posted
Thursday night, a co-worker, "Carrie", and I went out for happy hour at Padonia Station, a sports bar near the Papa Johns we both work at (this was more of a "hanging out" date than a "date" date)...
We drank, and drank, and drank some more, and drank, and drank, and finished up with a drink ... and then decided to get high (my first time getting high, I might add) ... so we're driving around Cockeysville getting high, and she starts rambling/talking about all kinds of crazy stuff, and then tells me that a guy took "advantage" of her when she was 16 (she's my age now -- 22).
She also tells me that when she moved back to Maryland from Florida (about 3 months ago), she went out drinking one night (heavy drinking) -- and woke up the next morning in some stranger's bedroom ... she was crying as she was telling me this (at least, I think she was, I was drunk and getting high so I might not be the best person to judge...)
But she told me how horrible it was to wake up and have no memory of what had led her to be there ... I wondered if she'd been raped, but she was certain she'd consented ... but ...
I can't get it out of my head that this guy raped her.
Hell. I don't know ... maybe I just want to get this out for "discussion" ... Right. Where's a beer?
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 7.5 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Shop Smart -- Shop "S"-Mart
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited December 03, 2000).]
posted
You need to find out if he was in his right mind at the time and whether she wanted to stop at any point. If he were has hammered she was then it is a question of whether a person is mentally capable of knowing right from wrong while that drunk.
------------------ Well, it's done, yes, the deed is done.
quote:We drank, and drank, and drank some more, and drank, and drank, and finished up with a drink ... and then decided to get high (my first time getting high, I might add) ... so we're driving around Cockeysville getting high
You fucking rule, dude. You're my fucking hero. Too bad there were no children out, 'cause then you would be the fucking rule-meister of the world.
Again, you motherfucking rule. So much so, it hurts.
------------------ "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry
[This message has been edited by Ultra Magnus (edited December 03, 2000).]
posted
My sister was killed by a drunk driver, but I was going to save that for a little late in the thread, going for the question first. But, UM's right.
------------------ Well, it's done, yes, the deed is done.
posted
If she consented, it isn't rape. Of course whether she was mentally capable of the consent at the time or not is in part her fault for getting so drunk she can't remember for sure.
------------------ [6th Sense] I see dumbass people [/6th Sense]
posted
At least not to get blind falling on you ass passed out drunk.
------------------ Oh, yes, sitting. The great leveler. From the mightiest Pharaoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn't enjoy a good sit? ~C. Montgomery Burns
I was drunk off my ass, she had been sobering up for a few hours. She was driving, so the drunk was not behind the wheel ... (in this case at least)
Sorry for the confusion =(
See, I have a weak tolerance for alcohol. Three beers or ciders, and I'm out there. We made a point of starting to sober up before we got high, so we stopped drinking about 8ish or so and didn't leave Padonia Station until a little bit after 10 ... so, yes, I was still very drunk (because I'd had two Bass's, two Ciders, something really bad, and most of a pitcher of Bass, I think), she'd had one cider, one something really bad (maybe two), and whatever of the pitcher I didn't drink ... I think ...
So, she wasn't drunk when we left.
I should've made sure to put that in the first post.
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 7.5 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Shop Smart -- Shop "S"-Mart
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited December 03, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited December 03, 2000).]
posted
So, she has no memory of it, and she's crying because she might have got raped? Jeez. Tell her to just get over it.
Hang on, I've just remembered. I got drunk last night. I might have attacked someone with a shoe. I don't remember doing it, but that doesn't matter, because the pain is juts as great.
Half the people who go to clubs and get drunk want to end up in someone's bed. You don't want to, don't drink as much, or stick with your friends. Did they just let her wander off with a strange man?
Tsk, can no-one live today without having a Sensitive/Disturbing Incident In Their Past in an attempt to make up for a lack of personality.
Grr.
