quote:Tuesday in Washington, the Pentagon unveiled its long-delayed "weapon of the future." The Bionic Cat, which will cost $4.6 billion over the next four years to manufacture, will eventually replace the Marine Corps. "You see, they look all cuddly and cute," explained Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld. "But if you corner one of these little nuclear bastards, they'll f*ck you up real good."
Deployment of the Bionic Cat will not commence until late 2002, but Marine Corps layoffs have already begun.
In a related story, the Army announced that a shortage of flea collars could delay their Toxic Poodle program.
------------------ At that point, McDonald fired his gun three times in the air to emphasize his point. The crowd, estimated at 350,000, loudly cheered the new candidate.
"Let me make this clear: I am the law! I am your ruler! And you will have fries with that, motherf*cker!"
posted
might as well post this... We love cats but, boy, they sure are hard to carry. Now all your feline transportation needs are easily solved with the new Cat Carrier. Just cram the cat's head into the comfortable "face cage" and screw in the "anal stabilizer" and you're ready to go.
------------------ "If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing."
[This message has been edited by Gurgeh (edited April 26, 2001).]
posted
The Cat on the Left: "...stop ... trying ... to ... take ... my ... picture ... or ... I ... will ... rip ... your ... leg ... into ... thousands ... of ... bloody ... strips ..."
Cat in the Middle: "I'm Beautiful! I love you!"
Cat on the Right: "...zzzzzzzzz."
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 8.32 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux (with seven eps posted) *** "Oh, yes, screw logic, let's go for a theory with no evidence!" -Omega 11:48am, Jan. 19th, 2001 *** "I think this reason why girls don't do well on multiple choice tests goes all the way back to the Bible, all the way back to Genesis, Adam and Eve. God said, 'All right, Eve, multiple choice or multiple orgasms, what's it going to be?' We all know what was chosen" - Rush Limbaugh, Feb. 23, 1994.
posted
Awwwwwww! That cat carrier is soooooooo cruel!
Haven't these people ever heard of a cat basket - you know, the ones that are used when transporting cats on planes and boats?
If my cat caught even a glimpse of that carrier - we'd never see her again!
I can't believe someone has actually come up with such a torture device! Were's my shotgun - damn! Don't have guns in the UK. Say, any of you in the USA mind lending me one?
posted
Re: Cat Carrier. Holy fuck, people need to get a fucking sense of fucking humor. Or at least fucking common fucking sense. Fucking fuck.
If you saw it on a website, It MUST be true.
------------------ "Instructed by history and reflection, Julian was persuaded that, if the diseases of the body may sometimes be cured by salutary violence, neither steel nor fire can eradicate the erroneous opinions of the mind."
-Edward Gibbons, The Decline and Fall of The Roman Empire.
------------------ "Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow." -Maynard James Keenan
posted
Y'know what I fear? If this thread goes on too much longer, we're likely to delve into the depths of such monstrosities as the cat train...
------------------ "Although, from what I understand, having travelled around the Mid-west quite a bit, apparently Jesus is coming, so I guess the choice now is we should decide whether we should spit or swallow." -Maynard James Keenan
And, with that, Master of the Pun slips into the shadows.
------------------ "...he got a mind control car from a great menace named Euri and they began conquest! THE RED MENANCE~ so yuo have too fight back and destroy teh RED TIDE before it destroys the AMERICAN!!! PS: The russiens also took over Texas and thats good becuase Texans need to have robots with missales shoved up there butts anyways (texans are the worst evar)."
posted
You can actually see the cat suffering even in the opening picture, no matter how innocent or temporary his big joke is. There is nothing funny about it.
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Yeah I pretty much guessed that it was a joke - I'm still entitled to slag off the nutter who thought it was funny. I'd like to see a picture of him in a Human Carrier and see how he'd like a giant screw shoved up his ass! Although thinking about it, if he's gay then he might enjoy it too much.
I don't care whether it be a joke or not - it's cruel and gives people ideas as to how they can harm animals - it is wrong!
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