posted
Well, slightly, in a "yes it is" kinda way.
After all, the original God wasn't working out. People weren't pleased when he kept smiting them. Getting someone to kill his virgin daughters didn't endear him to the public either. And as for that flood...
So his PR men talked to him, and we got "New and improved New Testement God! Now comes with 100% forgiveness power! You've shot your own mother? Say sorry, you'll be in heaven! You stole someone's Charizard card? As long as God can have your Japanese Neo, you'll be a shoe-in. Everyone's now welcome in heaven! Buy God now. Comes complete with Son of God: Jesus. Tired of remembering all those commandments? Ten too much for you? Don't worry. Jesus is here to make your life easier. Now there's just TWO, yes, TWO commandments. What a great offer. Order your Jesus and God now, and we'll even throw in a bonus Holy Spirit. Understand foreign friends and New York cabbies. WARNING: Holy Spirit does not work on Geordie's."
"God. Available in all good churches. And most bad ones too."
------------------ "Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy
[This message has been edited by PsyLiam (edited August 05, 2000).]
------------------ "Dreams are the excrement of the mind, feces are the excrement of the body, and laughter is teh excrement of the soul." --Anonymous Indian guru
------------------ Lori, you lack...subtlety. You came from a military family; I knew both your parents very well. They thought in black and white. You think in black and white. No shades of grey whatsoever...and diplomacy is all shades of grey. - Star Trek: The Lost Years
A real diplomat is one who can cut his neighbour�s throat without having his neighbour notice it. � Trygve Lie
posted
I should proabably know what the Tribulation is. But I don't. Please use this opportunity to make me feel like an idiot by telling me what it is. This offer is open to everyone.
BTW, I'm still confused by this "Annointed class of 2003" thing. What''s happening to you Bryce in 2003?
------------------ "Why do you want to spend time with a deer? They're so stupid, they get hypnotized by headlights!" - Guido Anchovy
posted
In 2003 I will graduate from college and my class name is Anointed. Every class at Asbury College has a name.
The Tribulation is talked about throughout all the Bible (but you have to know what you are looking for) and is the subject of, say half, of Revelation. You need a little background information, first.
The end of the world will begin with the Rapture of the church. We will be taken up to Heaven before the Tribulation. The Tribulation (and you'll find two different amounts of time...they are 3.5 and 7 years, most people believe 7) is the 7 year period after the Rapture where non-believers have one last chance to convert or to remain unbelievers. Lots of horrible things happen that either make people believe in God or to further reject Him and massacre the new believers. After the 7 year Tribulation, Christ will come the 2nd time and judge everyone who has ever lived. Some will go to Heaven, others will be cast to Hades and then Christ will reign forever.
It's very confusing and I am just studying it deeply for the first time myself, but I do have the basics down. Revelation is what Tim LaHaye's "Left Behind" Series is based on. He has each book take a few chapters of Revelation and tries to show us plainly what Revelation and the Bible is saying to us. I hear it's also easier to read. :-)
------------------ If you don't believe in what I say or the God I speak of I guess you'll just have to meet me so the Lord and I can convert you.
posted
In the year of Cheese, all pink balloons will expand to encompass vast amounts of space containing little men known who are the lovechildren of Jon Voight and Scooby-Doo. These beings will merge into one giant Apple Pie with enough apply taste that The Great Basketball will bounce on all of the corners of a giant Rubik's Cube at once, thus destroying Earth.
You think I'm talking gobledygook, look at the post above mine. Rapture. Tribulation. Ri-ight.
------------------ "Ultra Magnus is Undeniably Fun!" David Stevens, New York Magazine. "Total Complete excitement from start to finish!" -WPIX-TV, New York "This isn't a thrill ride, it's a rocket..." -Richard Caves, Time Magazine.
posted
Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To know that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice. -- Robert Frost
This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper -- T. S. Eliot
posted
Of course, it's suspected by some that good ol' John was high as a kite when he wrote Revelations.
