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Author Topic: Todays's news goodies
Sean
First Tenor
Member # 2010

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If you think you have marriage problems...

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"Kosh, I'd like to introduce you to our Resident schmuck and his side kick Kick Me."-Ritten

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity".
-George Carlin

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Daniel Butler
I'm a Singapore where is my boat
Member # 1689

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lol Who changed your name to choir boy?

Man, I hate the whole idea of polygamy. Not because it commoditizes women (I think that's a separate issue entirely, although loosely related) but because if all the hot rich guys are taking multiple wives then we poor ugly fucks get no tail at all. Thus polygamy is a way to shit on men as well as women...double shitting! Hooray!

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Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343

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You're a fucking idiot.

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"The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"

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Vacuum robot lady from Spaceballs
astronauts gotta get paid
Member # 239

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Yes, he could always sink to your level, no?

There's "tail" out there if you have no other rules, Daniel, my boy. My sweet dear boy.

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WizArtist II
"How can you have a yellow alert in Spacedock? "
Member # 1425

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I have enough trouble dealing with a single wife when Aunt Flo visits each month. Can you imagine over 80?


And God forbid their TOTM synchronize....

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There are 10 types of people in the world...those that understand Binary and those that don't.

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Daniel Butler
I'm a Singapore where is my boat
Member # 1689

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I dunno how closely women have to live together for that to happen. It does say he lives with his wives and children, but I can't imagine they all live in the same house! [Razz]
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Sean
First Tenor
Member # 2010

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quote:
Originally posted by Daniel Butler:
lol Who changed your name to choir boy?


I did.

I don't think I could deal with 80 wives. Even surviving along side multiple women who I'm not bonded for life with is difficult.

And, Wiz, I believe that it is for some reason biologically possible for their 'clocks' to synchronize. I'd imagine that sends the residents running for the hills [Big Grin]

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"Kosh, I'd like to introduce you to our Resident schmuck and his side kick Kick Me."-Ritten

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity".
-George Carlin

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The Ginger Beacon
Senior Member
Member # 1585

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Yes, it's true. Women can give off pheremonal cues etc. that make other women living in close proximity sych up their mensral cycles.

Can't remember why, but it's all to do with the fact that the body relies on external stimuli to keep it's biological clocks in synch - essentialy, it's lazy. If there is a regular stimulus, it will use that to maintain the bodyclock, rather than using it's own mechanisms.

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I have plenty of experience in biology. I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998... And... it's still alive.

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HerbShrump
Active Member
Member # 1230

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quote:
I read considerable to Jim about kings and dukes and earls and such, and how gaudy they dressed, and how much style they put on, and called each other your majesty, and your grace, and your lordship, and so on, 'stead of mister; and Jim's eyes bugged out, and he was interested. He says:

"I didn' know dey was so many un um. I hain't hearn 'bout none un um, skasely, but ole King Soller- mun, onless you counts dem kings dat's in a pack er k'yards. How much do a king git?"

"Get?" I says; "why, they get a thousand dollars a month if they want it; they can have just as much as they want; everything belongs to them."

"AIN' dat gay? En what dey got to do, Huck?"

"THEY don't do nothing! Why, how you talk! They just set around."

"No; is dat so?"

"Of course it is. They just set around -- except, maybe, when there's a war; then they go to the war. But other times they just lazy around; or go hawking -- just hawking and sp -- Sh! -- d' you hear a noise?"

We skipped out and looked; but it warn't nothing but the flutter of a steamboat's wheel away down, coming around the point; so we come back.

"Yes," says I, "and other times, when things is dull, they fuss with the parlyment; and if everybody don't go just so he whacks their heads off. But mostly they hang round the harem."

"Roun' de which?"

"Harem."

"What's de harem?"

"The place where he keeps his wives. Don't you know about the harem? Solomon had one; he had about a million wives."

"Why, yes, dat's so; I -- I'd done forgot it. A harem's a bo'd'n-house, I reck'n. Mos' likely dey has rackety times in de nussery. En I reck'n de wives quarrels considable; en dat 'crease de racket. Yit dey say Sollermun de wises' man dat ever live'. I doan' take no stock in dat. Bekase why: would a wise man want to live in de mids' er sich a blim-blammin' all de time? No -- 'deed he wouldn't. A wise man 'ud take en buil' a biler-factry; en den he could shet DOWN de biler-factry when he want to res'."

"Well, but he WAS the wisest man, anyway; be- cause the widow she told me so, her own self."

"I doan k'yer what de widder say, he WARN'T no wise man nuther. He had some er de dad-fetchedes' ways I ever see. Does you know 'bout dat chile dat he 'uz gwyne to chop in two?"

"Yes, the widow told me all about it."

"WELL, den! Warn' dat de beatenes' notion in de worl'? You jes' take en look at it a minute. Dah's de stump, dah -- dat's one er de women; heah's you -- dat's de yuther one; I's Sollermun; en dish yer dollar bill's de chile. Bofe un you claims it. What does I do? Does I shin aroun' mongs' de neighbors en fine out which un you de bill DO b'long to, en han' it over to de right one, all safe en soun', de way dat anybody dat had any gumption would? No; I take en whack de bill in TWO, en give half un it to you, en de yuther half to de yuther woman. Dat's de way Sollermun was gwyne to do wid de chile. Now I want to ast you: what's de use er dat half a bill? -- can't buy noth'n wid it. En what use is a half a chile? I wouldn' give a dern for a million un um."

"But hang it, Jim, you've clean missed the point -- blame it, you've missed it a thousand mile."

"Who? Me? Go 'long. Doan' talk to me 'bout yo' pints. I reck'n I knows sense when I sees it; en dey ain' no sense in sich doin's as dat. De 'spute warn't 'bout a half a chile, de 'spute was 'bout a whole chile; en de man dat think he kin settle a 'spute 'bout a whole chile wid a half a chile doan' know enough to come in out'n de rain. Doan' talk to me 'bout Sollermun, Huck, I knows him by de back."

"But I tell you you don't get the point."

"Blame de point! I reck'n I knows what I knows. En mine you, de REAL pint is down furder -- it's down deeper. It lays in de way Sollermun was raised. You take a man dat's got on'y one or two chillen; is dat man gwyne to be waseful o' chillen? No, he ain't; he can't 'ford it. HE know how to value 'em. But you take a man dat's got 'bout five million chillen runnin' roun' de house, en it's diffunt. HE as soon chop a chile in two as a cat. Dey's plenty mo'. A chile er two, mo' er less, warn't no consekens to Sollermun, dad fatch him!"


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Daniel Butler
I'm a Singapore where is my boat
Member # 1689

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Sean: Oh, well, belated half-hearted congratulations on achieving enough postage to change your status line.
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B.J.
Space Cadet
Member # 858

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Clay Aiken: I'm Gay!
World: DUH!

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Mars Needs Women
Sexy Funmobile
Member # 1505

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Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
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Sean
First Tenor
Member # 2010

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Wow. It took this long...I was pretty sure he was gay for a while. I didn't know that Neil Patrick Harris and Lance Bass were though...

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"Kosh, I'd like to introduce you to our Resident schmuck and his side kick Kick Me."-Ritten

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity".
-George Carlin

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Daniel Butler
I'm a Singapore where is my boat
Member # 1689

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Well hey, he better not represent himself at his trial hahahahaha!
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Jason Abbadon
Rolls with the punches.
Member # 882

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Note to self: bogus lawyers are bright pink in skintone.

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Justice inclines her scales so that wisdom comes at the price of suffering.
-Aeschylus, Agamemnon

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