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» Flare Sci-Fi Forums » Community » The Flameboard » Roasting the US (Page 4)

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Author Topic: Roasting the US
Nim
The Aardvark asked for a dagger
Member # 205

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Before I fall asleep on the way to the bed, it being 4:30 AM here, I have to inform you that Sweden is in fact the best country of all times, so you can end this pointless bickering of yours.

-We haven't participated in a war for over a hundred years. (We supress anger and get strokes instead!)

-We have a fully functional health care program that doesn't leave anyone out.

-We have our nice JAS 39 Gripen fighter-plane, that although malfunctioning will earn us many billions from South Africa and South America.

-A KING! (Although a retard, he shows the rest of the worlds regents visiting how harmless Sweden is."

-VOLVO, SAAB, ERICSSON, IKEA!!!

-A broad variety of artists like ABBA, Ace Of Base, Jennifer Brown, Eagle-Eye Cherry, Meja, Electric Boys, who, although each and everyone of them is selling themselves to foreign record companies, leaving Sweden with a gigantic, non-profital music industry, makes us feel good about ourselves.

-Vodka.

-Totally mad-cow-free meat from trustworthy farmers.(Or so they say!?)

-A wide selection of bimbos like the Graaf sisters, Victoria Silvstedt, Britt Ekland and Zsa Zsa Gabor
(No wait, that can't be right) who themselves strengthen the myth of us Swedes being blonde, blue-eyed and willing. (A sheer coincedence that yours truly is blonde, blue-eyed and...well uh)

-We have a bunch of neighbours (Norway, Denmark, Finland) with flags that are so similar to ours that no one except us can tell the difference, thereby protecting us if someone would want to nuke us.

-Mr Dolph. (His real name's Rolf, but we're not supposed to know that, so sschhhh)

-And of course the mighty laplanders! (who are almost finished exterminating our once mighty wolf, wolverine and lynx because they are a threat to their deer-stock.)

-If I missed anything (like our very low cultural self-esteem, occasionally making us whine to other people about our problems) you can just mail me and I will keep on ranting and raving in my flat here, talking to a computer screen, pretending that I can make myself heard. O chucks, now I get all moisty-eyed.

BIG

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Hickory Is Nice!!!
(Jem 'Hadar Wash-out)


Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged
Nim
The Aardvark asked for a dagger
Member # 205

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Boy, that felt good!

------------------
Hickory Is Nice!!!
(Jem 'Hadar Wash-out)


Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged
Kosh
Perpetual Member
Member # 167

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Yes

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WHO ARE YOU?



Registered: Jun 1999  |  IP: Logged
Malnurtured Snay
Blogger
Member # 411

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I'm inebriated.

Therefore, it is okay to ressurect very old threads for no real purpose what-so-ever.

It's maybe 3am as I type this. I can't wait to see the ire I earn because of this.

I love you all!!!! Especially the deer!!!

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www.malnurturedsnay.net


Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
BlueElectron
Active Member
Member # 281

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You go Jeff!!!

"Man-Train" them deers!!

YEAHHHH!!!!!

--------------------
"George Washington said, 'I cannot tell a lie.'
Richard Nixon said, 'I cannot tell the truth.'
Bill Clinton said, 'I cannot tell the difference.'"

-- comedian TOM SMOTHERS, from his latest stage act with brother DICK SMOTHERS.


Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Malnurtured Snay
Blogger
Member # 411

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Is it possible?

IS BE REALLY ULTRA MAGNUS?!



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www.malnurturedsnay.net

Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
MIB
Ex-Member


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Uhhhhhhh. I have no clue how this thread came to being. Nor do I care. I just feel that, for the most part, the U.S. and Canada are equal. We may be better than the Canadians in some fronts, but the Canadians are better than us in others.
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Sol System
two dollar pistol
Member # 30

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*sigh*

Roasting America: Cafe-style Dining for 200 Million or More

Ingredients:

Many chefs differ on what should constitute a true american roast. The French schools which invented the dish tended to pick and choose from cities all over northern continent. A thousand citizens of Whitehorse. Half the population of Santa Barbara. Several hundred acres of biomatter from the Olympic Penninsula.