It's seen by others as a metaphor-ridden treatise on the fall of the Roman Empire.
In any case, after due consideration, I find the text highly suspect in both its origins and its veracity, and consider people who devoutly believe that rubbish just one step below the Heaven's Gate cult members. Why below? At least the Heaven's Gate folks had the courtesy to seclude themselves and self-destruct.
------------------ "Nobody knows this, but I'm scared all the time... of what I might do, if I ever let go." -- Michael Garibaldi
posted
You know, I've read a few reasons people don't believe in Revelation and "John was high" is a new one. -LOL- I can't believe I let this go for a day and nothing was really said. Any other topic and someone would have given me a verse to look up.
The only people who believe what you have read First would be those professors of Christian colleges who also believe that Mary taught the parables to Jesus and things of that nature. (They also probably helped put that terrible TV movie together.) These "scholars" try to make the Bible say the easiest thing to swallow and are being used by Satan to fool people like yourself. There are a lot of people out there claiming to be Bible scholars, but for the most part only people who work for seminaries and undergrad schools in the CCCU are really professionals. Would you trust a Ford salesman to give you his true opinion on a Chevy?
The first rule of Bible translation is to take it literally unless you have scientific and/or archeological evidence to prove otherwise. Plus, study of the text in their orginal languages can tell us whether the book is written in poetry, stort story form, fiction, non-fiction, ect. Revelation was written in a literal way of writing (I'm not a literature person) unlike the early parts of Genesis which suggest a fable, folklore format.
We do know John was to be executed, THE EXECUTION FAILED, and then was sent to Patmos. Revelation was written on that island. He then later died in Ephesius. He was the only disciple not to be martyred, just as Jesus said.
------------------ If you don't believe in what I say or the God I speak of I guess you'll just have to meet me so the Lord and I can convert you.
posted
>"and are being used by Satan to fool people like yourself."
About this...
Has anyone ever actually tried explaining just exactly what it is Satan hopes to accomplish by grabbing up souls? Is he going to use them to build "Satan's Death Star?"
"Okay, they're all in place, now activate souls 33,650 thru 987,765,910!" *KABLOOEY!*
Are they going, after suffering torment, to join his new army?
"Yeah, we're the 57th Airborne adulterers."
It's almost as much a 'well, um... we didn't bother coming up with an answer to that one' question as "what does God want with a starship?"
What does Satan want with souls? I kinda doubt he's just an avid collector.
"Hey Beelzebub! I'll trade you two Gluttons, a Sheep Abuser and an Infidel for your Inquisition Apologist! Gotta catch 'em all!"
------------------ "Nobody knows this, but I'm scared all the time... of what I might do, if I ever let go." -- Michael Garibaldi
posted
No actually it's believe the science man.Something that is written as fiction can still be useful to one's spiritual life. To my knowledge, a scientist has never been able to refute something in scripture that was written in a non-fiction sytle.
Satan did something to make God upset so God through him out of Heaven. We do not know what this was, but it is thought to be jealousy. It's really just a revenge thing, Satan is trying to ruin everything God has created. He already introduced sin into the world and He is still trying to make our lives miserable. God, on the other hand, is using this so that He can become known to everyone by ridding us of Satan and his followers after the Tribulation.
------------------ If you don't believe in what I say or the God I speak of I guess you'll just have to meet me so the Lord and I can convert you.
posted
Wait a sec....just to clear up some ground-rules... Bryce, in what way do you take literature such as Dante's "Inferno" (The Divine Comedy) and "Paradise Lost" Meaning, do you believe them to be literal truth, fiction based on the Bible, fanciful meanderings, etc.?
Also, do you believe in the whole Harrowing of Hell, leading to Purgatory, and Hell being closed till 1000 AD (not a typo) concept?
------------------ Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness. - anon (...and boy am I efficient...) A real diplomat is one who can cut his neighbour�s throat without having his neighbour notice it. � Trygve Lie
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