------------------ "I am in one of those rare periods of life where I am convinced I am a sexy devil."- Simon "Sol System" Sizer
posted
She was sobering up for a few hours after getting pissed? Yeah, that's they person I want driving me home. It's still unfortunate there were no children present, they make a nice splat, because their heads are so small.
Anyway, if she was so drunk that she was out of it and lost recognisance and was taken advantage of, no it's not rape. Sure, she may not have consented, but once you decide to "get hammered, hyuck, it's so fun!", and you impair your mental facilities, it's your own fault.
Sure, the guy shouldn't have done whatever he did, but there's a lot of things that shouldn't happen, but they do. (School shootings, Voyager, Pieces of shit who drive drunk,).
And besides, it's not like she said 'no'.
------------------ "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry
Yes, we were playing pool for a few hours after drinking before we left the bar (its a sports bar, remember?)
The reason being, is she & I didn't think it would be a good idea for me to be getting HIGH ontop of being completely piss drunk.
a) I'd been there for 30 minutes before she got there, so I had a head start on her in beer.
b) we shared a pitcher of Bass Ale (of which I consumed more of her than her), then each had two or three glases/bottles of alcohol
c) we stopped drinking at about the same time
d) the drinking was over by 7:30ish, and started (for me) at 5 (5:30ish for her).
e) we played pool for a couple of hours, and I know we didn't leave Padonia Station until 10ish because I clearly remember the digital clock in her car (I just can't remember if it was 10:15 or 10:51 ...)
Anyway ...
I disagree that if someone goes out and gets smashed they "get whats coming to them" in so many words. That's about as ridiculous as saying a girl walking down a path is raped because she's wearing shorts and a t-shirt and "exposing" too much skin ...
<"sure, she may not have consented">
If someone doesn't consent to sex, I'd tend to think of it as rape, yes?
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 7.5 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Shop Smart -- Shop "S"-Mart
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited December 03, 2000).]
posted
Your reasoning behind why it was alright for her to drive is insane, and altogether fuckingly stupid. And quite personally painful.
There is quite a BIG FUCKING DIFFERENCE between wearing sexy pants and being sexually violated and losing reasoning capability ON YOUR OWN VOLITION, and being sexually abused.
This is akin to the difference between:
A) BEING PUSHED into a rodeo arena blindfolded with an irate bull charging at you,
and
B) WILLINGLY CLIMBING into the pit. I have no sympathy for the latter.
TSN: When have you and I ever disagreed?
JEFFK: What's the deal with you and every post bringing up your 'getting high'. Yeah, we read it in the first post. It's not a badge of coolness, or something that impresses anyone. It's sad, really. (Yeah, It was the first time I got high, if I may say so myself.) Yeah, who really gives a shit?
------------------ "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world." - Dave Barry
I brought it up as to why we stopped drinking. I thought I made that rather clear? No, I don't consider it a badge of coolness, I don't plan on doing it again (er, the marijuana, I rather enjoy getting drunk on some occasions)
Someone has a bit too much to drink and because of that a guy has the right to take advantage of her? And it's her fault? Sorry, Ultra, I don't buy that at all.
Yes, I'm sure it was painful, I lost a cousin to a drunk driver, but maybe you're missing that:
a) We didn't go right from drinking to driving. Yes, that's correct! There was a period of about 3 hours wherein we consumed NO alchohol whatsover! (Ok, fine, I managed to snag a cider jack, but I wasn't driving).
b) She had TWO - maybe THREE - beers (okay, one was a cider jack), and maybe a little less than half a pitcher of Bass (which isn't a very big pitcher, mi amigo -- maybe enough for 4 glasses) -- so she had MAYBE four beers and one cider. After 3 hours she'd still be piss drunk? Ah ... I don't think so (especially as the drinking itself was stretched out to two hours or so).
------------------ Star Trek Gamma Quadrant Average Rated 7.5 out of 10 Smileys by Fabrux *** Shop Smart -- Shop "S"-Mart
[This message has been edited by JeffKardde (edited December 03, 2000).]
Printer-friendly view of this topic
