
------------------ Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
posted August 10, 1999 05:16 PM
"The Necronomicon, Chapter 666: Making Stars Explode. Hmmm... How-to, Moral Implications of, Minimum safe distance from, Dire warnings against. Ahh, here we are: Undo, see Page 136. Okay, Page 133, 134, 135, 137....Uh-oh."
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted August 11, 1999 10:50 PM
Picard: "Okay, that didn't work the way I planned. Lets see if there is a 'Turn gold back into a Galaxy class starship' spell...."
------------------ "Okay! No more mister knive guy!"
posted August 13, 1999 11:39 PM
"How do you do. My name is Alfred Hitchcock, and I'd like to tell you about my new motion picture, coming soon to this theatre."
------------------ The unexplained phenomenon that crippled the U.S.S. Unimpeachable -- Gaseous Anomaly... What anomalises gaseously.
posted August 15, 1999 11:55 AM
Picard is satisfied when he has finished scribing the first official "Velocity of an unladen swallow" book.
------------------ Elim Garak: "Oh, it's just Garak. Plain, simple Garak. Now, good day to you, Doctor. I'm so glad to have made such an... interesting new friend today." (DS9: "Past Prologue")
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