But the version most familiar to modern gourmets comes from the great chef Robert Whithinhorningsten-Bassett, of Swindon. His innovation, to use the entire mass of just one country to prepare a feast fit for a king, or the conscientious diner, has since been made famous in finer establishments the world over. The ingredients are as follows:

1.) The entire population of the United States of America.

2.) The Catskills, the Sierras, the Rockies, and the Cascades. (Cascades optional for those worried about spices. See Currys; gigantic and made from lava, for more Cascade recipes.)

3.) Cities. Five good sized-ones, preferably from the midwest. Minneapolis is a particular favorite of the author's.

Once you've gathered your ingredients, the roast almost makes itself.

1.) Blend Catskills, Rockies, and Sierras into thick paste. Spread paste around the bottom and sides of bowl. (The Great Lakes do nicely in terms of size, and are also conveniently located.) This forms the body of your roast.

2.) Add humans. You can prepare them in any way you please, the more inventive the better. In a pinch, simply grinding them into a hamburger-like consistancy will do, but don't expect to win any prizes. Try chopping them into thin, almost fillet-like strips for a pleasing texture that's easy to prepare.

3.) Inbetween layers of humans, add ground Cascade.

4.) Bring oven to 700,000 degrees.

5.) The top of the roast provides another opportunity for your creativity to shine through. Consider taking your cities and placing them in the mix whole. A very pleasing visual effect can be had this way. Grinding them up and crafting them into other exotic shapes is another option.

6.) Cook for seventeen months.

7.) Allow your roast to sit for several hours before serving with a nice garnish of either parsley or fruit. Enjoy!


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
Constellation of One
Member
Member # 332

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"When will you people learn that there is no superior and no inferior, we're all equal?"

ARE YOU FREAKING'INSANE?

Perhaps on a "we're all human beings" level, but on a national level? Is Afghanistan equal to Canada? Hell, no! Canada possesses an enlightened, modern representative democracy, even if you lot do keep that monarchist, mostly German Queen on your coins (just kidding! I like the Queen!). Last I checked, the Canadian government hasn't outlawed soccer matches, publicly shot women for showing a little ankle, nor beheaded men for not growing their beards long enough. If it is your intention to hold Canada up as "better" than the USA, or to any nation, then by definition, your above-quoted statement makes no sense.

By the way, even on a "we're all human beings" level, I would unhesitatingly argue that I'm a better person that Osama bin Laden. I've never murdered thousands, except while playing Halflife, and I really don't care what religion you follow, as long as you leave me alone while practicing it. I won't try to kill you for being a Jew, Christian, or "other." In short, I'm an American who believes in the Constitution, the first truly republican document ever written.


Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
PsyLiam
Hungry for you
Member # 73

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Hmm. I was a lot funnier two years ago...

And since Nimmy posted that list of while Sweden rules, a new factor has come into play. A factor which proves that Sweden does, indeed, rule.

Thank you, Mr Ericson.

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Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
TSN
I'm... from Earth.
Member # 31

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Well, isn't that nice...

Now, would everyone who cares, please raise their hand? Anyone? No? Alright...

Back to the jokes it is, then...


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
PsyLiam
Hungry for you
Member # 73

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A bowl of Rice Krispies walks into a restaurant. A waiter goes up to it and says,

"I'm sorry, but we don't serve breakfast here."

*rim shot*

--------------------
Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
TSN
I'm... from Earth.
Member # 31

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When geese fly in a 'V' formation, you know why one side of the 'V' is longer than the other?

There are more geese on that side.

*rimshot*


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
OnToMars
Now on to the making of films!
Member # 621

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Three guys walk into a bar.

The fourth guy ducks.

::rimshot::

--------------------
If God didn't want us to fly, he wouldn't have given us Bernoulli's Principle.


Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Curry Monster
Somewhere in Australia
Member # 12

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Why did the boat stop in the middle of the river?

Because it hit a log.


Just had to contribute to that unparrelled quality.


Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged
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