I have a good friend Tim. Or maybe I sohuld say had... I loved him more than I've ever loved anyone else, and we shared more times together than most friends ever could. Through all the turmoil and angst we went through in life, we were there for eachother. When things were good, we supported eachother like no one else. Everything we did together was fun, meaningful, and fufilling. It truly was the best friendship I've ever had.

But something happened, and now it's gone... It's been gone for a long time-- like since May, when it all started to fall apart. But we've been hanging on, though it's not been pleasant. I thought we'd be able to fix it though... we HAD to! Friendships like ours can't just disintegrate overnight like that!

Or maybe they can. I lost Tim last night, and this time I lost him for good. And so I'm hurting. A lot. Because he's over here all the time hanging out with Lacey, but because of what has happened, I'm a stranger in my own house. I'm not welcome, so I may as well leave... and I did... last night at 4am I took off, and I haven't slept in over 36 hours now.........

It just hurts to lose someone like this. And I have no one I can really talk to... we have too many mutual friends, and I don't want to put anyone in the middle. So I'm sitting here, hurting, trying not to cry, and knowing that somewhere along the way it all fell apart, and I wasn't even paying close enough attention to see it coming.....

Maybe in the afterlife we'll be friends again, but maybe not..... maybe we weren't even destined to be friends to begin with..... but it was a great three years of my life, until it all ended......... thanks for letting me vent. I'll feel better after I get some sleep and after he goes back to school. TTYL.

~LOA

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"Well if it's gonna be that kind of a party, I'm putting my dick in the mashed potatoes!"

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"I never saw the TAS, there actually was sex on the bridge?"

They say that time heals all wounds, and I have to agree with that. It'll take time but you will pull through this just like you've been pulling through everything else that's been placed before you. What you need right now is to get things together and then sit down and give yourself time to heal.

I have a wide circle of friends. Many many times I have watched as two or more of my friends erupt at each other. Then they've come to me to vent, talk, and advising. It's been difficult, but these people so much to me that I force myself not to make anything a personal crusade. I'm writing this because you said you and Tim share mutual friends. If they are good friends, you can pour your heart out to them and not worry about judgement or condemnation. They will help you.

Try and find somewhere to stay for a while (friends, etc.). Try and get adjusted to your new environment and then spend some time with yourself. Cry. It never makes anything worse, and it helps you relieve a lot of your pent-up emotions. After that, find a friend and have a nice long talk. You have friends that will listen to you and offer support and compassion.

Above all else, remember that you will persevere. You are a very strong woman; you've been through things that probably would have left me dead by now. You are a good, decent person and what is happening now is not the end of the world, as much as it may seem. Tim and you may repair your friendship. If not, you will probably find someone who will be as close to you eventually as you were with Tim. I am definitely not the most religious or spiritual person here, but I know that you depend very much on yours. Use that and your friends are your support to get through this. You can do it.

Liz, I don't know you that well, but I'm also available as an impartial objective bounceboard & "blogboy;" my AIM name is in the profile.

I, too, would offer profound advice (probably from one soulbond or another), but I tend to ask questions that I'm sure you don't want to get into here.

Believe me, though, when I say I more than understand what you're going through...probably more than most people in "reality" & here.

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I DO NOT ENJOY BOTH GENDERS!!!
Ultra Magnus

You're a person of deep faith who really wants to blow their car up.

But, seriously, best of luck with what you're dealing with.

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Star Trek Gamma Quadrant
Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with <i>seven</i> eps posted)
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"Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!"
-Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001
****
And homeschooling also turns you into a socially well-adjusted person, capable of talking to people without them wanting to ram a f***ing chair down your throat! - PsyLiam, 3/11/01

Keep these two words close to you as close as I keep them close to Mark and I. "Faith Manages".

-Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

"Through many trials, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Twas grace that brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home."

-John Newton, 1779

*HUG*

:::points at sigline:::

A few weeks ago, I told a long-time friend how I felt about her. We'd lived together in first year as housemates, and kept in touch after she moved out. Last year, we began hanging out together in earnest, and I began fancying her, I never said anything, for fear of a) rejection, and b) ruining one of the best relationships I've had with a friend.

Things came to a head lately and I told her about my feelings. She had NO idea I felt like that, none whatsoever. A few days ago, she told me that she couldn't see us as anything but friends, nothing more. She's back now with a fellow she'd kinda been seeing on and off for the past few weeks (one of the reasons I'd cracked).

Funny thing is, most of the people I know thought that we'd either been together at one point, were going to get it on any minute now, or were going to hook up sometime in the not-so-distant future.

That is so off the cards now.

You have no idea of the rage I'm capable off. None. I was ready to lash out at anyone that looked crooked at me or crossed me. And not for the first time. I really am a danger to those I know sometimes, and there's no need for drink to be invovled either. This is all ME.

There's a ton more details (like how she used to tell me who she'd been "with", and I her) that I have no intention of getting into here.

Suffice it to say that I've lost one of my best friends, and perhaps one of the best chances I've ever had to be happy.

[ASIDE]
You know, this "talking about things" isn't all it's cracked up to be. I certainly don't feel better about spilling my guts out to you lot. All it's done is remind me of the loss I've suffered.

Again, it's just me.
Liz, I dearly hope that getting all that stuff off your chest helped you in your situation. But running away from the problem won't help. Tell your room-mate what's up, and that seeing her with Tim is screwing you up big time - either she'll respect your wishes, and keep her distance from him, or else you'll know who your real friends are.

Christ on a bike, that sounds really reassuring, doesn't it!?
All I know is:

1.
There is no such thing as the prefect moment to do anything. Perfect moments happen by themselves.

2.
Time does heal.
That's all I need - time. I know that. valium wouldn't hurt though

Sl�inte. Hope we're of some help.

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At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.

"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"

Anyway, thank you though... it's not nearly as bad now as it was in my tired state yesterday... plus I talked to some people last night and found some VERY unlikely support... (Whoo, life sure is strange!)

Guess what though? I had an aphrodesiac chocolate last night (don't ask....!) and it made me feel all weird... not horny, but like shaky and queasy... just thought I'd let ya know that....

Thanks again, folks, but I'll be fine.... I lost him, but I'm realizing that the REAL loss is on his part... and he'll realize that too, someday... Until then, i'm going to go out, have fun, and be the happy person I like to be!

~LOA

Let's go terrorize the men-folk here. Or there even!