posted
I had no idea that I was acting British. Truth be known, I'm not sure if I even do know how to act British. Sir, my honour's been bruised!
Registered: Mar 1999
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Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
posted
I shall act British whenever it blimey well pleases me, bloke. Don't be daft.
Registered: Nov 1999
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-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
Tut tut, cheerio,take a butcher's up the apples and pears and say, 'what is this, the tea interval?'*, pop into the WC, take the lift, drive the lorry down the wrong side of the street and Bob's your uncle. Congratulations, you are now a pathetic and clumsy American impression of British.
ps-That's a wicked googly.
Also, you'll get a full gander down the goose with me and don't mither with the sheep or they'll get narky!*
-------------------- "Nah. The 9th chevron is for changing the ringtone from "grindy-grindy chonk-chonk" to the theme tune to dallas." -Reverend42
Registered: Sep 2000
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2. Developpe a tendencye to add unnecessarrye lettyres to one's wordes. Especially 'u's.
3. Oasis.
4. Remember to refresh that superiority complex.
5. Scoff at the French, but do it better than everybody else.
6. Belittle the Americans, but not too much, because they might kick your arse.
7. Belittle the Australians, but not too much, because they WILL kick your arse.
8. Export your best comic book authors to the US. And your worst musicians.
9. Pay 4 dollars a gallon for gasoline, and think you're getting a good deal. Tell Americans who pay $1.40 for the same gallon that THEY need to switch to solar power.
10. It's illegal to dance in bars.
11. You have to inform the government if your car is undriveable, or they fine you.
12. Two words: TV Tax. Supposedly, to continue "quality programming" on the BBC.
13. Promote a "Mary Poppins" image of nannies, then send psycho au pairs to the US to decrease the surplus population.
14. Remember to maintain superiority complex.
15. Fail to understand why Americans, even those who 'get' Monty Python and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy can't understand that they're part of an Evil Empire which must be destroyed.
16. Benny Hill.
-------------------- "The best defense is not a good offense. The best defense is a terrifyingly accurate and devastatingly powerful offense, with multiply-overlapping kill zones and time-on-target artillery strikes." -- Laurence, Archangel of the Sword
Registered: Mar 1999
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-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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2. From an article in Newsday (which has, sadly, expired from the free archives:
quote:You're drinking with friends in a pub in London's lively West End when a catchy tune comes on the jukebox and you begin swaying to the music. Stop right there -- you might be on the verge of breaking the law.
A British pub chain was fined $7,850 after undercover inspectors caught a few patrons dancing at two of its popular bars. The crime: flouting licensing laws that ban "rhythmic moving."
Another pub where customers were found "swaying" was served two written warnings.
quote:For those unsure about whether their movements constitute dancing, Westminster Council believes the rules are clear.
"Dancing could be described as the rhythmic moving of the legs, arms and body, usually changing positions within the floor space available and whether or not accompanied by musical support," Bob Currie, director of the council's community protection department said in a letter to an industry newspaper, The Publican.
-------------------- "The best defense is not a good offense. The best defense is a terrifyingly accurate and devastatingly powerful offense, with multiply-overlapping kill zones and time-on-target artillery strikes." -- Laurence, Archangel of the Sword
Registered: Mar 1999
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quote: Developpe a tendencye to add unnecessarrye lettyres to one's wordes. Especially 'u's.
Not unnecessary; simply correct.
quote: Belittle the Americans, but not too much, because they might kick your arse.
LOL .
quote: Belittle the Australians, but not too much, because they WILL kick your arse.
Only at cricket.
quote: You have to inform the government if your car is undriveable, or they fine you.
Um... and?
quote:Two words: TV Tax. Supposedly, to continue "quality programming" on the BBC.
...which is frequently better than US programming and certainly better than having to put up with that many adverts!!
-------------------- "I am an almost extinct breed, an old-fashioned gentleman, which means I can be a cast-iron son-of-a-bitch when it suits me." --Jubal Harshaw
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Why would you want to dance in a pub anyway? There are more than enough clubs for that.
And wouldn't you be annoyed if you were in your local having a drink and some idiot got on a table and started dancing?
Regarding the superiority complex: You are right. Certainly I cannot recall of any instances where an American on this board has said something like "When you come down to it, the US is the best country on the planet". Never. Ever. At any point.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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Cartman
just made by the Presbyterian Church
Member # 256
posted
"And wouldn't you be annoyed if you were in your local having a drink and some idiot got on a table and started dancing?"
No. Mostly because I'd be in a hightened state of mental relaxation by that time. Also, the taste of local colour is just priceless.
-------------------- ".mirrorS arE morE fuN thaN televisioN" - TEH PNIK FLAMIGNO
Registered: Nov 1999
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quote:Originally posted by PsyLiam: Regarding the superiority complex: You are right. Certainly I cannot recall of any instances where an American on this board has said something like "When you come down to it, the US is the best country on the planet". Never. Ever. At any point.
Saying that our country has a superiority complex does not negate the assertion that yours does, as well.
In fact, one could say the the main reason OUR superiority complex aggravates you brits so much is that it interferes with YOURS.
-------------------- "The best defense is not a good offense. The best defense is a terrifyingly accurate and devastatingly powerful offense, with multiply-overlapping kill zones and time-on-target artillery strikes." -- Laurence, Archangel of the Sword
Registered: Mar 1999
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posted
But isn't the reverse also true? Besides, the English speak English. They've got a right to be cocky, since the Canadians, Americans, and Australians also speak English.
posted
Yes. And the British never use anything American at all ever...
Er, anyway. The English are smug, American's are complacintly arrogant, and the Scottish are bitter.
-------------------- Yes, you're despicable, and... and picable... and... and you're definitely, definitely despicable. How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't just that... it isn't... it's... it's despicable.
Registered: Mar 1999
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Shik
Starship database: completed; History of Starfleet: done; website: probably never
Member # 343
posted
And the Welsh unintelligible.
-------------------- "The French have a saying: 'mise en place'—keep everything in its fucking place!"
Registered: Jun 2000
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![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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